What exactly is ‘a regular job’?

Janebook wonders what qualifies in our interesting neighborhood:

But the fifth or sixth instance you hear some guy talk about moving weed like he’s performing life-saving organ transplants with surgical instruments he hand-whittled out of Mendocino redwoods …I can’t. I just can’t. I also find it adorable how they always faux-wistfully wish they had “a regular job.”

As someone with a menial “regular job,” I’m just gonna come right out and say I’d way fucking rather make five times as much doing something illegal — and I totally have options for doing that, but 9 out of 10 of them I’m sure involve donning patent leather and stepping on some dude’s nutsack, which I definitely don’t have the stomach for.

Would you have the stomach for it? Or are you wholly content with your “regular job”?

[Photo via Chinkerfly]

45 Responses to “What exactly is ‘a regular job’?”

  1. kyle says:

    i think they probably do more then just step on your nutsack in prison.

  2. Bob Dole says:

    Cool story bro. Best part was when the 2 guys both had sex with the author at 17.

  3. fingerbinger says:

    Not to mention the requisite ridiculous “[totally reasonable price for a drink] is like way too much!” nonsense.

    The cousin of “I couldn’t believe that the [good local band] show was [absolute BARGAIN price for seeing a show, like less than $5]. What a rip-off!”

    • mosquito says:

      Poor Jane, life is hard when you’re so much cooler than everyone else.

      • BR says:

        Best part is how Jane frequently brags about how mommy and daddy are supporting her…and she doesn’t feel bad or guilty in the least.

        • batman says:

          fuck her bitch ass !

        • Pilar says:

          Why should she? You’re an orphan raised in the foster system, and you’re bitter that someone else’s functional family actually loves and supports her enough to not throw her into the gutter, right?

  4. Eww says:

    Can someone please punch this bitch in the face?

    ” guy(s) I sleep with regularly I know for sure have more advanced iPhones than me, one in particular because he openly mocked my shitty, outdated one months ago. Can you see how this fucks everything up? This means every time I’ve been like, typing a text to a dude I’m trying to seem nonchalant “

      • scum says:

        Nice job fake scum. Minus everything.

        • scum says:

          this scum has a job (i.e., not collecting unemployment).

          • scum says:

            This scum might have a sugar momma.

          • scum says:

            (i.e., I don’t have a job)

          • scum says:

            what the fuck

          • scum says:


          • Ariel Dovas says:

            Man, this fake scum is one of the consistently lamest trolls we have.

          • scum says:

            I consider it my fan club Ariel.

          • scum says:

            i consider it an honor that blog that posts picture of girls getting hit by car would have the audacity to provide any substantive value judgment on others. pot to kettle, nigga please.

          • Ariel Dovas says:

            Like anyone, the people writing for this blog make mistakes sometimes. But we do it honestly, out in the open, not hiding behind fake names, or worse, while posing as other people.

          • scum says:

            hardly “honestly” (no apology was ever issued) and the only reason the post was pulled was you guys got shit on hard in the comments section for being insensitive douches. The fact you consider that an “honest” mistake is prime evidence of your lack of authority to make substantive value judgments.

            plus, quick primer on copyright/trademark law: no one has an ip right over the word “scum.” there is no first here, mine forever.

          • Ariel Dovas says:

            All right, I’m bored of doing this with you. I know you’ll feel free to keep flinging poo at me from your hiding spot in the bushes. Obviously you and I don’t see the world the same way. I’m okay with that. For some reason people like you feel the need to take the time out of your day to shit on us in the comments section of everything. Fine. But it’s really difficult to take you seriously when you hide behind fake names while criticizing me about integrity. You know my name, (it’s very Googleable/odd/easy to make fun of) I stand behind what I say. This is a group blog, different people post different kinds of things. The idea that you thought I was saying that using someone else’s name is illegal is a straw man. I was obviously noting that you use the anonymity of the internet to not have to be held accountable for what you say.

            Why don’t you take the last word and we can get on with enjoying our separate New Years.

  5. mewr says:

    Forget about the girl faking her way to cool-


  6. MS says:

    Pilar is likely Jane’s homie that lives in Oakland, with Miguel. you are a good friend Pilar.

  7. Sweet T says:

    Pilar is the great big half-gypsy matriarch of the Spanish guerilleros in “For Whom The Bell Tolls.” The name means “pillar” in Spanish; fitting for a character who acts as a pillar of strength for the wearied band of rebels. In this context, Pilar is also a pillar of strength for poor, hapless Jane as she and her self-indulgent blog weather this barrage of criticism.

  8. hoboking says:

    Why be mean to Jane – I can’t help but approve of anyone who satirizes her own life. The blog is pretty amusing, people taking it as some kind of truth telling document are even more amusing.

  9. L says:

    Jane Parton does not have the sole rights to the satire of Jane Parton’s life. As aspiring ignorant sluts, us, as the reader are entitled to satire as well.

  10. Lynae says:

    I don’t think I know anyone who has a “regular job.”