People with dumb tattoos

This babe Melissa (not pictured) just wrote a post looking back at some memorable dates she’s been on, one of which took place in the Mission:

It is the local hipster coffee shop’s one year anniversary blow-out prom party, by exclusive invitation. The very cute owner of my favorite bar asks to take me. We end up on sort of a double-date with another couple who are also on a first date. We dance, we laugh, we take goofy pictures. We pile into a van to go to an after-party. The girl on the other date is showing everyone her tattoos. “I got this tattoo of plaid because, I dunno, I just like plaid?” she says. Date and I had bonded earlier over people with dumb tattoos. “What’s the writing on your chest?” he asks. “It’s a line from my favorite Decemberists song: ‘You Are the Heart That I Call Home.’”

Read on for the dramatic conclusion.

[Completely unrelated photo by Little Miss Chocolate Syrup]

18 Responses to “People with dumb tattoos”

  1. al pal says:

    I met a girl once who had the following tattoos on her back:
    1. A “dickicorn”, unicorn with a penis for a horn
    2. An elephant with a large human penis, taking a large shit.

    No one is going to believe me but idc idc idc because I saw them in real life \ THEY ARE REAL

    • theknocks says:

      a dick unicorn and an elephant taking a shit are bad ideas for tattoos by most standards…. but calling people’s tattoos stupid just because they have no other reason why they got them other than “i just like ______ ” or because they don’t have some “acceptable” validating meaning is horse shit.

      put whatever on your body, unless it involves genitalia and/or feces, or if there really is a need for that… space them out on your body….duh.

      sounds like this girl is just bitter because she didn’t have any “stupid” tattoos that made said date want to make out with her at the end of the night. don’t hate on a love connection…

      • I reserve the right to insist that ALL tattoos are dumb. They bind your body to a particular point in your history and they make you look even more decrepit than you normally would, once you get old. Oh, and for extra credit, sometimes your body has an allergic reaction to the ink and you end up, at best, with a body modification that is half tattoo and half scar (at worst, it’s life-threatening). Just sayin’, yo.

        • sixtypercenttogether says:

          I’m with Cranky on this one: all tattoos are dumb.

          but her date horror stories are pretty awesome.

      • SFdoggy says:

        Why do you draw the line at genitalia and feces? Those are only the most extreme examples of stupid tattoos. It is not horse shit for people to have opinions — and if someone puts something on their body for the world to see, then the world is free to judge it “stupid”. You can’t have it both ways.

  2. scum says:

    After reading most of her stuff I am not sorry I don’t know her.

  3. scum says:

    Its the real me Cranky, who ever that is.

  4. wannabe says:

    HAAAA I used to think said girl with stupid tattoos was the coolest. Everyone wanted a mustache ride with someone who worked at Ritual in the mid 2000′s.