Bartender mistook “soda water and the check” as “soda water and some Jack.” Oh shit.
— Josh Ellingson (@ellingson) October 24, 2012
Can anybody beat that one?
 October 24, 2012 Can anybody beat that one?</p>
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“2 Anchor Steam please” —> “2 Hennessy Please”
Patron – can I get a Pabst beer?
Me – I’m a bartender. Not a gynecologist.
winner!
hahaha
Thanks to both of you who over-enunciated “Paps Smear” to me tonight. Next time, I’m gonna add a shot of grenadine.
“2 tequilas on the rocks” –> “2 tequila sunrise”
(At a swim-up bar in Mexico. Worked out pretty well.)
And this is why at a bar it’s a tab, not a check.
Actually, I’m sure that’s not THE reason why, but I’m going to go with it.
“Tab? I can’t give you a Tab unless you order something!”
“Tab? We don’t sell Tab since they ban cyclamates! We got only Diet Coke!”
Ok then, how bout a Pepsi-Free?
Me: can you make me some sort of bourbon drink? surprise me.
bartender: a bourbon drink? sure!
she then proceeded to make a jameson and ginger ale
Surprise!
“Can I get a couple of napkins?”
Proceeds to bring me two shots of Captain Morgan.
Me: Im wasted, what wont make me puke?
Bartender: You leaving.
Patron: What’s your best cocktail?
Bartender: A beer and a shot.
Bartender: Here you go, sir, just as you ordered.
Patron: [no tip]
winner.
Actually the bartender got it right this time:
A Liberal, a Moderate and a Conservative walk into a Bar.
Bartender: “Hi Mitt.”
Siri is getting mad at this article.
Patron – You got PBR?
Bartender – No.
Patron – What’s the cheapest thing here?
Bartender – You.
It should be noted that I’d already had a few and probably wasn’t speaking clearly. This is how alcoholics happen.
arguing wether bud light tastes great;or is less filling
my friend bets several bikers in front of a bar(for a big drink) that he can prove hes jesus christ;okay;they says;but if ya lose..your payin up;my friend walks into the bar with the crew;and as soon as the bartender sees my friend;yells”JESUS CHRIST!!!!”ARE YOU BACK HERE AGAIN!!!!???”