According to SFWeekly, late Saturday night/early Sunday morning police responded to multiple calls involving an 80-200 person bar fight near 16th and Albion. When the officers arrived on scene, within minutes, the fight was nowhere to be found. Not a trace.

[file photo by me]

Here are some possible explanations for such an occurrence:

• Ghosts – the people who were fighting were actually ghosts and they disappeared.

• Fighting Runners – people who fight as they run; everybody was running away from and/or into the fight at the same time and at the same speed such that the fight remained relatively static while moving through space.

• West Side Story Brawl – the patrons from Monk’s Kettle and the boozers from The Kilowatt exited their respective establishments at the same moment, leading to a Sharks v. Jets style face off. Just as they began snapping at each other menacingly, the coppers were called and a little kid in a newsboy’s cap ran out into the middle of the street yelling “Scatter, it’s Officer Krupke!” The two crowds quickly dispersed into cabs and alleyways.

So, one of those three things happened.

UPDATE: Somehow a plausible fourth option is being suggested in the comments: an actual fight that originated inside Gestalt, involving a man swinging a shovel at multiple people. Sounds pretty crazy. I’d get the hell out of there in a hurry too.

Why is the Flax guy always trying to take down the Valencia Travelodge?

I’m not sure what’s going on here, but my guess is that the bald dude tried to use savesies to score that parking spot and the questionably-Hawaiian dude was not too happy about it.

Seriously, don’t fight folks. Let’s settle our differences like everyone else does these days: by posting quasi-anonymous comments to one another on the internet until someone tells us both to shut up.

Previously:

There Are No Savesies