Intense, Intimate Eye-Sex with the Security Guard at Walgreens

Beth Spotswood was trying to shoplift some sundry goods from Walgreens this morning and ended up having an epic, Western-style staring contest with the security guard who was hot on her trail:

This security guard was always 3 feet away and staring directly at me, to the point where our proximity could no longer be ignored. But quite frankly, I was way too embarrassed to say anything. This guy thought I was thief! So I just turned to face him and stared back.

See who wins.

12 Responses to “Intense, Intimate Eye-Sex with the Security Guard at Walgreens”

  1. olu says:

    Really? A link to Spotswood kinda veers from the mission theme but whatever. (by the way, did I read it correctly? was it that she looked so bad, that the security guard thought she might shoplifting? that he treated her like a minority or something? as someone who gets regularly followed in stores no matter how nice I look, and how ‘ghetto’ the store i’m sure i’m overreacting).

  2. Really.
    I live in the Mission.
    And I don’t think the post warranted that grasp as calling me racist, “but whatever.”

    Anyghetto, thanks for the link, Allan! And I swung by Pirate Cat on my way home, a day late and a dollar short of Bourdain. Foiled…

  3. olu says:

    Your words not mine Spots.

  4. Actually, they ARE your words, olu. And if you’re going to comment in the internet, announcing that I felt “treated like a minority” when I said (and felt) no such thing, at least have the courage of your convictions to own your implications and sign your name.

    For example, Dear olu, I think you are an uptight alarmist with too much emphasis on political correctness and not enough on punctuation. Regards, Beth Spotswood

  5. “A link to Spotswood kinda veers from the mission theme but whatever.”

    HAhahahuefnuiqevnfauv nfanb0g5jgvdsb.,l;;l.

  6. olu says:

    I did say treated like a minority because that was the equivalence it seemed you established. I did not call you a racist – that was your inference. While I love ad hominem attacks(it makes the internet great!) I don’t think I have an unnatural emphasis on PC.

    Being followed around the store by the security guard is what happens to minorities. I didn’t think that was unfair or unusual thing to say. I thought it was a well established truism. I may be wrong. But it certainly isn’t a PC thing to say. It is an experiential account.

    Sorry that my response was not as free of typos as was yours.

  7. While doing some afternoon shopping at South Coast Plaza’s Saks store in Orange County, I was followed by a security guard. Endlessly. But, as luck would have it, the guard was actually a hair model scout looking for readheads. A few days later I was booked in a fashion show.

    So I totally know where you’re coming from. Kind of.

  8. Holden Helena says:

    My stars. Olu, obvi Beth’s post was more “That’s life in the Big City” than having anything to do with race. What’s up with your thinly veiled correlation between looking “bad” and being of color? If you got that out of the crazy-Walgreens-security-guy story, I honestly suggest a tailor to thicken your skin a bit.
    If we’re gonna make that post all political n shit, obviously it’s a feminist issue. And don’t start with me and my bleeding heart UCSC edumacation.

  9. Holden Helena says:

    Almost forgot: Nazis.

    Annnd, scene.

  10. Eve says:

    I was, and still am followed by security guards all the time. And I worked retail, and followed people myself. In neither case, not due to any minority status, but because I (or they) had big bags or looked glassy-eyed and out of it (Beth, forgive me, but I suspect that was your case). olu, I am a member of a minority group: I am followed by security guards: security guards only follow members of a minority group does not logically hold as truism or otherwise.

    Would *I* be overreacting to infer from the tone of your comments that the problem might be something other than your ethnic heritage?

  11. Karla says:

    I am followed by security all the time too, but then again, I do shoplift ANY chance I get.

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