1. The Rapture is

a) What happens at the end of the world

b) Not as good as Moving Units

c) A new brand of Jeans

d) Why I go to church

e) Overrated

2. The Postal Service is

a) What I use to mail things

b) Ben Gibbard’s side project

c) A punk band

d) A new coffee shop

e) A website

3. Screaming Females is

a) My favorite porn site

b) A new ride at Six Flags

c) The best new band of 2010

d) An S&M club

e) A kind of candy

4. Converse is

a) What I do at dinner

b) Not as cool as vintage cowboy boots

c) What I have been wearing since 1992

d) Inappropriate attire for my workplace, home, or school

e) Cooler if you wear Jack Purcells

5. Thurston Moore is

a) A 16th century English Baron

b) A writer for Warner Brothers

c) A catcher for the Seattle Mariners

d) A God

e) My friend on MySpace

6. Calvin Johnson is

a) A true poet of the age

b) A wide receiver for the Detroit Lions

c) A guy I went to high school with

d) An insurance broker

e) An idiosyncratic modification of a soy chai latte

7. I wear vintage clothes because

a) I’m poor

b) It’s a way of protesting consumerism

c) It’s funny

d) I shop at Macy’s

e) Used clothing is gross

8. I ride a

a) Cinelli

b) Vespa

c) Mo-Ped

d) Chevy Trailblazer

e) Bus

9. Emo is

a) A word for spoon in the Eskimo language

b) A large flightless bird that lives in Australia

c) A religion founded by Ian MacKaye

d) My own personal style

e) I have no idea

10. I’m vegan because

a) It’s wrong to eat animals

b) It’s cool to be really skinny

c) I’m not vegan

d) I had a hamburger for lunch

e) I volunteer for PETA

11. I studied _______ in college

a) Business

b) Criminology

c) Biology

d) Graphic Design

e) American Literature

12. South By Southwest is

a) The best Alfred Hitchcock film

b) Not as cool as it used to be

c) Where I met my husband or wife

d) A real estate convention

e) The direction in which I walk to get to 7-11

13. PBR is

a) My favorite beer

b) A good beer for the price

c) The most ethical beer based on it’s ties to unions

d) Not as cool as it used to be

e) A terrible drink that only stupid and poor people would buy

14. Levi’s jeans are:

a) For yuppies desperately trying to prove their American-ness

b) Not as cool as Cheap Monday or Nudie Jeans

c) I try and buy vintage and usually remove any labels because it’s more authentic

d) Inappropriate attire for my workplace, home, or school

e) On sale at Urban Outfitters

15. Myspace is

a) A place for friends

b) Still a good place to put out your band’s music and network with other musicians

c) Inappropriate for my workplace, home, or school

d) Not as cool as Friendster

e) Where I meet prostitutes

16. Make Out Club is

a) A bar

b) An underground kissing club

c) Where I met my husband or wife

d) I have no idea

e) An online social network that was cooler than Myspace and Friendster and Facebook combined

17. Eminem is

a) Stupid

b) My favorite musician

c) A candy that melts in your mouth

d) Noteworthy for his work with Dr. Dre

e) Inappropriate for my workplace, home, or school

18. Urban Outfitters is

a) Where I shop

b) For young people

c) Revolutionizing the fashion industry

d) For posers

e) What is Urban Outfitters?

19. Blogging is

a) A waste of time

b) Fun

c) Where I write poetry

d) A serious breach of personal privacy

e) How I make a living!

20. Green Day is

a) Something to do with St. Patrick’s Day

b) The best punk band ever

c) Somehow becoming cool again in a highly and unexpected circular fashion

d) The way I mark my calendar when I start my diet

e) Annoying because the lead singer uses a fake British accent

Answers:

1. a) 1 b) 5 c) 3 d) 2 e) 4
2. a) 1 b) 5 c) 3 d) 2 e) 4
3. a) 1 b) 4 c) 5 d) 3 e) 2
4. a) 2 b) 4 c) 5 d) 1 e) 3
5. a) 2 b) 3 c) 1 d) 5 e) 4
6. a) 5 b) 1 c) 3 d) 2 e) 4
7. a) 3 b) 4 c) 5 d) 2 e) 1
8. a) 4 b) 3 c) 5 d) 1 e) 2
9. a) 3 b) 2 c) 5 d) 4 e) 1
10. a) 5 b) 4 c) 1 d) 2 e) 3
11. a) 1 b) 2 c) 3 d) 4 e) 5
12. a) 3 b) 4 c) 5 d) 1 e) 2
13. a) 2 b) 3 c) 4 d) 5 e) 1
14. a) 4 b) 2 c) 5 d) 1 e) 3
15. a) 3 b) 5 c) 2 d) 4 e) 1
16. a) 2 b) 3 c) 5 d) 1 e) 4
17. a) 5 b) 2 c) 3 d) 4 e) 1
18. a) 4 b) 2 c) 3 d) 5 e) 1
19. a) 1 b) 4 c) 3 d) 2 e) 5
20. a) 3 b) 2 c) 5 d) 1 e) 4

Your Hipster Rating:

90-100 Total Hipster: You’d better go grab some vegetarian sushi and a few cases of cheap beer because guests are about to start arriving at your house show/indie label showcase with significant industry reps arriving at any minute. Hurry!

80-90: Cool Person: You have good instincts, but you’re not paying attention! You need to go to more shows and hang out with more musicians to achieve better style.

70-80: Nerd or Yuppie: If you really want to be a hipster, quit your job and start a rock band or go to art school. It might mean a pay cut, but you will look and act cooler.

60-70: Working Adult Professional: You have no instincts for sub-culture. You are boring, but you run the world. Good for you!

60 or below: Normal: Why are you reading this?

A. bohemian= weird person musician artist poet etc.
B. hipster= rather normal young person from an affluent family trying to fool people into believing that she or he is a bohemian.

this is the first laugh i’ve had for days.

or move to Antioch or some shit where boring white people all get along

you’re probably not going to believe this, but i’m the programmer who implemented that feature on yelp. so i can tell you that it’s been a category since february 24, 2011.

-JR