Star Wars condom wrapper or Star Wars fruitsnacks?

YOU BE THE JUDGE!

Both possibilities present their own set of unexplained questions.  For instance, what does a wookie taste like?  Some would even say that Star Wars condoms are themselves a paradox, but given enough time and enough galaxies (some far far away), odds are that they would eventually find their way onto some Jedi’s lightsaber.

Lost Weekend Video’s rad new plan to ally with Oakland’s 1234Go! Records

Well, this is some GRAND news!  Instead of having to close their doors for good in May as they previously feared, they’re going full Voltron:

First, Lost Weekend, in partnership with Oakland’s 1234Go! Records, will be relaunching the Valencia Street location on April 18th (Record Store Day 2015) as a new video store/record store hybrid, ready to serve all of your physical media needs. VHS, DVD, cassettes & vinyl – all in one place – with an expanded staff of enthusiastic fans ready to recommend the best in new or classic music & film.

A little bit of Oakland is just what the Mission needs right now!

Read on for the rest of the plot.

(Thanks Andy!)

Terrifying Octocone found in the wild

Or is it a Contopus?  Either way, he actually looks kind of cute from this angle, where it looks like he’s minding his own business instead of trying to devour your face:

Bomb scare at 23nd and Bartlett

Police have currently blocked off Bartlett from 22nd to 24th Street.  23rd and 24th Street are also both taped off from Mission to Valencia.  Police are approaching the situation as if it’s a live bomb and have advised residents to stay inside, so be careful out there everyone.  Don’t be the guy who gets blasted because he was trying to get a cool photo.

We will update as we know more.

This incident comes right on the heels of Ariel’s encounter with the arsonist, and I really hope they’re not at all related.

UPDATE:

Mission Local reports that the bomb was thankfully yet still alarmingly a hoax device:

Police reported at 11:30 p.m. Friday that the suspicious device found at  23rd and Bartlett looked like a bomb, but turned out to be a hoax.

“It appeared to be a legitimate active device with a timer and wires,” police reported but “After rendering the device safe it was found to be a hoax device.”

Can’t we just give up on trickle-down economics and replace it with BUILD-UP economics?

Supervisor David Campos recently penned a thoughtful article questioning why we all still believe in the magic of trickle-down economics to miraculously solve San Francisco’s housing crisis:

Free marketeers are claiming that if we build enough luxury housing it will eventually trickle down and turn into housing for the poor and middle class. This is the failed policy of Reaganomics at its worst. Housing isn’t like most commodities. Consumers can abstain from many goods, but shelter, like food and water, is a basic human necessity. If you’re currently seeking housing in our city and can’t afford market rates you have three choices: be homeless, leave, or get on a long wait list for low-income housing. While some free marketeers go so far as to say that if you can’t afford a $3,000 one bedroom you should leave the city, others are pushing the policy of ‘let them eat cake development’ that ultimately has the same outcome – displacement. Think about it this way: if there were a bread shortage in San Francisco and the cost of bread skyrocketed, no amount of fancy cake would fix the bread market.

Taking it a bit further, I’m wondering why anyone who understands the economic disaster our nation is facing can sanely espouse that trickle-down economics will fix our economy.  Why can’t, instead of providing tax breaks to corporations and the rich in hopes the extra money will trickle down to the masses, we instead institute a new policy of BUILD-UP economics, where the influx of cash starts at the bottom, and it’s these people who inject the money into local businesses and community.

This was the thinking behind the fight to increase the minimum wage to $15, and while some cried bloody murder on that proposal, the wage increase is already showing to have positive effects in Seattle:

In Seattle last week, I stopped in at the jammed Palace Kitchen, flagship of Seattle restaurateur Tom Douglas, who runs upward of 15 establishments. He warned in April that the $15 wage could “be the most serious threat to our ability to compete,” and he predicted that “we would lose maybe a quarter of the restaurants in town.” Yet Douglas has opened, or announced, five new restaurants this year.

Likewise, the International Franchise Association has sued to block implementation of the law, arguing that nobody “in their right mind” would become a franchisee in Seattle. Yet Togo’s sandwiches, a franchise chain, is expanding into Seattle, saying the $15 wage isn’t a deterrent.

And a spokesman for Weyerhaeuser, the venerable wood and paper company, says the $15 wage didn’t factor into its decision, announced last month, to move its headquarters and 800 employees to Seattle from outside Tacoma.

Sounds legit to me.  After all, you can only eat so much cake before you get a tummy ache.

[Photo via our pal Devon]

Sidewalk horror haunts Pacman’s nightmares

Geez, where’s a power pellet when you need it?

What kind of jerk steals a service dog? [Updated: The answer is maybe nobody]

Seriously!  This is even worse than that time someone stole a cat from a homeless guy.  Hopefully this story has a similar happy ending.

UPDATE: Got an email from attorney Stacey E. Stillman…

It was voluntarily surrendered by an individual to a nonprofit organization that cares for dogs.  There were concerns about the dog placement with this individual.  The individual then filed a police report claiming it had been stolen and the police file is closed because the dog was not stolen.  The posters unfortunately continue.  We are concerned the story based on the false claims on the posters has gone viral and could endanger the dog which is now safe, and anyone who may be seen with the dog.  I am the attorney representing the organization to which the dog was surrendered.

[Photo]

What sort of ad campaign is Google filming in the Mission tomorrow?

Well, it’s going to have skateboards, and it’s for Google +, which of course fit together naturally like peanut butter and jelly, right?  And it’s going to be somewhere in the vicinity between 20th and 25th Street and Valencia and Harrison, which is actually a pretty damn big area to cover.  Oh, and there’ll also be some filming on that steep part of Liberty between Guerrero and Valencia, but no mention of skateboards for that part, so anyone hoping for some sick hill bombing is going to be quite disappointed.

Hmmm, Google + and skateboards?  That’ll get the millennials back.  Sure.

[Link, Link]

In Google bus we trust

Or you could go the “submit to our new antenna-bearing alien overlords” caption route if you were feeling cheeky.

This is NOT how you go about promoting your app

I received an email this morning that first made me do the double-facepalm, then made my blood boil the more I thought about it.  I’m posting it here in order to be instructive to future companies to never send anything like this again.  I’ve also omitted the name of the sender and the company he represents, only because I don’t want to completely destroy his life Peter Shih-style.

Hey Andrew,

I think your audience at MissionMission will really enjoy this release. Not only is ******** a cool app (I’m biased!) but it’s an awesome/inspiring use case they will be able to relate to.

Let me know what you think – I’m happy to tweak, expand, etc. as you see necessary.

Looking forward to hearing back!

-****

Press Release:

Neighbor Discovers Mission District Fire with San Francisco Only App ********

A Mission District man determines the cause for commotion and smoke to be the apartment fire through real-time images of the fire delivered by fellow Mission resident through community-driven mobile app ********.

SAN FRANCISCO, Jan. 29, 2015 — Last night, many residents of San Francisco’s Mission District were trying to determine the cause for the emergency vehicles and smoke at the onset of the Mission District apartment building fire. One resident, Jonathan W. took a unique approach and was quickly able to not only discover the cause but see the fire in action right on his phone. Jonathan connected with another San Francisco resident, Fritz S., using the app ******** to see what was happening at the heart of the emergency.

New app ******** let’s San Franciscans check out any place in the city, anytime with real-time help from another community member already there. Jonathan took advantage by asking what was happening at 22nd and Mission to cause the emergency. Another ******** member near the fire answered his question and posted a photo of the fire. This photo was then public in the app and quickly became the most upvoted post in San Francisco – quickly spreading awareness throughout the ******** community.

“The ******** community is awesome!” said ******** Cofounder ***. “Not only are people finding the top things happening in the city, knowing what the local weather is like, and finding out if their favorite restaurant is packed – community members are using the app to discover and share emergency situations that could potentially help save lives.”

Next time you need to see what’s happening at ground zero of an emergency – or if you just want to see what your favorite cafe, park, bar, or more look like right now – let the community at ******** help.

Folks, can we all agree that taking advantage of a disaster in order to promote your business is NEVER a good idea?  Seriously.

Andrew Sarkarati

Posts: 996

Email: andrew (at) missionmission.org

Website: http://soccerkarate.tumblr.com

Biographical Info:

Andrew likes pizza, videogames, and bicycles. He also plays drums in La Corde. His greatest contribution to mankind is Taco Thursday.