Two hot chicks looking for holiday boyfriends

Hot on the heels of the viral success of the guy seeking a holiday girlfriend:

Two Girls, One Season. WANTED: Holidates – w4m – 26

Who we are: Two mid-twenties workaholics who didn’t have time to go to bars and dig through piles of shit to find men the last 11 months. Crap, here we are single, AGAIN, and Christmas is approaching.

What we look like (we know you want to know): We’re actually really hot chicks. Like you could have picked us out of a lineup for a CW teen drama. We can guarantee you won’t have a couple of butter-faces on your arm this holiday season. We do pilates. We go on bike rides. We yoga the shit out of our auras. Our asses can rock a cocktail dress all on their own and we have legs for dayz. One of us is tall and has a bangin’ volleyball player’s bod and the other is short and petite, like a magical Christmas elf. With a huge rack.

What we want: We need two guys (preferably two in a bromance to match our womance) to stick around for the holidays. Our love will be fake, but epic. We want to make everyone jealous. We will have Christmas cards that will make your mother cry. We’ll attend each other’s office holiday parties and be voted cutest couple(s), even if they don’t hold those kinds of contests at office holiday parties. Then we’ll get under mistletoes and makeout inappropriately in front of your coworkers.

Read the full listing after the jump…

UPDATE: They got a blog.

[Missed Connections via Primo] [Completely unrelated photo by Gaelan]

Two Girls, One Season. WANTED: Holidates – w4m – 26

Let’s cut to the chase: Holidays are the worst time to be single and some of us are just over it. We’re two single girls looking for a pair of seasonal boyfriends for Christmas and New Years and only for Christmas and New Years.

Who we are: Two mid-twenties workaholics who didn’t have time to go to bars and dig through piles of shit to find men the last 11 months. Crap, here we are single, AGAIN, and Christmas is approaching.

What we look like (we know you want to know): We’re actually really hot chicks. Like you could have picked us out of a lineup for a CW teen drama. We can guarantee you won’t have a couple of butter-faces on your arm this holiday season. We do pilates. We go on bike rides. We yoga the shit out of our auras. Our asses can rock a cocktail dress all on their own and we have legs for dayz. One of us is tall and has a bangin’ volleyball player’s bod and the other is short and petite, like a magical Christmas elf. With a huge rack.

What we want: We need two guys (preferably two in a bromance to match our womance) to stick around for the holidays. Our love will be fake, but epic. We want to make everyone jealous. We will have Christmas cards that will make your mother cry. We’ll attend each other’s office holiday parties and be voted cutest couple(s), even if they don’t hold those kinds of contests at office holiday parties. Then we’ll get under mistletoes and makeout inappropriately in front of your coworkers. We’ll wear matching sweaters. We’ll attend Cuddlefest 2011 by the fire. We’ll bake gingerbread cookies and decorate them to look like us. We’ll be like the fucking spitting image of the last 30 minutes of Love Actually.

Then we dump you. The day after New Years.

What we’re looking for: MEN! Ages 24-32. Who have a sweater collection. Owns at least one suit. And of course, funny. 75% of the things you say should just be funny. The other 25% can be a mixture of bullshit, charm, compliments, and how you don’t live with your mother. Your schedule should also be flexible–I mean come on, you gotta make time for your new girlfriends! We need men to attend all of the following: Our Office’s Holiday Party (open bar, holler!), Ugly Sweater Party in San Jose, Holiday Party in San Francisco, a holiday card photoshoot, and New Years Eve (guaranteed makeout sesh).

How to apply: Write us an email and send us pictures. Tell us a little bit about yourself, your potential rating on hotornot.com (be honest), height and build, your hobbies, why this interests you, and what you have to offer. Pictures in sweater collections are a plus. In return, we’ll send you pictures of ourselves. What we don’t want: bat-shit crazy alcoholics, men with daddy issues, men who are looking to cheat on their current girlfriends, men who are just in it for sex, and creepers. Let’s be honest, this is craigslist and we’re not looking to get roofied by our own boyfriends.

As ridiculous as our ad may sound, we’re actually serious and want to get some real responses. If this ad is still up, it means we’re still searching!

36 Responses to “Two hot chicks looking for holiday boyfriends”

  1. Sweet T says:

    Those women sound exhausting. Just reading through that ad left me in need of a nap.

  2. dude says:

    SCREAMS “high maintenance.” $20 bucks says these “hot chicks” are single cause they’re too picky.

  3. km says:

    Anyone remember Aesop’s Ant and the Grasshopper?

  4. Mark says:

    Hmmmm… so many questions.

    Why *exactly* single for the ‘last 11 months’?

    Workaholic = boring.
    It seems delusional that they want everything from a terrific Man – yet they do so little to actually go out and meet someone.

    If a guy posted this ad, what would it say?
    – Desperate and looking for saving
    – Sad, boring, needy; demands partner NOW!

    What is up with the entitlement?
    Meeting someone terrific is a two way street. You get what you give.

    Hot or not? I am willing to go out on a limb here and say … NOT!

    Attractive is who you are as a person; not a laundry list.

    Go stag to the holiday party – meet someone. It works better that way.

    • new says:

      perfect analysis here. entitlement generation FAIL.

    • david says:

      So superficial… what do you really have to offer? Being cute/hot doesn’t make a relationship.

    • batman says:

      i agree with this analysis, lets face it, PUSSY has a certain market value, and if you are as they stated, hot girls, with jobs, its begs the question, why cant you just rustle up a “fake” date. most hot girls batman knows, have a line of guys ready to do their bidding just for a sliver of hope of getting some pussy. and yet there two “hot” girls have to resort to CL to do find a date?

      either A.. your pussy value has fallen in your local market, i.e: you’ve sleept around and gained a reputation and therefore cant get a decent guy in your circle of ppl to even FAKE date you. for a few weeks no less.

      or B…you not hot, in which case you should have just said that, and maybe stated that you were massively enthusiastic in the sack, that would have gotten more guys that were decent, that just being superficial.

      now batman has other cases to detect… take that to heart ! BATMAN OUT !

      NANA ANAN NANANA … FILLMORE !

  5. scum says:

    I want to make a fake posting to see who will reply.

  6. footballhead says:

    Three hours later…and were flagged for removal. There go my holiday plans

  7. dwayne johnson says:

    what happen to the blogger who busted his shoulder? Hope he healed up already…line cutters…get what you deserve…

  8. baconman says:

    I’m a friend and a co-worker of both these young ladies and I’m here to tell you they are both hot and attractive on the inside and outside and far from boring.

  9. Paul says:

    I want to meet them!
    I can’t respond to the post from CL because it has been removed.

  10. Preems says:

    HERE’S THE NEW LINK, geez so many hatery guys, probs u ain’t cute tho so WHATEVS! http://twogirlsoneseason.tumblr.com/

  11. blah says:

    I like how even when posting an anonymous ad for an ostensibly meaningless short-term relationship these ladies have to do it as a couple to further shield themselves from the possibility that they might actually experience a real emotion. Also serves, I guess, to make it seem like something really fun and sassy (everybody’s doin’ it, yo!) rather than just an admission that any particular author lives a lonely and insular life.

  12. Stuart says:

    Uhh. OK cupid?

  13. Translation: Two closeted lesbians looking for two presentable, more-or-less closeted gayboys who can fool our co-workers at office holiday functions so they won’t know we’re that way.

    Trust me, girls, they already know.

  14. Chontello says:

    Do they have tattoos? They claim to be hot and don’t even mention tattoos? Without tattoos you are NOT HOT.

  15. rod says:

    this is the oldest internet dating swindle in the book. anyone who claims to be attractive and then asks you to take their word for it, is definitely unattractive.

  16. no fish today says:

    yeah, but how are their BJs??

  17. GG says:

    It doesn’t matter how “hot” they are, if they’re (1) so insecure that they feel the need to play-act a fake relationship so their co-workers and family think they are dating someone, are (2) so narcissistic that they think people they share a coffeemaker with at work actually care about whether or not they are single, and (3) have so few genuine (platonic) relationships with people that those around them wouldn’t even know if they were actually dating someone or if this was just some random dude who answered an ad — they’ve got WAY too many issues to be attractive. Even if they give great BJs. (Well, I’m a woman, so I’m assuming that last part.)

  18. SpirituaLee says:

    Ummm. Why is my photo being used for this???

  19. J-Lub says:

    “Then we’ll get under mistletoes and makeout inappropriately in front of your coworkers.”

    Wait, do they mean *they* will make out or that they will make out with their boyfriends? If it’s the former, I think that would make my office holiday party a lot more fun.

  20. Bob Dole says:

    *cough* transplants *cough*

  21. nickman says:

    I only date the locals

  22. kylem says:

    Hey, ladies. I’ve got just the guy for you: http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sfc/m4w/2732443819.html

  23. Derek says:

    I for one think this is as clever as anything I’ve seen in years. No joke…they will make a movie out of this. Love it. Good luck girls!

  24. Chancho Pelao says:

    If they’re so “hot”, why didn’t they provide a pic?

    Methinks they’re not as hot as they think they are.

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