"There Are No Savesies"

Revisiting our prior debate over whether it is acceptable for pedestrians to stand in and occupy parking spots in order to hold them for their friends, MM reader Jeremy shares the following story:

Some dirt bag motherfucker used his vehicle to battered me out of the parking spot I was holding for me wife, who was 1 block away.

After asking if he saw me, He said yes, and sneered, “there are no savesies.”

I asked him not to leave, as he had just hit me with his car, and I wanted to call the police.  He threw down a business card on the hood of his car and told me to “do whatever the fuck you want, because I’m going home.” and walked away from his car, presumably towards home.

So I called the cops.  A hour and a half later, duchebag who used his vehicle as a battering ram was handcuffed in the back of a black and white, not for hit and run(accidental accident that he walked away from), but Felony vehicular assault (He new I was there and purposely hit me with his car).  Fuck anybody who wants to use their cars as weapons, either against pedestrians, or bicyclists

FYI, Dirtbag never even asked me to get out of the way. He just rammed into to me with the back of his car and pushed me out of the way. I would have probably given up the spot to him had he asked (I spend enough time looking for parking after work to be sympathetic to someone coming home after work).  But ramming people with your car?  Go to jail, asshole.

[Photo by Dan of Future's Past]


Okay for Pedestrians to Occupy and Hold Parking Spots?

59 Responses to “"There Are No Savesies"”

  1. conor says:

    jeremy is a big whiny baby

  2. sean says:

    If Jeremy’s so sympathetic to strangers looking for parking, why stand in parking spots at all? To be asked nicely for them? What an asshole.

  3. aa says:

    Nice to see my tax dollars going towards this sad little contest. I doubt Jeremy got hurt or he would have bitched (and probably sued) about that too.

    • Samir says:

      Whatever the reason, it’s not ok to hit someone with your car. You can’t control what happens to you but you are responsible for how you react.

  4. Bob Dole says:

    Jeremy sounds like he’s from the SOMA.

  5. DP says:


    Did you suffer any injuries or seek immediate medical treatment? I would document those ASAP as you probably have a civil case.

    I’m not sure I buy the “I would have given him the space”, because you also said your wife was just a block away.

  6. MrEricSir says:

    Solution: sell car, purchase bicycle and/or Muni pass.

  7. Andy says:

    What a little punk!! What sick fuck gets the police involved in something that’s not actually a situation? Bull shit you didn’t know he was moving his car forward.

    I kind of like his style “threw is card on the ground and said ‘do whatever the fuck you want’.” Isn’t that something Steve McQueen would do after totally nabbing some bad guy?

    You know how stuff escalates? When both people are dicks! If you just chill out, be the bigger man, and walk away, nothing happens.

    You don’t have a lawsuit, any judge would see what a stupid pissing contest this is. There’s no reward. Sounds like he edged forward, you threw a fit, and he said “I don’t have time for this shit” and walked off. BIG DEAL.

    • Lauren says:

      Booo to all the criminal commenters! Cars should not be used as weapons regardless of the circumstance. You can disagree with reserving a spot for someone (I disagree with on-street parking completely), but if you act on this by hitting a human being, then you are amoral and belong behind bars.

  8. M.A.C. says:

    so some guy did a parallel parking job so quickly that you couldn’t get out of the way in or even see him approaching?

    this story is complete bullshit.

  9. gm says:

    wow, Jeremy, sounds like a real prick.

  10. “Pour out a little milk for all our homies killed saving the 18×9″

  11. DM says:

    No saving parking spots! First come first served.

    No way Jeremy was surprised by this guy. Get out of the way, stop being a baby.


  12. Eon says:

    Jeremy thinks he is entitled and then calls the cops when he can’t get his way. Boo hoo.

  13. olen says:

    Hey, Jeremy – there are no fucking savesies, so get out of my way, betch.

  14. james says:

    I’m amazed that people think they can “save” parking places. parking is totally for the vehicle that is there now, not one coming sometime in the future. this Jeremy should go back to the gated community from which he sprang and to which he no doubt aspires.

  15. Heather says:

    How could he not have had time to move when someone was parallel parking? It seems like he intentionally stood there to make the car hit him, just so he could escalate this. Thanks for wasting the time of our police force! I hope this case gets thrown out.

  16. Chris says:

    This is a classic case of douchebag versus douchebag.

  17. Cat says:

    Favorite part: “he never even asked me to get out the way”, yup because an adult in the year 2010 one would have no idea that a car coming towards you is a dangerous situation on their own. And yeah, even the most skilled of parallel parkers aren’t exactly ninja-ing their way into spots. If anything I bet parker dude had to make a 10 point turn to get into the spot. Plenty of time for douchebag Jeremy to get the f* outta the way.

    • jeremy says:

      Seriously… it was one spot away from an intersection. Dude pulls up to the light and puts his blinker on. I didn’t give it a second thought because it looked like he was turning left. Next thing I know he guns the engine and rams me.

      Believe what you want… but dude purposely struck me with his car without warning… I had no time to react.

      As I told the cop, I wasn’t mad or angry… I just don’t want fucktards to purposefully batter people with their cars to do that shit and think its okay. If that makes me a douche so be it. I’ve seen too many people hurt by drivers who have an ugly sense of entitlement on the road.

      • jeremy says:

        Errr…meant to say “looked like he was turning right.”

        Whatever. If dude had angrilly rammed a bike out of the way to get a parking spot you’d be screaming for his blood. But because you spend too much time circling the hood looking for parking, your sympathies lay with the dude who uses his car as a battering ram — so much so that you feel the need to call me a liar in order to justify your sympathies.

        Hate me all you want.. call me names. Whatever. But just don’t purposely hit people with your car and don’t make excuses for those who do.

    • mcas says:

      Cat: I don’t what ‘adult 2010′ you live in– but I assume that people behind the wheel are paying attention, trying to avoid hitting people– not intentionally ramming someone.

  18. The Tens says:

    Has anyone made the There Are No Savesies t-shirt yet?

  19. sjbrown says:

    While there may arguably be a “no savsies” clause in the unwritten social contract, there is definitely a “don’t hit anybody with your car” law on the books. Be they obstinate, ugly, poor, deaf, tourists, of a different skin color than your own, children, wearing expensive clothes, whatever. Don’t hit them with your car.

  20. Cranky Old Mission Guy says:

    I call bullshit on this whole anecdote. Court doc references or it didn’t happen.

  21. ooeygooey says:

    “Dirtbag never even asked me to get out of the way”.


    “Next thing I know he guns the engine and rams me”.

    I’m sorry, but the first implies that there was a moment when asking you to move could have happened, and the second implies that no such moment existed. I think that you knew there was a chance he was going to park and you chose to hold your ground IN THE STREET. I’m sorry, get out of the street. He should have just backed in far enough to make his intention clear and then just waited for you to move your dumb ass out of the street. He made a bad choice. You are a dumb ass either way.

    • Jeremy says:

      No… the first line you quoted doesn’t imply a contradiction. The first line from the quote was at the end of my anecdote, preceded by an FYI, when I realize that while relating the incident in a casual manner, to you the readers, I hadn’t established that he failed to make eye contact with me, or ask me to move or anything. He just hit me. It’s sort of a big reason as to why I called the cops.

      If you think that this proves some kind of contradiction in my account(s)? Oh well. Like I said. People look for an excuse to justify who they choose to identify with.

      I’m just relating an anecdote that happened to me in the Mission, which I thought was topical to the original discussion. The people on the “you can’t save spots” side of the argument seemed to be expressing a lot of rage and frustration and entitlement — like the guy who hit me.

      Surprise surprise… People in this thread — joking or otherwise — suggested that hitting me with a car was totally legitimate… a cool thing to do. Someone mentioned Steve Maqueen? Like asshole in car was some kind off action hero? — This is exactly the kind of thing I’m talking about.

      There’s a lot of anger and frustration out there. I just hope people stop and think before they act out in the real world.

      As for the “Proof, or GTFO comment?” Shrug. Believe what you want. All I know is it never went to trial (plea bargain, or thrown out), and I’m too lazy to dig out the incident number. If anybody cares to back track this one, it was opening Night for WALL-E (Thursday night/Friday morning midnight showing, I believe). :P

      It was at the south west corner of 19th and Valencia (or maybe 18th, but I’m pretty sure 19th.)

      Black(or dark green?) Honda of some sort, I believe.

      Dude’s probably reading this right now. [wave] :)

  22. chippy says:

    you’re a giant pussy. go cry into your beard.

  23. Buffet Boss says:

    GOOD! Im glad to see drivers being held accountable! and that Jeremy wasnt hurt. that said, heres my rant

    I hate driving in this city because of all the idiots that dont think of anyone but themselves, I MEAN EVERYONE! be it the right on red that didnt even stop before cutting me and my green light off, or the pedestrian who walked right out in front of me when i was 4/5th thru the intersection, hell Ive been run off franklin st by a bmw who didnt know where his lane went. People dont even think of vehicles as being dangerous, but on average the us has 6,500,000 “accident”s a year and 50,000 people die yearly from drivers mistakes. So Drive/walk/bike safe out there!

    Pay Attention, It could Cost Ur LIFE!


  24. Vic Wong says:

    I would have handled the situation differently, but there’s no denying that saying “no savesies” is pretty awesome.

  25. egoldin says:

    I got in a nice battle with someone in a situation like this. My friend called from two blocks away, so I saved a spot for him right out front by standing in it. As he pulls around the corner, the car in front of him tries to take the spot. Even pointing to my friend I was saving the spot for, they refused to back out. They didn’t hit me, but we had a nice yelling session back and forth. The situation dissolved when my friend drove off.

  26. suckerpunch says:

    I don’t understand… why were you just standing in the street? I’m sorry, but what am I missing here?
    Maybe he didn’t see you because he was looking for a vehicle, not a person?

    • Buffet Boss says:

      so i shouldn’t stop for people crossing the street, unless there in a car?

      • suckerpunch says:

        Ummm, he wasn’t crossing the street. He was standing in it, where cars are allowed to park.

      • Buffet Boss says:

        i knew u understood, ur playin dumb, like matlock.

        “Maybe he didn’t see you because he was looking for a vehicle, not a person?” you should b looking for more than just vehicles…dogs, kids, bikes, D-bags, suckers like u etc..

      • suckerpunch says:

        And if you’re standing in the street, you should be on the lookout for cars.

  27. Reisanbin says:

    Simple solution: move to the Outer Rim – plenty of parking, probably a garage, if it hasn’t been converted to an illegal in-law dungeon.
    You may even score a meth lab and a Happy Endings massage parlor next door, so you won’t even have to leave the Steppes.

    Aquí paz, y en el cielo, gloria

  28. BK says:

    The “duchebag” (sic) is kind of my new personal hero. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve actually wanted to do that to some imbecile trying to assert their position with 150 lbs of flesh and bone vs. 2 tons of metal killing machine. I can’t believe this guy had the balls to do it. I’m sure Jeremy is exaggerating the injury and it was probably just a lovetap. Honestly, I prefer the homeless dudes in the TL that try to make a buck by saving you a spot than these morons. NO SAVESIES!

    • jenn says:

      Oh, you have got to be kidding me – “imbecile trying to assert their position with 150 lbs of flesh and bone vs. 2 tons of metal killing machine” – since you are presumably behind the wheel of a car – the mere fact that you consider it a “killing machine” makes me think YOU SHOULD NOT BE DRIVING.

      Drive round and find a damn spot of your own.

      • BK says:

        I’m an avid pedestrian, actually. I don’t really respect people that feel the need to drive in cities with sufficient public transportation and I think they should be taxed like crazy so the rest of us can have trains that run on time. However, I do respect the fact that cars are heavy and move fast and that I wouldn’t have much of a fighting chance in 1-on-1 combat. Anyone who thinks otherwise is pretty damn foolish.

  29. suckerpunch says:

    I think we can just chalk this up as another installment of “When Douches Collide”.

  30. IPFreely says:

    Come on! Ain’t no savesies! I’m sure it was a lovetap. I have actually administered one of said lovetaps when an asshole jerk-face indigent would not get out of my way when I was trying to pull up to the drive thru window at a Chicago McDonald’s. (True story. no laughing.) He just stood there standing at the window smirking at me with a sour face full of the chips from off his shoulder, so I gritted my teeth, matched his snarl, and looked him dead in the eye as I crawled my mommy’s cute li’l Benz three miles per hour straight into his ashy kneecaps. And yes, he moved. And yes he, pitched a fit and instead of pulling out a pistol called the po-po on pre-paid with the entire Micky D’s graveyard shift as merry witness, but ain’t no Chi-town po-po gonna believe a drunk black man hollerin’ gin-stank about some honky in a Benz done hit him inna drive-thru. Life’s tough. Ain’t no savesies.

  31. pat says:

    Jesus. Is it mandatory to play the part of the uptight city living asshole because you own a car? I don’t know, I don’t own one. I am in favor of savesies. Can someone please explain why this is different than saving your friend a spot in line for a show while they’re on the way to meet you? It’s a 2 way street you fools. You can have your friend save you a space next time you need to meet them, if you give someone else the courtesy. It’s team work and you know they’re not putting up a tent and making smores for fun when they’re sitting there.

    Are you also against the special diamond lane? Handicapped people taking away the space you pay for and deserve?

    Someone make the argument that this increases driving, mathmatically and then I’ll change my mind. It doesn’t seem like it would. Either one car circles a little more or the other one does.

    • Emily says:

      “Can someone please explain why this is different than saving your friend a spot in line for a show while they’re on the way to meet you?”

      uhm, yeah…the line moves, the car doesn’t

      • Dave says:

        uhm, no. How is it less valid a comparison just because the car doesn’t move right away? A friend saves the spot, one driver goes in the spot, and the other driver finds another spot & tries not to stay awake all night crying about the great injustice.

  32. Sid Rancid says:

    Simple – the driver should’ve just blocked the spot so the spot couldnt be taken by the person it was being “saved” for and just stood his ground, but dont hit the person. In all fairness, its first come, first served for parking spots. If a car is at a spot a split second before me, I drive away. If someone on their cell phone comes running out and stands there, thats not being fair. NO SAVSIES, PERIOD!

  33. jenn says:

    I’m really amazed by the number of people who think that they are “entitled” to a spot and that someone else is not. It’s all really entitlement – isn’t it?

    Sometimes the issue is safety – if someone cannot pull into a spot safely because of traffic or the rules on the street – why not have a friend hold the spot? I have done so many times for my friends – and I will do it again.

    • one says:

      jenn: totally. that’s how it works in real life.

      this anti-savsies “debate” is like getting worked up over whether or not saying “Frisco” is an insult. a lot of noise.

      except for the felony vehicular assault thing.

      the driver was the asshole – glad he’s going to jail.

    • yep says:

      No one is entitled to any parking spot on public streets. Period.

      If the issue is safety, the “safe” thing would be for people not to stand in parking spots (as sometimes there is limited visibility).

      If you can’t pull into a spot safely, you just need to move on and find another spot. Just because you see a spot and have a person who can go out and “save” it, doesn’t entitle you to the spot, either.
      It sucks, but that’s driving in the big city. Sometimes you get lucky, sometimes you don’t.

      • jenn says:

        …you’ve never lived in New Orleans, I take it. People put out trash cans, lawn chairs and 2 x 4s for parking space reservations on “public” streets – god help you if you move that shit!

        Yes – it is perfectly acceptable for someone to stand in and hold a spot that THEY SAW FIRST so that the driver can make the appropriate maneuvers for safety and legality.

        Even better is if you see someone getting ready to leave – ask them if they’ll hold off til your friend arrives – so there is an actual car in the space.

        I think the anti-savesies people are the same people who INSIST on “one line” at Walgreen’s or who go ballistic if someone gets served at La Victoria before they do…

      • suckerpunch says:

        Jenn, insist all you’d like, but really, there are no savies. There are only people who might not want the hassle of arguing that’s all.
        Seeing a spot “first” is hardly relevant, in this case. Sorry.

  34. Heather says:

    After reading this, I’m so glad I don’t own a car here. I’m not one of the “close off Market St. to cars, everyone should ride a bike types either.” I don’t know how to ride a bike, so that isn’t an option for me.

    Having a car in this city seems a huge hassle–does the benefit really outweigh the annoyance? I can see if you live out in the Richmond or Sunset, needing a car. But the Mission? I lived there and didn’t own a car. Some of my roommates did and it seemed like they were forever getting broken windows, tickets or towed.

    I remember this space saving thing from when I lived in New Jersey. There though, people got seriously injured over it–punched or occasionally, shot or beaten with a tire iron, not getting tapped by someone’s car.

  35. BRO CHAT says:

    “Some dirt bag motherfucker used his vehicle to battered me out of the parking spot I was holding for me wife, who was 1 block away.”


  36. Someone should make an inflatable car you leave in “your” spot during the day, kind of like the maskirovka tricks the Soviets pulled in WWII.

    • Ariel Dovas says:

      My friend and I once wrote a sketch back in the days when we were trying to get on Saturday Night Live called Parking Buddies. It was a commercial that involved things that you put over parking obstacles. One of the things was a guy parks next to a fire hydrant and takes out his Parking Buddy, which looks like a blue mail box and puts it over the hydrant. Later he comes back, picks it up, shakes out the mail that it’s accumulated and happily gets back in his car and drives away.

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  40. Shane says:

    I totally sympathize with Jeremy. This one time I was standing in the doorway of the DMV trying to hold my wifes spot in line as she looked for parking. And these assholes kept coming up and trying to get by me. So this one guy eventually brushes past me and sneers “please let me through we are all busy people here.” So I call the cops and now he’s doing 50-life for attempted rape and man slaughter. Burn in hell prick.

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