The first heatwave of Spring is officially upon us, and that means it’s time for another Bloody Marython! Join us this Sunday as we make the rounds through the Southside of the Mission, with plans to hit up the Attic, El Rio, Iron & Gold, and the Knockout! It better be a shitshow by the time we get to the end, so don’t disappoint!

We’re gonna start at the Attic at Noon, and you can follow any moves we make by checking out our Twitter. Also, don’t forget to tip well! See ya there! RSVP and invite your friends!

[Photo by Ariel]

Previously:

• Bloody Marython

We wrapped up our liquid brunch adventure at the Phone Booth in the capable hands of bloody maestro Chris Southgate, who calmly took in our order for 40 bloody marys with a smile and went to work.  Utilizing a recipe that included Guinness and horseradish in addition to the normal ingredients we’ve come to expect, Chris served us a simple drink without all the bells and whistles of some of the other bloodys but with a particular zest and freshness that hit the spot perfectly (while also administering an impressive yet cleverly disguised alcohol content).

Normally, the Phone Booth is a relaxing place where the sunlight trickles in through the open door just right and everyone can just sit back and sip the afternoon away.  Even though our growing and increasingly-inebriated group packed the place to the brim, Chris calmly mixed up drink after drink until we had all been served and satiated into a stupor.  A fitting end to our day of debauchery!

OMG look at that Barbie chandelier!

[Photos by Mike Chino]

Our first stop on the Sunday edition of the Bloody Marython, Thieves Tavern welcomed us with open arms, waffles, and enough bloody marys to sink a ship. Our bartender, J Beaman, hooked it up with the house specialty: a bloody complete with okra, celery, pickled carrots, green beans and a cucumber. As if that wasn’t enough, you had the option of making your bloody vegan if you asked nicely. In addition to the smooth Mary’s, complimentary waffles were being made right at the bar, just in case you were doubting your morning decision of purely drinking your lunch.

To make it interesting, towards the end of our stint at Thieves, barkeep J threw down the gauntlet and offered $1 shots of Jameson for five minutes only — that guy definitely knows how to get a crawl started on the right foot.

Rows and rows of delicious Bloody Marys.

As we threatened earlier this week, the MM Bloody Marython will recommence tomorrow at noon starting at Thieves Tavern on 14th Street by Guerrero.  We hope you join us for what definitely promises to be a shitshow.

After Thieves, we’ll traverse through several hundred scantily clad women shaking their ta-tas for Carnival towards our next stop at Pop’s on 24th by York.  From there, we’ll probably stop by the Phone Booth on S. Van Ness at 26th.   Unfortunately, Chelsea from the Attic is out of town this weekend and won’t be able to spoil us with her creativity and cheese cubes, but she hopes to be around for future tours.

Well, enough banter–see you tomorrow at noon!

[Photo by Mike Chino]

Facebook event page

Now that we can finally manage to look a bloody mary in the face again without experiencing severe nausea after all of that ridiculous indulgence during our initial foray, we figured it was time to get moving on round 2 of the Mission Mission Bloody Marython.  Last time we held the tour on a Saturday to provide us with plenty of time to recover the next day, but that unfortunately forced us to miss all of the bartenders who bring their bloody mary best on a Sunday!  Luckily, thanks to the upcoming 3 day weekend afforded by Memorial Day, this is the perfect opportunity to delve into their creations while still enjoying a buffer day of recovery.

So, please join us at 12 noon this Sunday for the next installment of the Mission Mission Bloody Marython.  We haven’t exactly solidified the route yet, but at the moment the idea is to hit up (in roughly this order):

• Thieves Tavern (14^th @ Guerrero) – home of the vegan bloody mary
• The Attic (24^th @ Mission) – tiny cubes of cheese!
• Pop’s (24^th @ York) – maybe we can get some BBQ too
• Phone Booth (26^th and S. Van Ness) – a dark horse contender
• Argus Lounge (Mission @ Valencia) – everyone keeps saying I need to try these

It will be a merry bloody mary fueled romp through the Mission, with a few nice walks in between for some exercise too!  Look, we even made a Facebook event page.  We’ll also probably post an update here when we finalize our route and schedule.  See you on Sunday at noon!

[Photo by Mike Chino]

Being the last stop on an all day Bloody Mary crawl is a little bit of a bum deal (hello drunk?), but Benders was able to hold it’s own with it’s now famous Slim Jim infused Mary.  You heard me right kids — a real life snackable meat stick conveniently settled next to the green beans and to the right of the straw, all for your noshing pleasure.  Delightful!

Besides having one of the best accoutrement’s on the tour, the Mary was quite delicious and drinkable.  Not too spicy, not too chunky, and the vodka-tomato ratio was just right.  According to the notes from some Crawlers, they’re huge fans of the horseradish addition, as well as the overall presentation of the drink, and of course, the Slim Jim.  We also received feedback stating that not only was Will a very capable and friendly bartender, but also very cute as well.  I don’t know if that affected the scoring or not, but hey, doesn’t hurt!

Overall, Benders, whether drinking Marys, taking whiskey shots or eating tots, is a great place to spend some time, make some new friends over rounds of drinks, and watch Arizona completely blow it against UConn in the Elite 8 (yes, I am still upset and no, I don’t want to talk about it).  Most importantly, get the Bloody Mary and snap into that Slim Jim.

Stop number 3 of the day was the newly renovated Zeitgeist and their classic Mary’s –they haven’t changed a bit, and apparently nor has the bars disdain for taking photos (my bad).

The thing I like about the Mary’s here is that they’re exactly what you think of when you think of a good ole bloody mary.  They’re refreshing, great balance of spice and heartiness, it really hits the spot after a night on the town.  As one Crawler put it, they’re “surly but good on a nice day”.  I second that one!

The bartender manning the shaker was a really nice dude, which is contrary to 98% of things you’ve heard about the bartenders at Zeitgeist, and he was good at his craft.  Very efficient, heavy on the vodka, no extra fluff necessary.  Bonus points for having Street Fighter 2  in the bar,  nothing makes me happier than good Marys and kicking some butt with Blanka.

[Photo by Mike Chino]

There’s a reason Elixir calls their weekend bloody mary special a “vodka salad bar”: at your disposal is a rack full of spices, a cabinet’s worth of sauces, and there’s nothing to stop you from shoveling a plate of pickled veggies into your pint. The historic saloon’s extensive spread of ingredients makes it the perfect stop for those looking for a liquid lunch in a glass or complete control over the minutiae of bloody mary mixology.

Suggested listening: Journey – Any Way You Want It

Every weekend Elixir rolls out a refrigerator’s worth of ingredients for its vodka salad bar, making it a bit of a mad scientist’s laboratory – the more exotic ingredients include pickled asparagus, Old Bay seasoning, and El Yucateco habanero death sauce. If you hate to cook, fear not – the bartenders will happily whip you up a majestic bloody mary and then set you free to garnish as you please.

We were staggered by the array of options at first, so we asked seasoned bartender Shea to show us some tips. He was kind enough to walk us through the steps of mixing up his “spicy-meaty” special, which perfectly balanced pickle brine with tomato juice, smoked chipotle hot sauce, and heaps of worcester, and horseradish. At the end of the day, Elixir’s mix of solid house-made cocktails and open-buffet versatility earned it high marks in the MM Bloody Marython.

Our first stop on the tour was also one of the most popular suggestions in the comments back when we posted about this ludicrous idea, and  the reason for this soon became apparent as the 500 Club steadily filled to capacity within minutes of our arrival.  Rachel, the resident bloody mary specialist, attracted quite a following and the cheerful patrons contributed to a raucous atmosphere despite the early hour.  By 12:30pm, it was almost like there was a party inside, and it was clear that many of patrons were regulars who made it a mission to visit every Saturday.

We had prepared for the event by specifically abstaining from breakfast because that’s the whole reason why a bloody mary exists in the first place (right?).  This was a wise decision, as Rachel’s bloody proved to be the ultimate “breakfast in a cup” and basically ended up being an alcoholic salad.  All manner of vegetables found their way into the mix: celery, pepperocinni, olives, pickled green beans, asparagus, and even okra (!!??!!), among others.  However, the real draw was of course the bacon, and not some thin wimpy bacon either, but a nice thick slab of crunchy on the outside and chewy on the inside sustenance-providing bacon that provided a solid absorbent for some of the early alcohol.

Also notable about Rachel’s bloody was the spiciness factor.  There was a solid kick of pepper to help rouse your senses and the zest of the vegetables and tomato disguised the taste of the copious amount of vodka in the drink.  Some commenters complained that this was spiciness for spiciness’ sake rather than for taste, but we didn’t find it to be too overwhelming.  Rachel also made use of what the Elixir bartender revealed was the secret ingredient, which was Old Bay spice, so aspiring bloody mary mixologists should keep that in mind for future concoctions.

In all, the 500 Club provided a solid start with what many felt was the best bloody mary in the city, and also managed to nourish us sufficiently before we continued on our tipsy journey.  There’s a real sense of community there every Saturday morning, and we could definitely see ourselves coming back here next week to join in on the fun again!

[Photo by Erika]

The first-ever MM Bloody Marython went down this past Saturday, and thanks to everyone who participated it ended up being quite a blast!  We started at noon at the 500 Club and proceeded to also stop at Elixir, Zeitgeist, and Bender’s, drinking one bloody mary at each bar.  Needless to say, things got a little sloppy towards the end, but we made sure to take copious notes in case we didn’t quite remember everything!

We utilized a methodical approach that featured scorecards consisting of several distinct categories such as taste, texture, spiciness, accoutrements, alcohol content, overall presentaton, and bartender.  These were filled out by everyone on the tour as well as by patrons who happened to be drinking bloody marys at each bar and wanted to get in on the action.  Indeed, mild cases of favoritism were apparent, as a few of the bartenders seemed to have their own fan clubs in attendance.

As such, you can’t rely on the numbers alone, but they help to qualitatively identify clear trends.  For instance, the 500 Club consistently got the highest scores for accoutrements (owing to the high quality bacon, among other exotic ingredients) and bartender, while Zeitgeist got low scores for bartender by remote judges even though those of us who actually showed up were pleasantly surprised by how polite ours turned out to be (even after I tried to mess with him by tossing a credit card onto the bar to pay for the drinks).

In the end the scores were super close and each version was separated by a mere point, with 500 Club coming in first followed by Elixir, Bender’s, and Zeitgeist.  But of course it’s all about the context, so be sure to read our little breakdowns for each spot:

500 Club

Elixir

Zeitgeist

Bender’s

Since we can’t so much as even look at a bloody mary right now without feeling queasy, we’ll need some time to recover before the next MM Bloody Marython, but keep your eyes peeled here and we’ll let you know when the Sunday edition is going down.  At the moment, we’re thinking Pop’s, Thieves, Dirty Thieves, Argus, and the Attic.  Thanks again to everyone who showed up and helped make this such an awesome time, and special thanks to all the bartenders for making such fantastic drinks and putting up with all of us!