Cavalcade of curses

Our buddy Theo recently a started a new project wherein he’s going to post a hand-drawn, custom-lettered swear word every day for a year or something. It’s called Beautiful Swear Words.

My first question was, “Where are the t-shirts?” Theo hasn’t quite figured that out yet, but he’s gonna, and I’ll be sure to post again when he does.

My second question was, “Need help coming up with more swears?” Theo says he’s always on the hunt, so by all means, shout out all your favorite swears in the comments sections below. I’ll go first.

Also, Theo’s only 17, so please nobody tell his mom about this project.

40 Responses to “Cavalcade of curses”

  1. Allan Hough says:

    I’d like to see a “Dicknose.”

  2. I always loved hearing my Dad/Original Hipster? swear out “Dirtbag!” whenever we drove somewhere and he got pissed at other motorists. Another random swear I heard recently that may at least in a visual sense challenge “dicknose” would be “shitnozzle”!!

  3. manymachines says:

    “Hell’s Bells!” ™ my mom.

  4. Russel says:


  5. Daniel says:

    CUNT BUFFER. that is all.

  6. tofupuppy says:

    Shitty McDickshits Fart the Turd

    (Yup, we actually say this one)

  7. Alissa says:

    damn this kid is kinda talented! i love the “bullshit” one.

  8. Brett MacFadden says:

    Cool project! He should join forces with Eric Bakke’s Hurtful Words, where people can stake ownership over swears. He has some gems.

  9. Allan Hough says:

    Oh, how about “Cum Dumpster”? You could probably sell a lot of “Cum Dumpster” t-shirts.

  10. Herr Doktor Professor Deth Vegetable says:


  11. Josh says:

    harkening back to my childhood watching Clerks: “Cocksmoker”

  12. moonpie says:

    “dodger-dater” is the worst thing i can think of

  13. CJ says:

    I’m a big fan of the term ‘Thundercunt’

  14. Doodie Head says:

    Titty fuck

  15. firen says:

    Asshat is a favorite of mine

  16. Osamu Tezuka says:


  17. Fucknut

    But there’s a difference between swears you yell at people and swears you swear at yourself when you do something dumb, like cut your finger or stub your toe. For those special moments, I usually stick with the tried-and-true classics, like shit, fuck and son of a bitch. If I just do something lame, like misplace a needed tool, I’ll go all cute: fuckity-fuckity-fuck!

    My favorite cussing on Deadwood was when someone got called a “degenerate tit-licker” — I’d love to know what time in the early morning the writers came up with that gem.

  18. prince says:

    Buttfungus = star of grade 5

  19. Allison says:

    I think titshark is kind of funny.

  20. Matt says:

    I always liked “Christfuck,” but perhaps that is too religiously charged?

  21. chalkman says:


  22. CJTC says:

    Cock Juggling ThunderCunt

  23. janeko says:

    suck my titties!

  24. Magiclantern says:

    Pussy wagon
    Nut sack
    Bag o dicks
    Shit stain
    Cunt rag
    Cunt bag

  25. damian says:

    the old jail house call:”YOUR A PUNK..YOUR A SISSY..YOUR A PUNK ASS SISSY!!!!!!!!

  26. in italian:STOONARDAVASE(stupid cunt)