Breakups in the age of Instagram

Former local blogger (turned NYC-based blogger) Ramona (not pictured) tells us all about it:

Breaking up is so embarrassing now. Instead of the person just dying at 30 like they did on the Oregon Trail, they stay alive until like 70-plus, and you’re forced to know all about it because you are physically incapable of not looking at their and their friends’ and their coworkers’ social media accounts.

[...]

One night you have 16 glasses of sparkling wine and check his Instagram page online. What better time to maybe run across a picture of him laughing in front of a sunset than when you’re already overdosed on depressants? There is nothing you love more after a breakup than trying to make yourself feel great! You see that he spent at least part of his weekend at a beach. This seems wrong somehow, that he should still be alive. But when you double check the date stamp, it would appear that he is in fact still alive. Somehow, and you don’t think it’s just the Walden filter, his beach looks cooler and more intellectual than the one you yourself were at last weekend. The kind of place where everyone has seen the latest series at BAM and would never ask a guy who worked at The Paris Review how much he loved living in Paris. Well maybe it shouldn’t be called The Paris Review then! Maybe it should be called The New York Review?!

Read on for lots more, particularly Ramona’s profound conclusion.

[Stock 'gram by Rice Paper Scissors]

Ready to make it on her own in the big city!

But right now she probably regrets forgetting that pink umbrella…

Going for it in the broom closet at the Knockout, ’09 or ’10

A cute blast from the past courtesy of reader Ron:

This happened at the knockout back 2009/2010. A couple was going for it in the broom closet during debaser or booty or some crazy overfull party. The whole club was in on the action (they were naked from the waist down…right?) to the point to where they were in just about full view. I had a Canon pocket camera i used to carry everywhere and I managed to catch the action. Never thought about doing anything about the images. I’m going through a purge and I found my old memory cards and I found these gems among the other useless images I shot at that time.

Dance Karaoke romance

Here’s one of the great things about DJ Purple’s patented “Dance Karaoke” party: even if you’re turned off by the fact that the girl or guy you desire only has one go-to karaoke song (and that song is “Gangsta’s Paradise”) you can always just get things going on the dance floor:

Amanda at slate karaoke – m4w (mission district)

We danced at karaoke. Your name is Amanda. I am shy but I wouldn’t mind getting to know you better. [link]

Here’s hoping they get to dance together once again!

(Thanks, Candy!)

[Photo by Jess Kelso]

Modern romance

My pal Chad is really into karaoke. (As am I.) Apparently he says so on his online-dating profiles, and here’s what happens when a nice young lady doesn’t heed his warning:

Done and done. Easy peasy.

Now, before you rip on Chad for being so quick to pass, and before you rip on this nice young lady for not branching out more at karaoke, think about it… Back in the old days, it might take you 10 years of marriage (followed by a bitter divorce) to figure out that it wasn’t going to work because the only song she’d karaoke was “Gangsta’s.” Modern romance cuts right to the chase!

(Also, be sure to check out DJ Purple’s debut at SoMa StrEat Food Park this Saturday night!)

Lonely homeless cowboy seeks ‘girlfrind’ and travel

Says Capp Street Crap, who published this pic just now:

Want to believe this all happened and he didn’t need the sign anymore. [link]

Holy cow yeah, oof, this is beautiful. It’s a Lee Hazlewood song just waiting to be written. Let’s rock:

Great ideas

[via Capp Street Crap]

Hot new look for summer: His and hers cords

And get this: the couple pictured, Stella and Tony, just got renamed by our other pal Beth. Together… they are “Stony.” Nice cords, Stony!!

[via Stella]

Love at first pat-down

From Missed Connections:

Security ID checker at SFO – w4w (SFO)

When: Saturday night, June 21 around 8:30

You: Super cute girl working the security line checking ID’s at SFO. You chatted with me, wondering why I was going to Newark – said, “Its not cold enough here for you?”

Me: Short dark hair, glasses, apparently incapable of human conversation in the face of unanticipated humor from an attractive woman. You asked my last name. I spelled it. Its a miracle I’ve made it this far in life.

I’ll be back in a few weeks. Let me prove to you that I can complete a sentence. Yeah? :) [link]

[via Roll Over Easy, the best radio show in town] [Photo by timesunion.com]

If mattresses could talk

Aww.

[via Capp Street Crap]