Comments on: CONTEST: Win tickets to a play about a decadent and disturbing cruise ship experience

By: Stu

Stu — Fri, 07 Sep 2012 02:57:57 +0000

You are lucky. Hippo’s are responsible for the most human deaths by animal in Africa each year.

By: D. Jon Moutarde

D. Jon Moutarde — Fri, 07 Sep 2012 00:33:37 +0000

L’Chaim!

By: Herr Doktor Professor Deth Vegetable

Herr Doktor Professor Deth Vegetable — Thu, 06 Sep 2012 23:28:25 +0000

Mazel Tov!

By: scum

scum — Thu, 06 Sep 2012 21:36:54 +0000

She broke me down, we got married in July.

By: D. Jon Moutarde

D. Jon Moutarde — Thu, 06 Sep 2012 21:28:55 +0000

You used to talk about your fiance — what happened?

By: scum

scum — Thu, 06 Sep 2012 21:25:42 +0000

I saw some really big trees this weekend. My wife and I got sandwiches from Hole In The Wall in Arcata then drove down the Avenue Of Giants. We hung out by giant Redwoods and saw some Crows. The End.

By: D. Jon Moutarde

D. Jon Moutarde — Thu, 06 Sep 2012 21:18:51 +0000

“Winner will be chosen based on merit.”

…And sincerity, one can only hope.

By: tk

tk — Thu, 06 Sep 2012 20:28:24 +0000

Jesus Christ. I got scared by my cat once, and you’re dodging warthogs and killer elephants. Remind me never to go on a trip with you.

By: Allan Hough

Allan Hough — Thu, 06 Sep 2012 19:23:36 +0000

Ewwwwww!

By: Lori

Lori — Thu, 06 Sep 2012 18:57:57 +0000

My craziest vacation experience took place in Africa. Innocent enough, as most adventures start, my backpacking friend and I decided to hire a guide in Harare to take us on a ‘safari’ adventure in a far off reserve. It wasn’t until after we paid that we found out he was not the most official guide: he was a cook. But when in the moment of adventure, one does not look back and it was a clear reflection of the times in Zimbabwe as locals there were struggling to find any work. Under the protection of our guide with his shotgun and jeep we proceeded on the 5+ hour ride over rocks and hills, deep into the reserve which was bordered by mountains. We set up camp that night excited and nervous, finding it difficult to sleep with the roars or animals right outside the tent. Morning was refreshing as we were finally able to leave the tents to relieve ourselves! We took the canoe off the roof of the jeep and prepared for our day. We were instructed to breakdown the tents as curious monkeys like to poke around and then left on our way. We were canoeing down the river, past groups of hippos, opening their mouths wide and howling. We had to bang the paddles on the sides of the boat to warn them to stay away. Right. This idea, although the only thing you can do to announce your presence, was not the most effective, as we quickly boated over the head of a very angry hippo. He surfaced. We screamed. Now my paddling skills are not the best, but we hauled ass away from that looming head and jaws which could bite through our little metal canoe. We also knew about the alligators in the water, most likely laughing at our stupidity. With a stroke of luck we escaped the hippos territory and sighed with relief. The guide chuckled and said ‘wasn’t sure we were gonna make it’. He then proceeded to tell us about all the tragic stories that happened on the river. Awesome. A little later, we were obstructed by a group of hippos on the right side, and a huge bull elephant on the left side of the shore. He was flapping his ears (a warning sign I had seen before-elephants usually fake it 2-3 times and then charge with all their might). The hippos were giving off their own raucous protective noises. We had to navigate in between them. Death on both sides and this shotgun looked like a joke. OK adventure it is! We slid through slowly and quietly, being careful to stay calm. No one breathed. When on the other side my friend and I opted to stay on land, so we beached the boat and started our hike back to camp. On the way, we ran into a water buffalo. Our guide broke off a large branch and charged at him! What?! We looked at each other with open mouths. The water buffalo walked off to our amazement. The guide turned to us and said casually ‘you are either the fighter or the loser’. Walking on, he quickly put his arm across both of us and stopped. In silence he threw a rock at a hole a few feet in front. Out shot a warthog with amazing speed. The guide said ‘be careful where you walk-those things can take a man’s leg off’. We followed his lead after that. Still full of adrenaline, we made it back to camp, but things looked a little off. Monkeys! We went to our tents. My dear friend had discovered her tent was covered in monkey feces. It stank but good. I looked at my tent. No smells, that is a good sign. I went to pick it up and only half left the ground. My tent had been ripped in half by a baboon! Of course it was, could this day get any more ‘adventurous’? We spent the evening fixing our tents (Luckily I had a sewing kit and duct tape). We lay very still that night, our heads filled with the days excitement. Now that is a safari!

By: Anne Marie

Anne Marie — Thu, 06 Sep 2012 18:33:59 +0000

I worked in the cruise industry for years & one thing that always threw me was the number of people who would die on the NYE cruises. The morgue would always have 4-8 bodies in the morgue when it pulled back into port in January. One year I had to handle the medical release for this one guy who had just had some MAJOR organ transplants. We had to get doctors & insurance sign offs for EVERYTHING, but this guy was bound & determined to spend his 1st NYE with his new organs on the high seas. Well, he was in the morgue come Jan3rd due to the fact that he partied so hard & threw up so violently that some of those organs came popping back out.