Nobody has lawns in the Mission, so if you’re cranky and old, you’ll have to settle for defending your sidewalks. As Cranky Old Mission Guy reminds us:

People think I’m lying when I tell them that all this stuff is illegal. I guess I can’t blame them, because the police mostly ignore these infractions. The biggest reaction I’ve ever seen was a cop turning his head, briefly, to tell one #####, ####-###### ####### to get off the sidewalk. Then they both pretended it never happened and went on their ways undisturbed.

What do you think is behind the ### marks? My guess is “goddamned, mother-fucking asshole”

Seriously, though. Don’t ride on sidewalks. (Okay, okay… maybe if you accidentally turn down a one-way street and gotta ride it out until the next block. But even then, wear a defeated “I just fucked up” look and apologize profusely to every pedestrian you pass.)

[via C.O.M.G.'s Flickr]

The evite says the event is being hosted by Oliver & Sabec, an arts and entertainment law group.

Totally gonna slip them my demo and try to get it in the right hands.*  Watch for my band’s LP to drop this fall.**

* There is no demo
** There is no band