Mission Mission

Thanks, Mr. Parks!

[via our Facebook wall]

This is even better than the Do-It-Yourself Yellow Journalism Machine of 2009.

[via Carl Bean-Larson]

These Diet Coke ads have recently popped up around town.

Wow. An agency got Diet Coke to buy advertising on 1 of the 3 public telephones in the Mission. pic.twitter.com/99yGx7PeB2

— Mai Le (@mai) February 25, 2014

@mai @eviloars @kevinmonty pic.twitter.com/89H9Rc9vJK

— Paolo Sambrano (@paolo) February 26, 2014

New ads on pay phones seem to mock . . . something. But maybe the tone is what you bring to it. Maybe they’re meaning to celebrate a lifestyle or demographic that they’ve identified on some fancy charts as primed for targeting.

You’re in San Francisco, you took some crazy risks, the whole world is in your hands, put the world down for a moment and pick up a can of soda.

Or maybe they’re trying to get us to write and talk about it. So here we are. In that vein, I’d like to remind you that drinking Diet Coke is probably horrible for your body. You’d be better off drinking a glass of water. Also, water isn’t specifically messing with my head to get me to write all this right now.

We Built This City wondered if they were real, “I’d say that I hope these ads are a joke or art piece, but they probably aren’t. I mean, seriously? Seriously?”

If they are real, and not just a new effort from the BLF, I’m kind of baffled by what they mean. You could swap out their brand with anything else, nothing about it seems to imply that you need Diet Coke, but I guess that’s just lifestyle advertising.

Have you bought a secondhand dresser from the Sunset sometime in the past few years? If so, pull out the drawers now! If you’re lucky, you’ll find a secret aquatic surprise painted by an anonymous artist:

About 6 years ago, perhaps longer I was subletting a friends room. While he was away I pulled out all of his dresser drawers and painted underneath them an aquatic scene. I never told him about it and he ended up selling the thing. Do you remember buying a dresser in the sunset? Would you like to take a quick peek under there, you might find a seahorse couple. I don’t want the dresser back I just want to find out where it went.

How magical! And of course, let us know if you happen to be the lucky winner.

First things first, let’s be clear about one thing:  a hate crime is an act perpetrated against another due to their race, gender, sexual orientation, or religion.  It often results in the death or persecution of entire groups of people, and it is deplorable.  It most definitely does NOT include a confrontation over a highly controversial and expensive piece of intrusive technology.  There’s no need to go all Tom Perkins over here.

Now, on to the story.  Over the weekend, tech writer Sarah Slocum vented on Facebook:

OMG so you’ll never believe this but… I got verbally and physically asaulted and robbed last night in the city, had things thrown at me because of some wanker Google Glass haters, then some *bleeeeeeeeeep* tore them off my face and ran out with them then and when I ran out after him his *bleeeeeeep* friends stole my purse, cellphone walet and everything..

Of course, other patrons of Molotov’s someone working across the street had a different take upon reading the article:

That is not at all what happened. It was after last call, she was wasted and being a bitch, someone called her a glasshole and her boyfriend tried to fight the dude, and got his ass whooped. The glasses fell off her face and someone picked them up and gave them back to her. Nobody robbed her either, this [person] is making all this shit up. Go Molotovs!!!!!

At this point I thought the name sounded familiar, and I realized I went to school with her, so I reached out with the above version of events.  Sarah went on to continue defending herself on Facebook:

I wasn’t being any sort of a bitch until after I was flicked off, called a bitch, had dirty wet bar rags thrown at me and had people invading my personal space and trying to rip them off my face.

Your “friend” must have been one of the people who robbed me or who were friends with the robbers and tech glass haters at that bar and must have been the wasted one because they can’t even tell the difference between males and females or remember the story correctly. No glasses fell of my face. Those were my friend’s prescription glasses who defended me and got in a fight with the guy that ripped the glasses off my face and ran out of the bar with them. And if anyone got their ass beat it was the guy that that assaulted me and ran outside the bar with the Google Glasses. The only injuries that my friend has is a scrapped knee. And actually he was jumped by two other **** while he was fighting the douch bag.

I was minding my own biz with a computer phone. Everyone has a computer or phone these days. And what have they done to the city? Given people cool cellphones?? And awesome technology that we all use and take for granted everyday? I realize that I represented the tech millionaires and billionaires in their eyes, but that isn’t me and I didn’t even pay for my Google Glasses, one of my developer friends gave them to me because he wasn’t using them and doesn’t currently have time to develop an app for them right now.

Now, the whole story sounds pretty crazy.  There’s conflicting versions of events and a lot of alcohol involved.  Someone else even sent me this message on Facebook:

I wouldn’t normally comment on such things but i actually met this girl on the street after the incident happened. Couple of things: It was 2am on a friday night when i met her she was less than sober (she had had approx a small child full of vodka cran’s) secondly from what she told me it sounded like she left her bag and phone unattended in a busy bar on a friday night. Her friends were so riled up (and obnoxious) that they almost started fighting with me when i argued it maybe wasn’t the smartest idea to wear google glass and film in a punk rock bar and leaving a bag and phone unattended wasn’t the wisest of decisions. I left her feeling sorry only for myself that i had spent 5 minutes of my life in her groups bosom.

So I don’t know what happened.  What I do know, however, is that it is absolutely moronic to label this as a hate crime, as Josh Wolford thought fit to do.  Perspective, people.  Please.

(Now, if you want to go ahead and call it a HAIGHT CRIME, by all means be my guest)

Here are five things I’m looking forward to:

1. Punk Rock Fancy tonight

This is the festival’s official opening night party, featuring DJ sets by legends Bob Mould, Shepard Fairey and Jello Biafra! Right here in the Mission at Noise Pop HQ!

2. The Limousines @ DNA Lounge tomorrow

We wrote about these guys way back in 2009 after a local blog pointed out that they’d written “the Tumblr anthem.” It’s a great jam. Read all about it.

3. Future Twin + Cocktails @ Bender’s Friday, happy hour

These two bands rule. And Bender’s rules. And it’s presented by the Bay Bridged, which rules.

4. No Age @ Bottom of the Hill presented by Mission Mission Friday

This is our show! No Age RULES!

5. Mikal Cronin @ the Chapel Saturday

Mikal Cronin live at the Mission’s hottest new rock venue? Yes, please!

Here’s the deal, via the official invite:

Join SF Weekly for our Fourth Annual DRINK Event! Enjoy tastings from local and international beers, spirits, and wines!

Guests can expect to sample beer, wine, and spirits while being educated about the characteristics that make each brand unique. There will be a sampling from a number of products/cocktails, small bites, live entertainment, including DJ Cosmic Amanda of BFF.fm- Best Frequencies Forever, and a cocktail competition.

Participants Include:

Lagunitas Brewing Co
ThirstyBear Brewing Company
Plus many more to come!

To win a pair of tickets, tell us your best drinking- and/or SF Weekly-related anecdote in the comments section below. Winner will be picked based on merit. Contest ends at 5pm this coming Friday.

Coming soon Available now from The Tens.

From the invite:

Caryn and Kristin are back for another quiz night at Shotwell’s! There will be questions about rappers, Billy Joel lyrics, and many more!

Justin, from the Galley, will be serving some awesome grilled cheese options while Taylor and Paul sling your beers.

RSVP and invite your quiz pals!