Sorry about this, but some of the phrases uttered in this video — shot outside a bar ’round closing time on Saturday night — are just too cute not to share.
UPDATE: By popular demand, a transcript:
Boy: Yeah
Girl: You’re a fuckin’ asshole
Boy: Exactly
Girl: And a hipster would never fuckin’ talk that way
Boy: Hipsters do talk that way
Girl: They don’t
Boy: Hipsters are — have you read anything about us?
Girl: They don’t
Boy: We are fucking assholes
Girl: Oh, ’cause you’re so fuckin’ cool, right?
Boy: Exactly
Girl: You’re an asss
Boy: You are an ass
Girl: I’m not!
Girl: –as a cool kid
Boy: Cool kids are bad too
Girl: You’re a fuckin’ ass
Boy: Don’t limit your boyfriend
Girl: Tonight–
Boy: Sugar
Girl: I hope you put your head on the bed and–
Boy: Say something really nasty now
Girl: I’m not going to–
Boy: Try to
Girl: –because I’m a good person
Boy: Try, tryyy!
Girl: I’m not going to
Boy: Try. Feel the darkness coursing through you
Girl: I think you’re a bitch
Girl: You know what? None of this is angering me whatsoever
Boy: You know what? I’m totally zen, so that makes two of us, and we should totally shake on it and fuckin’ do Bikram.
Girl: Bikram?
Boy: Yeah, we don’t do that. I was just leading you on
They totally banged I bet.
I… don’t… understand.
Congratulations on finding the world’s first self-identifying hipster!
Also keeping the camera trained on those grindquarters the whole time adds a nice touch.
hey i thought i was the first!
Ha! I thought you were already The Mission’s Answer to Nicholas Cage and The Heart of Mission Mission. You can’t have all the titles, man.
touche
That guy needs to be pushed in front of a bus.
Hipsters are lame
Where did the hipster pick up the gay accent?
Cripes. I’ve become somewhat fascinated by talk of hipsters and wondered what one is exactly. This video has cleared it all up. At home in London we’d call him a div. Or a knobber. Am now quite keen to find one and goad it until he threatens to get all zen on my arse…
in the UK they are Shoreditch Twats… Same diff… Div? Wow for a moment there I thought you were gonna bust on with Joey
Joey??? It’s been a while since I’ve wheeled one of those out. Is it wretched that it made me smile?
Oh, yes. Quite wretched. Quite. Hmm-hmm-hmm.
Reason British People Are the Best #43: They use the word ‘wretched’ on a regular basis.
Oh, Mission — you make Williamsburg seem appealing(I can’t believe I just said that).
Hipster is used far too often nowadays. I prefer the term “self-centered person who conforms to a specific and predefined style for the sake of acceptance without the annoying effort of developing a good personality.”
trying to define hipsterism is the new hipsterism.
this isn’t a hipster, this is someone desperately looking for an identity . . .
and that is different from a hipster in what way?
I wish there was a draft.
A battle of wits by the witless..
He’s on your team.
This was sublime.
Gay accent? WTF is that and how is it defined? Aren’t hipsters straight guys who wear gay clothes but don’t exactly wash them (or anything else)? Actually yes, hipsters are gay people that are dirty, but not filthy. A job and a shower separates a hipster from a gay or a homeless person, respectively. Yes! I just figured it out!
pure poetry.
My God. You mean, if I chop my IQ in half and babble like a chump, I’ll get to have sex with some hot multi-pierced hipster girl? I hate myself.