Next Saturday Sunday, Dolores Park will get a big, messy game of Twister involving paint, water balloons and a group of folks looking to check something whimsical off their bucket list.

The event is being put on by Forward Motion SF, which describes itself as “the premier bucket listing group” and definitely not a singles club. The Facebook invite has more:

Remember playing a small game of twister with your friends? Being caught in strange positions. Pushing over your friends? Well, it’s time to bring it back!

We’re setting up a massive game of Twister in Dolores Park. It’s no ordinary game. We’ll have paint on each circle while people on the outside can throw water balloons and shoot squirt guns.

INVITE YOUR FRIENDS and lets make this the biggest game of messy twister ever played at Dolores Park!

WHAT TO BRING: Clothes you don’t mind getting dirty, any extra squirtguns and water balloons.

The sloppy party game kicks off at 11 a.m., Sunday, August 3rd, and attendees are invited to bring their own water balloons and squirt guns. There is also a $5 suggested donation, which I assume will go towards the purchase of paint. (Unclear.) The group also promises to “leave no trace” and they are looking for a few skilled squirters and a spinner.

Previous bucket list check-offs include: learning to hang glide, shooting a gun, hiking to Lands End, and building a 100-foot slip-n-slide in Dolores Park back in 2013.

[Tip of the hat to local free stuff aficionado Broke-Ass Stuart]

Listing to people passionately argue if Dolores Park is #dolo or #dopa

— Michael Margolis (@yipe) November 10, 2013

Lo-lee-ta: the tip of the tongue taking a trip of three steps down the palate to tap, at three, on the teeth. Lo. Lee. Ta. She was Lo, plain Lo, in the morning, standing four feet ten in one sock. She was Lola in slacks. She was Dolly at school. She was Dolores on the dotted line. But in my arms she was always Lolita.

- Nabokov (but you knew that)

P.S. On a side note, Nabokov actually references our Dolores in Lolita, when his protagonist, Humbert Humbert, remarks “Mission Dolores: Good title for a book.” And indeed it would have been for him.

Box Wars is an annual tradition in Dolores Park during which a bunch of folks make armor and weapons out of cardboard and proceed beat each other up in the name of recycling awareness (I think).

However, this one began a bit differently than the others… with a marriage proposal! After all, what’s more romantic than asking someone to marry you before clubbing them with a sword made out of toilet paper tubes? Here’s a vid:

Good for them, but we gotta know: was the ring made of cardboard? Because, you know, papercuts.

Also, check out this ancient suit of armor:

[via Box Wars]

Boy, you sure blew it by not ponying up $7 million to buy that crazy church-turned-house across from the park last year. Now it’s gone to a boring society-benefiting cause like education.

Don’t worry, your second chance may be on the way. Reclaimed-church mogul Siamak Akhavan (who also converted 601 Dolores), hopes to give a 4-unit residential makeover to the Second Church of Christ, Scientist on 20th and Dolores. Yes, the dome would be converted to a unit and good luck finding dome-friendly picture frames.

Fun fact: Christian Science has absolutely nothing to do with actual science.

More over at Curbed SF.

[photo via wallyg]

Late last night, some monocot-hater(s) sliced through the trunk of one of the palm trees near 20th and Church. Shortly after being discovered this morning, the damaged tree was deemed an immediate hazard and was taken down at around 2pm.

It almost looks as though the intention was to have the tree fall onto the tracks, as if the J-Church needs any more delays.

I can say from, err, personal field research, that the cops cleared everyone out of the park playground at midnight, so this probably happened after that unless these guys were super-quiet about it.

More info over at Dolores Park Works.

[photo via Dolores Park Works]

Reggae and grass: what a pair. I’m talking about the kind that you sit on in Dolores Park, of course, but I’m sure you won’t have any trouble finding the other kind while you’re there.

Tomorrow, some of SF’s finest purveyors of vintage rocksteady, ska, and early reggae 45s from the SF Vintage Reggae Society will be spinning in the park, live soundsystem style. We’re talking early reggae, folks. So you’re not gonna be hearing no Bob Marley’s Legend. No diss to that, but it’s not what all reggae sounds like.

2pm til the cops come. More on facebook. And here’s a cut to tide you over:

You might have heard that they had all of their laptops stolen a couple weeks ago, along with a lot of their work. We have an Indigogo campaign going to replace their equipment, and have been really touched with the support. They came back together and re-did the lost work, look for more of it rolling out over the net few weeks on the BAYCAT YouTube channel.

Looks like we just got some more lunch options at the park. This guy was spotted slinging slices, to which spectator wbtc remarked,

I’m not saying that selling slices of pizza in the park is a terrible idea, but Costco pizza, dude? Really?

Say what you will about Costco pizza (although I know people who swear by it), if he’s picking these up for $9.99 a pie, it’s clear that his business model is sound.

Now that the Costco seal has been broken, what’s next, microwave burritos, boxed corn dogs, and Otter Pops?

Update: P.D. Bird has more on the slice slinger:

Once [cold beer, cold water] got busted, this guy tried to sell “cold beer, cold water” and was warned (CBCW James never got a warning) for selling beer, the next day he showed up with Pizza and has been at it ever since. He is a nice enough guy, has a great brooklyn italian accent and even wears the vest and cook jacket that is in the photo. Costco pizza is what it is, but to have it delivered, without having to move/bike/walk anywhere is priceless at 2 pm on a saturday. I think this is great,and he even gives u credit if you are a park regular.

[via wbtc]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cj5Aa–TytI

Not sure who to call the winner. Looks like at least dogs prefer ketchup.

By the way, I know we just posted a commercial, but don’t think we’re on the take. It’s just a funny commercial.

That being said, I can tell you from personal, unbiased experience that Hidden Valley® brand ranch dressing truly is the world’s finest condiment for fries, steaks, and sushi. In fact, independent studies have shown that it can increase the intelligence in newborn babies if rubbed on the belly daily during pregnancy. Why don’t you live a little and make your dinner tonight a ranch-drizzled dinner? Hidden Valley® makes everything taste better™.

When it comes to your usual array of Dolores Park activity enthusiasts, you’ve got your hula-hoopers, your tightrope walkers, and the occasional acrobatic troupe which may or may not feature people walking on stilts.  And then you’ve got our pal Chris Kalani, who has a request for our readers:

Find me more people who can do this with me in the park.

As much as I would love to join him, there’s just no way I’d ever be able to attempt that unless a soccer ball was involved (and then I’d probably blow it anyway).  But there must be some of you out there!  I mean, we don’t want Portland to outdo the Mission!  C’mon, who’s up for some tricks in the park?

[Link]

Now here’s a set of pipes you can bring to the park without worrying about cops.

[photo by potential past]

Thankfully, satisticsandlies posted this stunning set of single line renderings of the park to cleanse your palate:

Isn’t nice to finally see a line in Dolores Park that doesn’t end in a port-o-potty?

Well, the first major Dolores Park renovation is done, and it just so happens to be the section of the park you’re probably too old to hang out in. This Saturday, check out the ribbon cutting event from 2-4pm.

True to Dolores Park form, there will be a performance with Shredder Hoops, a troupe of scantly-clad women demonstrating their flexibility with flaming hula hoops:

Live music will be provided courtesy of Orange Sherbert, a family-friendly band that writes rap songs about the benefits of eating locally-sourced sustainable seasonal vegetables (no I didn’t just make that up):

Oh, and there’s face painting, if you’re into that. I personally don’t care for it, after the unicorn-whose-head-looked-a-lot-like-a-dick incident of 1986.

[via Dolores Park Works]