An offer too good to be true?

We’ve got individual rooms for rent!—think college dorm-style, a long hallway down the middle with rooms on either side, shared bathrooms, shared toilets. Below, Zeitgeist is a vibrant bar with a sunny beer garden for SF summers. We’re looking for a few good additions to our tenant base who can appreciate the bustly setting below while also respecting the solitude of their fellow hotel mates above the bar. Two rooms are available this month, two more next, each approximately 10′ x 10′. Electrical, water, and free Internet access are all included. We require a $600 security deposit, a $50 key deposit, and first month’s rent at lease signing. Here’s another cool thing: drugs are absolutely not tolerated, but well-behaved pets are. We’re dog and cat friendly. Background checks and credit checks will be run on all applicants, if only because the harmony of our living space is important to us. Interested? Please come by the bar and fill out an application or, better yet, make an appointment by contacting out resident property manager at: timeghost11@gmail.com.

I love the part about how “drugs are absolutely not tolerated.”  I’ll remember that the next time a coked-out bartender yells at me for only ordering two bloody marys.  On the other hand, you’ll be in perfect position to observe what I call the “Zeitgeist Paradox,” which postulates that on nice and sunny SF days when it seems as though it would be perfect to hang out at Zeitgeist, in actuality you don’t want to go anywhere near Zeitgeist because it’s packed to hell in there.

Zeitgeist Paradox Null-Hypothesis

And of course, if the city has their way, you won’t have to worry about smoke wafting up from the courtyard anymore either!  Burger fumes are another story, but only Vegansaurus would have a problem with that.  I also want to put on record that I really really wish my email address was timeghost11.  Totally fucked that one up.

Oh, and are you wondering how I shot all these pictures in the Zeitgeist courtyard without getting tossed?

Duh!  Porta-Potty Cleaning Day!

Details are constantly emerging regarding new legislation the city is considering that would expand the current ban on indoor smoking to include anywhere within 15 feet of entrances and exits to ALL buildings in San Francisco.  This verdict would ostensibly include enclosed smoking patios, such as that within everyone’s favorite place to get yelled at by barbacks (although a final decision on this specific point has been stalled and will be revisited in 2 weeks). 

Assuming that this zany legislation somehow passes despite its detrimental impact on businesses already weakened by the recession, what will this mean for Zeitgeist?  Do people just go there because they can smoke in the backyard?  Or is it all about the mass appeal of a sunny outdoor space for drinkers (especially since lately this seems to be an endangered species)? 

Furthermore, what will this mean for non-tobacco-smokers who exploit the freedoms of Democracy by blending in with smokers (and carrying identical implements) only as a guise to stealthily engage in, um, other activities?

UPDATE!  Commenter dave has the answer:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, the only thing that can save that place is a highly publicized stabbing.

[photo (and somehow not getting kicked out of the place) by gweedo]