Bikes are fun, but are more simply transportation than needlessly expensive and precious things to geek out about. Using your bike has been normalized, and you don’t get the self-rightious hurrahs about being environmentally correct. It’s like, “whatever–it’s a bike.”

I’m currently craving a giant spread of Berliner style breakfast with tons of cold cuts, pickles, thin brown bread and amazing German butter. Mmmm…

maybe the fixie fuck will get hit by a bus next time.

1) Almost nobody wears any kind of head protection, even on major thoroughfares. My estimate is maybe 2% of adults and 20% of children, though at least the kids take side streets for the most part. Locals call me a hopelessly prudish Ami whenever I bring it up.

2) Despite a vast and brilliant network of bike lanes, people routinely ride on the sidewalks. Because Berlin has good sidewalks too. Sometimes this is rational, because riding on cobblestones is hard; but mostly it’s just that the cyclists consider all flat surfaces fair game. When on sidewalks they will at least make some attempt to not run over pedestrians.

3) Kids get started *really* early, on these little wooden walk-bikes. Local yuppie kids know how to ride a bike way before they understand that cars could squash them like bugs. Three is on the old side. This is of course very cute, as long as they don’t get squashed.

4) Fancy bike trailer thingies for kids are all the rage. Maybe it’s like that in Menlo Park or something, but I always flinch when I see somebody with a nylon trailer-tent full of offspring blithely cruising down the street. Fortunately, Germans are good (if fast) drivers, so the statistic likelihood of your paper bag full of kiddies getting flattened is probably not high.

This morning outside my house, your standard bike with no brakes fixie caring a tattoo covered guy with one of those funny hats on, runs a red light almost runs full speed right into a woman and her child walking across the street, the woman says “Hey, watch out!!!” bike messenger turns and yells “Fuck you bitch!” as he continues onward. ???

This upsets me!