Ketchup and ranch dressing bottles duke it out on the Dolores Park playground

Reader Beth sent in this delightful video of my two favorite fried potato dipping condiments settling the score on the Dolores Park playground today. Never has there been a more exciting food war!

The closeup on the ranch bottle at the end of the clip reveals that it’s probably part of Hidden Valley Ranch’s quest to become the “new ketchup,” but whatever, this totally made my day. In fact, I think I’m going to head over to Bender’s right now and eat some tots with ketchup and ranch dressing.

23 Responses to “Ketchup and ranch dressing bottles duke it out on the Dolores Park playground”

  1. Brock Keeling says:

    this is literally the best thing i have seen, ever.

    • Carmen Fabiola Lopez says:

      Me too! I would love to see bacon and butter fighting! that would be awesome!

  2. BFW says:

    I couldn’t get a good shot of it, but every time these guys ran onto the grass, all the dogs would chase them.

  3. stiiv says:


  4. Herr Doktor Professor Deth Vegetable says:

    I’m pretty sure they’re both just running from Mustard: King of Condiments.

  5. GG says:

    Looks like they are violating the rule prohibiting ADULTS WITHOUT CHILDREN from setting foot on the playground! GET THE PITCHFORKS!!!!

    • Ahsah says:

      Puhlease. The video obviously shows Ranch is playing vigilante and putting the responsibility of protecting the park from overage man children in his hands by socking ketchup in the squeezy parts. You should be thanking ranch.

  6. AK says:

    Gooooo ranch!

  7. Jawl says:

    I love how Ranch helps Ketchup up off the slide just to punch him.

  8. Tiny Tim says:

    Another step towards privatizing public spaces–with advertising posing as fun. Let’s bar them and make it Hidden Ranch and Don’t Catch Up.
    I’ve heard that soon kids frequenting the playground will be required to wear advertising patches on their shirts in order to gain admission. Doesn’t dolores mean “pain” in Spanish?
    Vaya con dolores.

  9. dave says:

    This is a frickin commercial.

    can we not get a second when someone isnt trying to sell us some crap…

    • aesthete and melancholic says:

      No we cannot.

      Hey, have you tried Miracle Whip? It’s a totes cool and hip alternative to boring old mayo.

  10. theloneliestmonk says:

    Sriracha kicks both their asses. Although adding Tabasco to ketchup will do in a pinch.