Looks like this one didn’t make it out to Ocean Beach before the traditional Christmas tree bonfire. Which, may I add, is the classiest way for a Christmas tree to go out–like Bon Jovi in a blaze of glory (or not).

A tree identified as Douglas Fir was found dead on 20th and Folsom this morning. Early reports indicate cause of death was dehydration after the victim was dismembered and forced to stand upright using an elaborate anchoring mechanism. Scarring on the limbs detail that the victim was bound with electrical wire and forced to wear weighted objects during this agonizing period of torture.

The perpetrators are still at large and their motive is still unknown.

[via calwong]

Don’t worry dude!  No way am I going to mess with a guy wearing fingerless Misfits gloves in the morning.  That sure is a lot of presents though.  Can’t you spare just one?

Fine.  Whatever, Grinch.

What about the rest of you?  Do you still give give gifts to your peeps during the holidays?

Even though I’ve lived through quite a few Christmas seasons here in the Mission, for some reason I’ve never noticed these Christmas lights adorning all the trees lining 24th Street.  Do these get put up every year?  Who is behind this festive endeavor?  With Thanksgiving weekend still in its death throws, they sure didn’t waste any time!

For those of you who want to get a sense of how we celebrate the holidays here at MM, just pour a little whiskey in your champurrado and sit around the fireplace listening to this:

Also . . . ABBA CHRISTMAS.

Hurry, get your historically-accurate Santas at that One $ Only store* between 23rd and 24th!

*Item may not actually be $1. It’s one of those misleading “one dollar and up” stores. WTF? All they are doing is setting a minimum price.