Peeing out the window of a moving Muni bus

Kelly Kate explains:


Baller move!

255 Responses to “Peeing out the window of a moving Muni bus”

  1. Reveler says:

    I looked at her Tumblr. That girl is straight up trash. Her family must be so proud.

    • batman says:

      yeah… but her boobs are nice.

    • Kat1344 says:

      Seriously, I feel bad for her family too. It must be sad to raise a kid and then have them going on and on about getting wasted and then defending herself after peeing out of a public bus.

      From the looks of her Tumblr, she seems proud of these sort of things. Using terms like ‘hoodrat’, ‘crimes’ and showing off a steady stream of her drinking. It’s somewhat atypical low brow humor of a lot of teenagers, but when I determined she is in her mid-twenties, it adds an additional layer of sadness to this story.

      Certainly staying away from the restaurant Weird Fish where she works. I can only assume she enjoying relieving herself in people’s food as well.

      Let’s hope with age she’ll gain some clarity that this isn’t funny or cool. Yucky girl she is, indeed.

      • Albert says:

        I doubt she gives a fuck about what you think of her, pretentious fuck.

      • fingerbinger says:

        Looks like she’s done some growing up. She completed one of those “scared straight” trail programs for delinquents and it seems to have changed her life for the better. She still seems awfully proud of her beer-smokes-n-condom escapades, but her hard time in an outdoor education prison alternative has at least found her a path in life.

        • Monstefacegreen says:

          Was definitely not “one of those “scared straight” trail programs for delinquents.” Backcountry Trails is a joint program between the California Conservation Corps and Americorps. Participants do pledge to stay sober, but that is because historically not staying sober lead to fights and backcounty babies. It is also nothing like an “outdoor education prison alternative,” a person can leave if they want. It is a job, probably one of the more difficult jobs a person could choose to do, and one that only around 3000 people in the world can say they have done.

  2. pushy says:

    No one pushed her out the window? Kids today, tsk tsk tsk…

  3. Bob Dole says:

    THIS Mission Mission, is essentially what is wrong with current day SF.

    • batman says:

      god.. i remember the days .. where you would not see a white person in the mission after dark :)

  4. MrEricSir says:

    I thought the windows were for smoking. Who knew they doubled as a toilet?

  5. En-Chu Lao says:

    She was nostalgic for winters back home in Greasewood City. When it was too cold to trek all the way out to the latrine, they’d open the shutters and take a quick slash.
    Now she’s in lockstep with the rest of the hicks who swagger around San Francisco pretending to be landed gentry.

  6. greg says:

    i can smell that skank from here

  7. Herr Doktor Professor Deth Vegetable says:

    Push that fucking disgusting carbuncle upon our society out that goddamn window.

    • Herr Doktor Professor Deth Vegetable says:

      If I was on a bus where someone tried to do something like this… Well, I’m not sure what I would do. I have trouble wrapping my head around the idea that someone who wasn’t completely fucking insane would do something like this.

    • Herr Doktor Professor Deth Vegetable says:

      Actually, her blog features pictures of her peeing out of a 3rd story window, too. Push her out of that one instead, it’s more likely to put a permanent end to this problem.

      • whoa says:

        you need a life partner dude.

        • Herr Doktor Professor Deth Vegetable says:

          Yeah, you’re right. I gotta apologize, that was beyond the pale. To be clear, I do not actually advocate capital punishment for peeing out a window.

          It’s wicked gross, and extremely anti-social, but not actually deserving of either being pushed out a window or even pummeled. Really, in the light of day/soberness, I must admit that really I think it is deserving of being yelled at and having the police called on you. Not, y’know, that they’re gonna get there quickly enough to do anything. But still, worth a shot.

          • pushy says:

            Actually, if she disregards the commonly accepted social behaviors, such as not peeing in public (let alone out a bus window) why do we have to adhere to the socially acceptable rule of not pushing her out the bus window? Noting that this is a repeated offense, I think pushing her is perfectly acceptable.

          • Py says:

            I think pushing her out of the window would be ok. I wouldn’t want her to die just a slight maim would be ok. Peeing out of a moving bus is not something I’d be too happy to hear my daughter or sister had been up to.
            I wonder if she shits in the corner of shoe shops or masturbates at the back of the church. Hmmm.
            Infact this may be the same girl I saw changing her sanitary towel at the Starbucks checkout yesterday – yes now I look I’m pretty certain.

          • Fluid Dynamics says:

            girl pee is not gross – you might be gay, dude.

  8. Matthew says:

    Is that supposed to be hot?

  9. wrybread says:


    Predictable haters are predictable.

    • Herr Doktor Professor Deth Vegetable says:

      Why, you think peeing out the window of a bus is OK? Because, if so? You suck.

    • Bob Dole says:

      I for one, hope that you’re on the receiving end of whatever she has to dish out the day your paths happen to cross.

    • TonyJoe says:

      So a hater is someone that objects to any fucking stupid behavior? What if this was a homeless/crackhead/mental person pissing out of the bus? Would you still think that this is okay to do? I guess it’s okay when a trashy ass hipster is doing it for the sole sake of putting it on her blog.

    • chris says:

      To say that everyone not responding with positive amusement to her behavior is enabling her. In fact, wrybread, I am accusing you of being a passive aggressive bully if you would allow her to put herself in harm’s way to this degree. This was a moving bus for Christ’s sake!

      If she fell out of the bus she could have been seriously hurt. If I saw her I would have held on to her. It is quite clear to anybody over the age of 35 that she is in desperate need of help.

  10. your mom says:

    God I cannot stand this fucking girl. GROW THE FUCK UP KELLY KATE. High school days are over and you look like a damn fool. Pathetic.

  11. scum says:

    Girl is getto.

  12. NotFdUp says:

    She pretty much personifies Occupy assholes!

    • how does this even relate?

    • Herr Doktor Professor Deth Vegetable says:

      Wait, is this Opposite Day or something?

      Because otherwise, bullshit behaviour like that is about from the over-arching sense of increased social responsibility that is endemic in the Occupy movement as you can possibly get.

    • davey d says:

      How dare you disrespect the Occupy Movement with that comparison? You obviously know nothing about it… stop making uneducated errors & you might learn something & hopefully make a difference in this world.

  13. Reveler says:

    Also, can we talk about how she’s peeing through her tights?! She’s going to then continue to wear them around, at least long enough to get where she’s going?


  14. scum says:

    I can’t imagine the kind of guys that would have sex with that.

  15. yeah says:

    What is the deal? This is like someone inside joke, right? The rabbit hole goes deep on this one – my head is aching. I’m going back to sleep. FUCK

  16. mosquito says:

    Classy as fuck.

  17. Rebecca says:

    Dirty ass! How disgusting!!

  18. SFSquee says:

    Just plain sad… and as with breaking most commonly accepted social behaviors in SF most people just ignore. At least stop the bus and kick her off.

  19. Al pal says:

    Um wow is every1 who comments this site 50 yrs old or what
    You guys r just mad u didnt think of this 1st~~ ;)

  20. trixie says:

    unless she has a giant hole in her stockings, or her stockings are assless and crotchless, what she really just did was pee all over herself.

  21. 1 says:

    The real reason you guys are pissed is because this girl used to be hot.

  22. aempirei says:

    she looks kinda hot

  23. skullcaster says:

    put MS13 in charge of the mission, they’ll turn that ho out… it woulda been really way rad if some homeless rapist stuck red hot crackpipes and dirty syringes up her anal cunt while she was hangin out the window, hell maybe even a prolapsed colon around the axle or string her up from the power line, lolz i don’t miss the fucking mission

    • ELO_Kiddie says:

      This says so much more about you than it does about her.

    • davey d says:

      Skullcaster, you sound like yet another douchebag transplant who may have (at one time) hung-out in the Mission… but you’re not good for the City. I request that you be banned from SFC. You ain’t ‘hood or else you’d know that MS13 isn’t welcome in the Bay Area. Move back home!!!

      • skullcaster says:

        I definitely already did move back home. That city wasn’t good for me. I proudly accept your ban. SF is a little bubble of privilege full of elitist twats. MS13 whizzed bullets by my face. I don’t give a fuck about being “hood” or any other gangsta faggot bullshit. They used to store handguns and smoke cocoa puffs on my stoop. Between 16th and 20th on Mission is the greatest collection of crack/meth/heroin zombies I have ever witnessed, and if they all caught ebola and vomited blood all over the nice polite white liberal cyberyuppie (tumblr hipsters) gentrifying scum, it would give me a little chuckle.

        • skullcaster says:

          ANd furthermore, FUCK NORPUTOS and NGO SCUM!

          • skullcaster says:


          • Herr Doktor Professor Deth Vegetable says:

            You’re not very smart, are you?

          • skullcaster says:

            herr doktor, no i’m not particularly smart but hey at least i’m not the mission rapist. the best part really is that i haven’t lived there since 2007. fuck that hole hood.

          • skullcaster says:

            i mean really who gives a shit whether it’s a dumb hipster bitch pissin out a bus window or the usual army of homeless, THAT WHOLE CITY REEKS OF PISS and no “black pr” agency can fix that

  24. Shit Matrix says:

    This is hot, and really nothing to get all upset about.

  25. 2 says:

    This shit is turning into some serious 4chan type shit.

  26. manymachines says:

    From the tumblr it looks like peeing out a window is this girl’s go-to move.

    I had a bunch more to say about this, but on second thought I deleted it because that sort of speaks for itself.

  27. No fish today says:

    This is my kind of lady.

  28. Entitlement says:

    You see her? That’s the face of entitlement.

    • chris says:

      That’s what I was thinking. I referred to her as the living embodiment of Billie Holiday’s, “Summertime”.

  29. yeahokay says:

    Disgusting. BUT, who says she’s not just stickin her butt out the window, no pee is involved, and she’s trollin’ all of us?

    • greg says:

      i doubt the skank believe any of the shit she blogs about

    • EH says:

      That’s an interesting trolling strategy, “Ha ha, made all you squares think I was a disgusting attention-whore ten inches away from being a person who pees *inside* the bus.”

      “Hobo or hipster?” indeed.

  30. Really guys 53 comments for public peeing…glad to see where the Mission’s politics are. Hello..THERE IS AN EXCALIBUR SALE.

  31. EF Hutton says:

    Hey who hasn’t wanted to take a massive piss while travelling on Muni?

    Basically there are two schools of thought on this:

    1. Wow I’ve always been afraid to do this and I admire those that don’t have that fear. You go girl!

    2. (those usually over the age of 15) Wow there are others around me who might not want to see this, get sprayed by this, or have clean this up. I should acknowledge their existence.

    It just goes to show that growing up is something most of us don’t want to do and some of us don’t have to do.

  32. rod says:

    it’s nice to see how eager you guys are to accommodate a cry for attention.

  33. prince says:

    1. hand out pointy darts at bus stops.
    2. paint points on the ho’s ass and chain her in the window like that.

  34. Nosmo King says:

    I’m stinkin’ up the train –
    Just stinkin’ up the train!
    I’m fartin’ on BART — gettin’ smelly again.
    I’m laughin’ at cops who say I must go –
    Got an ass full of gas
    And it’s ready to blow.

  35. Cynthia says:

    Gross. Throw a baguette out the window, but I am so, so tired of people’s pee and poop in the streets. Go away.

  36. carlos. says:

    keepin’ the streets dirty, that’s wassup!

  37. SimonSays says:


  38. damian says:

    has anyone seen the homeless person who (sometimes) sleeps at the corner of 16th/valencia(i think its a “she”)defecates at the bus stop..smelly;gross..then pulls(her?)pants up u-u-u-u-u-u-u-ughhhhhh!!!..does it quite often

  39. GG says:

    Do kids today really have no idea that shit they put on the internet (like face-identifiable photos of them doing drugs, peeing in public, etc.) will pretty much be there FOREVER no matter how much effort they put into trying to erase it? I’m sure a potential employer 20 years from now will really enjoy finding this on whatever future version of Google successfully commercializes face-recognition technology for photos.

    • That’s why I say, “Let then call you an anonymous coward all they want, but never let them see your legal name or your face.” It simply is not worth it but, sadly, it seems to require an older and wiser head to see that.

    • ELO_Kiddie says:

      Ha ha! There aren’t going to be any jobs twenty years from now.

  40. Fuck it says:

    Talk about Bridge and Tunnel trash. She probably takes her pee stained clothes back to the Parents in Novato to wash them. Funny, maybe, Sad, definitely.

  41. Me says:

    Well, I guess we found the Mission Rapist… could very well be any of you.

  42. Herr Doktor Professor Deth Vegetable says:

    Kellykate is a bad person.

  43. GinGin says:

    People who anonymously threaten/condone physical harm and rape via blog comments are even worse.

  44. You know me. says:

    1. Its hilarious that dumb people like her don’t realize that advanced facial recognition technology already exists and is already available on google and to employers. Its only going to get better.

    2. Its sad that SHE has commented on this post 4 or 5 times under a dumb name just to defend herself because she’s addicted to drama and attention. RIGHT, Herr Doktor Professor Deth Vegetable? Next time don’t use your real email address. Anywaydoe

    3. She is a compulsive liar and manipulates facts in her deluded head. Oh honey. You can’t post that you have your own residence, health insurance, and hundreds of dollars left over per month to buy your friends dinner, and then a week later post about how you’re poor, don’t have health insurance, and can’t afford anything. EVERYONE notices this and talks about it behind your back. Pretty sure she’s already on the road to crazy and loving the attention along the way. I mean, defend it any way you’d like. All publicity can be good publicity… when you’re actually going somewhere or doing something.

    4. This girl is going no where fast. Mid-twenties dropout who job hops every couple months. Honey the dropout part isn’t the problem. Just find something you want to do with your life. Please. Then you won’t resort to “crimes” to pass the time, lulz

  45. Kelly Kate says:

    Hi Guys,

    Thanks for all the sweet thoughts and kind words, it really does mean a lot.

    Let me start off with this:

    This is PEE we are talking about, people, PEE. Clearly urine is a topic worthy of 86 comments, countless threats of rape, maiming, and murder, and it is not at all in the least a tiny bit ABSOLUTELY FUCKING INSANE for you people to freak the fuck out because some girl went ahead PEED somewhere.

    I left the comment earlier about one of you sick fucks likely being the Mission Rapist, besides that, I’ve left my commentary to my own blog, but I’ll throw you folks a bone to chew on and engage. I know you like nothing more than the chance to build yourself up by putting someone else down.

    You people are serious ENRAGED that some little girl went and peed out a bus window? This does not effect you AT ALL. Unless you were running alongside the 33 MUNI and happened to walk into my pee, I cannot understand how you would think this has anything to do with your life. You wanna talk about entitlement? How about the fact that you people are so convinced that the world revolves around you that you freak the fuck out over a picture of a stranger PEEING.

    The fact that your comments jumped from simple disgust, which I admit is justifiable, to threats of violence, sexual abuse, etc, and included plenty of name calling, ripping apart of my character, labeling me as both a slut and then calling me “ugly” means nothing besides the fact that you are insecure, shallow morons who have nothing better to do than talk down and threaten others to boost your own self-importance.

    Trying to out-bro each other by threatening physical harm to a little girl… Does that make you feel like real men? I mean, the one of you who actually dares to rape and murder me totally wins in this game, right?

    You people are sick, stupid, and should be ashamed of yourselves.

    Whether or not on New Years I decided to do something totally harmless, and by most opinions, hilarious, does not make me a “skank” or “slut,” it doesn’t make me “stupid,” or “dirty,” or worthy of murder. Does it make me an attention whore? Maybe. Does it make me reckless? Yes. Does it really effect you, at all? NO.

    Here’s the facts. On NYE I was on a packed 33 home with a bunch of friends. Next stop wasn’t for a good 15 minutes, and was on Haight Street, where there are no public bathrooms. I was drunk, joking with friends, and decided to pee out a bus window. I did not pee on the bus, on myself, or on anyone else. I hoped up, lowered my panties and tights, peed out the window onto the street, and pulled my tights back on.

    So yes, a cup of my urine is now somewhere on the street in Ashbury Heights. I AM NOT SORRY, AND IF I COULD DO IT AGAIN, I’D PISS ON YOUR FUCKING DOORSTEP.

    There are few things more pathetic than a bunch of scared little boys calling a girl who would never give them the time of day otherwise an “ugly whore” online when she does something that doesn’t fit into their chauvinist concept of lady like behavior. I will not apologize for giving less fucks than all you whiney, uptight little shits and I am not sorry for doing harmless, albeit stupid, pranks for the laughs.

    As for the insane stalker who has migrated here from my blog to blabber on again about how I’m such a disaster – I’m glad you get so much satisfaction in your childish, bizarre fixation on trying to make me feel bad. I promise you that no one cares about any of this nearly so much as you do.

    I work in the Mission and I deal with all you lousy, pretentious fucks every fucking night. I watch you drink too much and piss and vomit all over the bathrooms of the bars you frequent, I watch you stumble down Valencia pissing in the streets while cat-calling at girls, and I watch you disrespect the servers, bartenders, and other service people who cater to you as you “live it up” in the Mission. You can point fingers at me for being “disrespectful” or “trashy” but nothing I do comes close to how you animals behave when you’re not spewing senseless hate on the internet.

    Stop pretending that this has ANYTHING to do with whatever stupid bullshit I do because you people give not a single shit about anything besides the sound of your own self-righteous whining on the internet. Your threats of rape and murder are petty attempts to feel like “big men” and not the pathetic, scared little shits who waste hours spewing hate online… anonymously, because god forbid you own up to your opinions.

    I’m not fucking sorry, and I’m far more ashamed that I live in a city where senseless, violent threats on a neighborhood blog are considered acceptable than I am for peeing out a fucking bus window. 

    I may be young, and I may do dumb shit sometimes for the laughs, but at least I’m not “mature and wise” enough to slander a young woman for a petty crime and suggest violence as punishment. 

    You people are sick.

    I’m done responding, but the moment any of you acts on all this talk of physically harming me, I swear to fucking god I will make you rue the day you thought it was ok to joke about rape.

    • Herr Doktor Professor Deth Vegetable says:

      As noted elsewhere: I was absolutely wrong the argue for you to be pushed out of a window. It was over the line, and I apologize.

      But you’re still a horrible person.

      • Herr Doktor Professor Deth Vegetable says:

        Also, it’s hilarious to see someone who pees out the window of a public bus accuse other people of being “sick”.

        • Ariel says:

          yeah, because, you know, anyone who pees out a bus window is a real monster….wait…what.

          • Herr Doktor Professor Deth Vegetable says:

            Yup. Anyone who pees out of a bus window is a revolting anti-social lesion on society.

        • Fluid Dynamics says:

          She handed you punks your pathetic asses, and she’s right. I hate this blog and most of you milktoast sheep. That’s why I read it. I absolutely abhor people like you, Dok, and hope you take your own life. That was not a threat.

          • Herr Doktor Professor Deth Vegetable says:

            Awww, you’re too sweet! Always happy to hear from another of my fans.

            Remember, kids: Stay in School!

    • haha says:

      lmao well this just PROVES you peed out the bus (among other attention-seeking things) purely for attention since you obviously care so much about what random strangers think about you.

    • jon says:

      Why do you get so upset when someone doesn’t laugh at your “jokes” on twitter (by “taking them seriously”) yet a couple random people you’ve never met make a joke based on your sad behavior and you go all batshit on twitter and on here about it? The funny part is that the jokes these dudes made sound exactly like the “jokes” you make all the time. lol biggest hypocrite ever. You are entertainment for days.

    • scum says:

      Forget the bus, she’s on the crazy train.

    • greg says:

      ha ha

    • mosquito says:

      How fucking young are you? You keep using that as an excuse, but if you’re older than 14, peeing out of bus windows is neither funny nor cool. Congrats on being a classless defensive kid.

      xoxo, a 21 year old female mission native.

    • Reveler says:

      Also, 23, 24 year old people are not “little girls”. They’re grown women who should know better than to act like trash.

      But you’re not just “acting” like trash, are you?

    • your mom says:

      It’s not rape if you’re willing Kelly Kate.

    • Warns says:

      You’re the one spreading your probably heavily disease ridden bodily waste around on our sidewalks and WE’RE the sick ones? Oh gosh, go back to Wisconsin or wherever it is you came to san francisco to get CRAAAAAZY from.

    • Chocolate Starfish says:

      Hey there Ms. Self Affected Asshole. Just wanted to say your blog sucks and the pedantic hipster-victim routine is fucking weak. Okthxbye.

    • ELO_Kiddie says:

      Good Lady,

      Would thou doest me the honor of becoming my wife?

    • jim x says:

      + 1 gazzillion.

      People need to lighten up with the poutrage.

    • Sadie says:

      Let me just clarify Kelly Kate:
      It’s not the peeing that makes me want to taunt you. It’s the fact that you are completely fucking stupid.(see blog)
      It was just my misfortune to have been led to you by this pic.
      Sorry that you suck at life, and must drown out the sorrow so heartily. Clearly mommy and daddy fucked up and now you have to feel it.
      But really, did you think people would refrain from giving you a world of shit, when you eagerly seek out the attention yourself? This is fodder for our ridicule! Most people will make fun of you if given the chance.
      That’s all. Lol.

  46. Kelly Kunt says:

    Kelly — wake the fuck up. You’re out of control. This has nothing to do with age. You’re out of control.

    • Wello says:

      She needs to lay off the coke and whippets. That shit makes moods swing and turns her into a raging bitch. That is why she got fired from The Summit a couple months ago. Her boss saw all her coke and whippets tweets and fired her.

      Who is actually dumb enough to tweet that under her name with her picture? Who actually tweets pictures of themselves doing drugs at age 25? Who brags about illegally destructing private property and then posts pictures of doing so all the time? Seriously, REALITY CHECK YOURSELF, Kelly Kate Warren.

      - Well

  47. Merla says:

    I will pee on her couch. She’ll think it’s cool. Because she’s not uptight about that sorta thing.

  48. olivia says:

    this is stupid it’s peeing shut up with the rape jokes everybody get off the internet jesus calm down

  49. andrew says:

    i might think this was cool if i hadn’t met this girl in real life.

  50. manymachines says:

    “I look at people peeing out the window, and all I see is dollar signs.” — Allan

  51. sad says:

    This thread + her Twitter feed is an interesting view into what complete self-destruction looks like. I understand why she’s not afraid of anyone on the interwebs because she’s doing a fine job destroying herself.

    • GG says:

      Not to be the adult here (sorry) but it’s true, living in SF sometimes makes it seem like blackout binge drinking is a normal thing to do regularly, and not a sign that you have a problem — but just looking at her Tumblr posts and the number of times she mentions and/or expresses regret about violent and dangerous behavior that she barely remembers is alarming. Just pointing this out in case people identify with her stories as being the norm.

  52. Tony says:

    But why does she keep referring to herself as a little girl?

  53. GG says:

    I’m not defending some of the inappropriate comments above, but I *DO* think it’s interesting that someone who is aghast that people are “serious ENRAGED that some little girl went and peed out a bus window” posted on her own blog just yesterday bragging that she was part of a group who had ganged up and “beat the living shit out” a guy who “repeatedly groped” her friend.

    As a woman, a feminist, and someone who would not flinch before slitting the throat of any man who legitimately attacked me, I am mortified that anyone would think it’s acceptable to form a group and “beat the living shit” out of someone for inappropriate touching — especially someone ranting about violence!

    Appropriate responses, IMHO: Have your friends restrain him while you call the cops. Turn around immediately and pepper spray him or kick him in the balls. Yell loudly, “HEY THIS GUY IS GROPING ME!” But rounding up your friends to gang up on him after the fact and pummel him senseless? A totally disproportionate and inappropriate response.

    • been there says:

      I was there when the fight you’re talking about happened. I know that a lot of stuff has been said and maybe some of it is true, but that incident went nothing like you’re suggesting.

      A drunk man was repeatedly harassing Kelly and another girl outside a bar, and after about ten minutes of giving warning, he grabbed the girl, she pushed him away, and he swung at her. There was no gang of people. It was two small girls holding their own against a man who was on something and would not stop fighting them. They fucked him up because he continued to attack them.

      It ended when me and three other guys came outside and were able to intervene. He was on something and didn’t quit attacking until four men and two girls were able to restrain him. He was never “pummeled senseless.”

      For a woman and a feminist, you sure sound like everyone else here. Taking shots at someone you don’t know. And claiming that a woman has no right to defend herself against an attacker is almost as bad as all the people who’ve been talking about raping and murdering a girl because she peed out a bus window.
      You’re the one who should be ashamed.

      • GG says:

        “that incident went nothing like you’re suggesting”

        I wasn’t suggesting anything — I was quoting from her own description on her blog. What you’re describing is a completely different scenario than the one she described, and the one I was reacting to.

  54. Six-Two says:

    Haha, I’ve met this girl; let me tell you about her. She blew me one time and asked me not to tell anyone. A real pro, I tell ya. This one time, we got it on in my ’64 Impala and she graciously allowed me finish in her throat. Now, as a pimp, I got to know her quite well, but did you know she is actually bi? This one time, she went down on her best friend, and then I drove them to the mall and left them there. She’s been trying to page me recently, but I don’t like spending time with her anymore. F’real.

  55. kelly kate warren says:

    this post confirms she’s a normal person and that we are the crazy ones.

    • kevinmonty, u ho!

      Seriously, is there even a world, aside from the one occupied by the crazy woman who collects garbage and dances at 16th & Mission, early in the morning, where any of this shit is a controversial issue?

  56. Mission(Impossible) says:

    Please get it together, Kelly Kate.

    Reading your blog, you’re obviously intelligent, capable of flights of wit and charm, and physically attractive. You’ve got passion. Those qualities all deserve recognition.

    Yet they are utterly wasted on a dead-end job, drug-and-alcohol use, and violence. Oh, I’m sure you can breezily rationalize these life choices. You can pick apart these objections or coolly dismiss them. Whatever, Kelly Kate. You’re too old to believe your own bullshit.

    Figure out what you really want in life and work towards getting it. Stay away from drugs, blackouts, and bar-fights. Piss in a goddamn toilet. My God. By abstaining from these things, it’s not like you’ll turn into a stroller-pushing thirtysomething in Noe.
    You live in San Francisco; You have so many so many choices. No more excuses.

    • dork says:


      The thing that bugs me the most about the blogging of certain Missionites is the belief that their lifestyle is the one and only way to not be a sell-out in your 20s. Newsflash, guys. I’ve been perfectly capable of being a pothead, occasionally drinking far too much and occasionally doing drugs without documenting it online for everyone to see/judge and while working my ass off towards a respectable creative career which won’t make me rich, but which will give me a future.

      Kelly Kate talked about not having any female friends because they all do coke in bathrooms while whining about being fat and talking trash, do whippets and get kicked out of bars, and piss themselves on the sidewalk while sobbing hysterically. It’s like she doesn’t realize that there are actually people out there who are not batshit crazy. I’ve never been more grateful that my circle of friends barely overlaps with hers and Janebook’s and the rest.

  57. Stu says:

    I have never seen more bullshit come through MissionMission in my days visiting this blog. Some of you really need your soapboxes smashed. And some of you Mom and Dad types really need children of your own or a real hobby. ALL of you know-it-all’s need to focus your life elsewhere. As for Kelly Kate, I feel like she won this battle in my opinion. She’s probably out pissing on something else having a laugh while some of you can’t wait to spew more bullshit across you keyboards. Including me. Goodnight.

  58. Jahaira M says:


    People need to quit taking shit too seriously and find a hobby.


  59. Kwilt Kate says:

    I’m doing lines right now while kwilting, bitches. I’m so mad.

  60. Kwilt Kate says:

    LOL im so phunny!

  61. Mesocosmic says:

    Thank you so much for helping to make riding MUNI such a goddamned pleasant experience.

  62. Warns says:

    I hope any guy or gal that would ever think of dating her sees this and realizes what a 3 year old she’d be dealing with. This is totally gross and not adorable, I’d have kept pushing her out if it was my bus.

  63. Warns says:

    Also, what a rebelllll you’re so youuunnnggg and hiiiipppp.

  64. sveyden says:

    reminds me of the time I saw a guy taking a dump out of a bus window. I told my friend, “I’ll smack his face, you grab his cigar”. I’ll never forget the look on his face when he actually grabbed it…

  65. Chocolate Starfish says:

    Oh look a cooler than thou hipster pissing all over our public transportation. Fucking awesome. You are really showing the man!

  66. Happy Gilmore Inc says:

    As an attorney representing Happy Gilmore, Inc., I must ask that you cease and desist from any and all future behaviour that may water down the Happy Gilmore Brand and confuse the motion picture attending public. Future depictions of public urination or defecation for the purpose of OMGs, LOLs, or WASCUR will be viewed as copyright infringement and will be pursued in court. You may contact our agency if you wish to sell us your life story, but I’m pretty sure we already made that movie. Thank you.

  67. GG says:

    So now that this post has been Boing Boing-ed, has it become the most-commented-upon MM article of all time?

  68. Mike says:

    Looked at her Tumblr. She is a confused and very angry little girl.

    Expressing herself to society in a very trashy way is not the method to choose to secretly ask for help. Then again, she “doesn’t give a fuck”. …yet.

  69. Mrs Lovejoy says:

    Won’t someone *please* think of the children???!!!!

  70. Robert Pulson says:

    One more reason it rules to be a guy. Much easier to piss out of a moving vehicle.

  71. Maricón says:

    anyone who hasn’t pissed in a public place needs to do it right now.

  72. Voice of reason says:

    What, are we forgetting that if a homeless man did this, we’d all be totally disgusted and up in arms about it. It doesn’t take much to be young and dumb but think that you’ve got the world on a string because you have friends who laughed when it happened and are getting attention about it from all over the Internet.

  73. Ariel says:

    i’ve never thought this city was as fucking lame as i do right now. i highly recommend embracing apathy when it comes to stupid shit that does not matter.
    i’d tell you to go to a truly gritty city where there are real problems and no one gives two fucks about who pisses where, but instead i’ll just tell you to take a nice long walk down sixth street. tell me piss is the most terrifying body fluid you come across down there.
    she might be trash, but she’s a fuck of a lot smarter than all of you.

  74. Sadie says:

    Classy girl. No really, she is ridiculous. She will look back years later and feel gross, or she will just be drunker, in which case she will look grosser than she does now. The only time this peeing thing is acceptable is when it’s the middle of the night, in the middle of nowhere and the driver aint stoppin for nothin or no one. Not a look-at-me moment. But since I did this once, in India, on a speeding bus, (it was that or pee myself and sit in it for hours) I will say: it was refreshing.

  75. Sadie says:

    Oh hahaha! I just perused, didn’t read the long ass rant of said Kelly kate girl, yes, she doesn’t see it as a big deal, and it really isn’t, but this is the same kind of girl that will wonder why guys never want her for more than a booty call. “Like, why don’t they ever bring me home to meet the folks and how come I never get to go out with his friends?” Cuz you are a ditz, KK that’s why. Hahahahaha! Love it. The young. If you have a bf KK, hang on tight, clearly his beer goggles are workin’ for ya.

    • Ariel says:

      luckily for kelly kate, she lives in 2012 where “catching a man” isn’t her reason for living. you should join us, it’s nice here in the post feminist era.
      trust me, kelly kate has never once asked why the boys don’t take her home to meet mom.

      • Sadie says:

        Never said it was a reason for living, and it’s good that she isn’t because she won’t. She will probably catch a lot of other things though with her cooter hanging out on MUNI. hahahaha! You guys crack me up..

        • Ariel says:

          Last I checked you can’t “catch” anything just by taking your pants down but I’m no doctor.

          • Sadie says:

            Just give up Ariel. There’s nothing you can say to defend your blowfaced skanky girlfriend. We love to hate her. End of story.

  76. manymachines says:

    > [~]>whois

    somebody get on this.

  77. King Neptune. says:

    I’m in love.

  78. planet dragontit says:

    Kelly needs an intervention the next time she pees out of another window. Just another trashed jewish girl lost in the mission, looking to make her big break anyway she can. This is it.

  79. SPEED VOMIT says:

    she’s hot. she’s annoying but she’s hot.

    she stole my heart when she lit a fag with her tazer

  80. MrJM says:

    When you treat your community like a toilet, 
    you should not be surprised your community treats you like a turd.

    – MrJM

  81. sue says:

    what IS it with San Francisco and public displays of bodily functions…we were on Haight Street shopping the week before Christmas and some dude was taking a DUMP right on the street…I’m talking IN THE STREET, in broad daylight!

  82. Sweet T says:

    Comment #183 on this post.

    Hey Allan, what’s the record number of comments for a single post on Mission Mission?

  83. MadameHeadshots says:

    And people wonder why I’m irrationally afraid of the cleanliness of seats on the bus……BECAUSE PEOPLE PUT THEIR FUCKING PEE TIGHTS ALL OVER THEM. Not enough antibacterial wipes in the world to get that smell out. I can’t imagine that was the first time that night she peed through those tights.
    I think I’m going to burn all of my tights now…I don’t think I can get the imagery out of my head….I feel so unclean.

  84. scum says:

    And you know she didn’t wipe after either.

  85. Adam says:

    Thats hilarious.

    From the uptight just plain angry responses, you would think this was in the middle of the Bible Belt. People need to direct their rage toward something that actually matters.

    • Herr Doktor Professor Deth Vegetable says:

      Like pissing out a bus window.

      • Adam says:

        Right.. some random girl pissing out of a bus window as a joke rates very high on the list of world problems. Cause before we know it we’ll have to start wearing raincoats to protect ourselves from all the pissers, run for the hills!!

        • Herr Doktor Professor Deth Vegetable says:

          The anti-social mindset necessary for, and represented by, pissing out of a bus window? Absolutely. That ranks extremely high on the list of the world’s problems. I am glad we’re on the same page.

          • Adam says:

            “The anti-social mindset necessary for, and represented by, pissing out of a bus window? Absolutely. That ranks extremely high on the list of the world’s problems.”

            Wow, its not often you come across that degree of bull-shitting. You would make a damn fine Republican presidential candidate.

          • Herr Doktor Professor Deth Vegetable says:

            Ahh, the sweet sound of denial.

          • Adam says:

            Exactly, denial of your bull shit. Glad to see we finally are on the same page.

          • Herr Doktor Professor Deth Vegetable says:


        • Sadie says:

          It’s not about the piss entirely. It’s about the principle and the fact that this grown woman is being a douche. Self respect leads to universal respect. It’s not hot, it’s not okay, and it would be really great if poor little KK could learn a lesson here and get her shit together in 2012!

          • Herr Doktor Professor Deth Vegetable says:


          • GinGin says:

            It seems like you’re vying for a membership in the Grown Women Being Douches club with the number of degrading comments you’ve made about a girl you don’t know. Shut up.

          • Sadie says:

            KK degraded HERSELF. hahaha! That’s what’s so funny about all this. She wants to be gross, and hates herself, so why is it wrong to agree? You shut up! I know you won’t. This has been fun, but I have more important things to do, like poop in a movie theater and do blow off my Bestie’s pockmarked tit. Bye, see you in the Mission. I’ll bring you some toilet paper.

  86. I go to AA here in San Francisco, I can’t wait to tell this story. She could have won a Darwin award. Lots of meetings in the Mission for People like me that love beer and other drinks.

  87. Neil says:

    I’ve only partied in SF about a dozen times in my life and can’t recall a time when I didn’t have to drain the main vein in an alley or some other inappropriate place in the city. Sorry, nature calls and that city just isn’t properly equipped to handle it.

  88. Haggie says:

    Someone’s father clearly did not give her enough attention…

    • Mission(Impossible) says:

      ^Shorter version:

      “Kelly Kate is justified in using our city’s public transportation as an open sewer because:

      (1) People are behaving badly on the Internets

      (2) She’s my friend, ‘Bus-Pisser with a Heart of Gold.’

      (3) We’re hipsters! We don’t play by the rules! I shudder at the thought of a world where people urinate in bathrooms.

      (4) Sometimes, I get negative reactions on public, shared sidewalks when I inconvenience others with my smoking. Fucking entitled yuppies! They have good jobs, and now they think I shouldn’t expose them to carcinogens without their consent? Fuck consent; I’m entitled to do what I want. Oh wait.

      (5) Yuppies again. They live above bars and complain about the noise. Just wanted to throw that in there.

      (6) I’m just gonna name drop Kerouac, Ginsberg, unequal gender mores, and political correctness. Why not? I might be a college dropout, but at least I tried.

      Thus, Kelly Kate is justified. The End.”

    • Herr Doktor Professor Deth Vegetable says:

      As noted above: You are a terrible person.

      • Fluid Dynamics says:

        you are bad at programming.

        • Herr Doktor Professor Deth Vegetable says:

          That is almost certainly true.

          The difference being, of course, that I have never tried to be a programmer, whereas “Ariel” has been a person for her whole life. With terrible results.

    • Sadie says:

      Blah blah blah “I don’t give a shit” *um why are you going on and on then?* blah blah blah “read kerouac” *oh hahaha! hilarious cliched little kid you are!* blah blah blah “9-5ers suck!” *okay, sure,never been one* blah blah blah.

      You bitches are fun to make fun of;silly stupid girls in women’s bodies. You will regret being gross and stupid, but won’t realize it till later.
      KK is a dime a dozen crass peon waitress who does too much blow and has no self respect. Cool. Get it. Show us something new why dontcha. Maybe it’s not that we’re AGHAST, we’re just sick of the same old shit.
      You come to my town (I’m 5th generation, grew up in the Mission along with my ma and her ma and hers too, so fuck you),
      along with all the others who want to be counterculture fucktards, fine, but just know that we are allowed to hate on your dumb asses.
      And we are sick of all of your shit, piss, and barf everywhere.
      We’ve seen you a million times and it isn’t that profound, so save your silly breath.
      We like to taunt you since you gave us the chance. Live with it. Or keep blathering.

  89. random says:

    and she used to be so cute and awkward… its sad she got so caught up in the scene. really.

  90. Mission(Impossible) says:

    OT, but her accent is incredibly annoying.

    Like one-tenth Fargo mixed with a few “hella” references. To each their own!

  91. davey d says:

    Goddamn… I can’t stand when people talk with that “uptalk” mannerism; ending a statement as if it were a question, and their voice goes ‘up’ in pitch. It’s such a ridiculous, wannabe quirky flaw.

    Man, I can’t wait to see how messy the bathrooms get at THE SUMMIT — I encourage droves of natives to pee all over those bathrooms (maybe even the counter-tops, too).

    Go back to your okie doke hometown, Little Girl!!!

  92. fierce13 says:

    She’s just 1K short of KKKatie and just as kkkrazy.just another entitled trustafarian art academy kid. My Native, over 50 ass would’ve kicked hers on that bus that night, either verbally or physically for a completely different outcome.
    But for me he will remain KKKatie2. Nuthouse coming up for this one too…

  93. missionative says:

    god I hate these motherfuckin hipsters,,,,someone shoot that skank

  94. GG says:

    Has anyone considered, what if she was not acting on her own volition when she peed out that window… but was in fact under the influence of CHEMTRAILS??

  95. parisa says:

    I met this girl 5 years ago at a party in Berkeley.
    I dated her exbf for a month in college. She ran through the halls of my co-op yelling at the top of her lungs that I had her herpes, tagged it all over my house, and posted it all over the internet. Much to her chagrin, her ex didn’t believe any of her bs. And I had to get her sorry-ass 86d from my house.

    Nice to know she’s still the pathetic attention-seeking little bitch she’s always been.

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