Mission Mission

On Tuesday evening Steve Fox opened up the doors to the space at 1096 South Van Ness, future home of his mini golf restaurant bar, Urban Putt, and let people wander inside and look around. The former mortuary was most recently renovated to be a bar and club, but retains a lot of the original flair and regality of a classy/cheesy 20th Century mortuary, including some creepy little brick chambers and a stairway to nowhere in the basement. I spoke with Steve and his designer Christopher Myers about their plans.

The plans for the holes are pretty ambitious and sound like they’re going to be a lot of fun to make. As someone who has also built an indoor park with building exteriors in this neighborhood, it’s right up my alley. Many of the holes are going to be locally themed, recreating monuments and places from San Francisco that go beyond the typical postcard locals, such as the spot where the 1906 Earthquake survivors meet every year. There will also be a private room to rent out, bars around the space and dining upstairs. We wrote about Urban Putt previously here.

Anyway, back to the holes, most of them will be on the main floor, but some will also lead the golfers into side rooms where they will step into a submarine environment. The fabrication will happen on site and Steve is looking to include local artists/designers to help create one or two of the holes. You can contact him if you’re interested.

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Our pal Aaron noticed this happening across the street from his house, and it reminded me that damn, it’s been a while since I had a Bloody Mary at Pop’s Sports Bar. Perhaps it’s Bloody Marython season again!

Invasive non-native aqua cycles spotted at 24th and Bartlett Attic bike lockup area. Cosmic coincidence?

Welcome to the “Drama Talk & Drinks” number three. This time our friends Katie Cruz and Brittany Janis went to see a burlesque show at the place that replaced the place that came after the place that was named for Frank Chu. Here’s their report:

[photo via Balançoire on Facebook]

It was Brittany’s birthday last Thursday, and we were looking for a place to get drinks. We heard that a new bar and performance venue was opening in what was most recently The Blue Macaw on Mission, Balançoire: “A full service restaurant, bar and nightclub featuring a French/Creole inspired menu, two dance floors and bars & a performance stage perfect for a variety of events”. The 18th was opening night, and their in house Burlesque company, Le Chat Roux, was performing. Since nothing says birthday more than pasties and tassels we had a bunch of friends meet us there for after-dinner drinks and, of course, drama talk.

Brittany: So I want to start off saying, I did have fun. Anytime you get a big group of friends together to drink, dance, and watch ladies take off their clothes it ends up as a good night.

Katie: True, but if I wasn’t with our group of friends I would have been like “WTF”. The place doesn’t quite have a clear identity yet. The inside had a poorly thought through chair and table layout, cheesy strobe lights, and bad music…something was just really off about the vibe. It also would have been great if they had a cocktail waitress.

B: I’m sure part of it was opening night jitters, but in burlesque the taking off of the clothes is the show. Instead, a few of these girls just danced all cray and at the very end were like “oh shit, guess I need to take this dress off” then they struggled with the zipper, pulled it off super quick, and then bounced up and down with their tassels twirling in a panic because their music had already ended.

K: The only performer who I really liked was Eva D’Luscious – she really rocked those large white fans of plumage.

B: I’m just happy I avoided getting birthday spanks, unlike the other birthday party that was there. Although the hostess Kittie Von Tittie was actually really fun, so I would have let her spank me.

K: I think our friend August said it best: “The show wasn’t amazing but I fully support courage in all it’s forms, especially if it could potentially piss off a republican”.

The Verdict: We probably wouldn’t go again, but if you have a big group and need a place to go that will provide plenty of space and some sort of entertainment then keep this place in mind. We can’t speak to the food but the menu was limited and definitely not cheap ($20-$28 range). Hopefully this place pulls it together, but due to it’s current bizarre atmosphere, bad drinks, and mediocre service we wouldn’t be surprised if they don’t last very long.

The Drama Talk: If you want to see girls struggle to take off their clothes, make sure you sit close to the stage. The space is oddly structured at the moment so the stage view is blocked to most of the bar by a row of tall bar tables.

The Drinks: BAD, but at least for cheap for opening weekend. A gin gimlet is not served in a pint glass on the rocks, enough said.

Balancoire just completed their Grand Opening Weekend, but they have lots of events on the horizon. Check out their Facebook Page for the latest.

Sometimes you’ve got to take shelter in a dark bar.

Welcome to the second installment of “Drama Talk & Drinks”, a new feature here on Mission Mission. Our friends Katie Cruz and Brittany Janis go see a local show, then they go to a bar, get drinks, and talk about it. Here’s their report:

[pic by Katie Cruz]

Rumor had it something funny was going on under Lost Weekend Video. Last year they opened The Cinecave in their basement, and now they’re hosting a variety of awesomeness, including some of SF’s funniest. Last Saturday we decided to check out their Cynic Cave Comedy Show featuring Bucky Sinister, Shanti Charan, Red Scott, Kelly Anneken and Miles K hosted by George Chen and Kevin O’Shea. Here’s our drama talk:

Brittany: The host (Kevin O’Shea) was awesome! I loved that he started with “This is the most fun you are going to have in a basement in 2013” because I think that is true. I haven’t had that much fun in a basement in a while.

Katie: I definitely didn’t feel lied to, which is always nice. Shockingly good for $10.

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Except for that one straight-edge guy down there.

(via Dirty Dave)

Welcome to “Drama Talk and Drinks”, a new feature here on Mission Mission. Our friends Katie Cruz and Brittany Janis go see a local show, then they go to a bar, get drinks, and talk about it. For the first installment they saw The Happy Ones at the Magic Theatre and then had drinks at Royal Cuckoo. Here’s their report:

We braved the wild coastal lands of Fort Mason to see opening night of The Happy Ones at Magic Theatre, directed by Jonathan Moscone. We made it back to the Mission and went to Royal Cuckoo to debrief. This is a transcript of our drama talk.

B: What should we get to drink? I feel like we should drink something that they drank during the show…They drink so many bloody mary’s and martinis and gin…

K: And sangria.
(orders gin and tonic)

B: What do you think the name of this review should be?
(orders a martini)

K: Oh sweet Jesus…How about “Slow start but ends with a bang”? At first I was like “Whaaat is this?” But their acting actually got better as it went on. Those first few scenes they were trying so hard to be happy 70’s Americans.

B: RIGHT! So, I would have called it “The Incredibly WAY too Happy Ones”. When they actually let themselves get serious the play had some really lovely moments.

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As of 6pm tonight!

Here‘s a blast from before the bust of ’01. When Slanted Door used to be on Valencia and places like Mangiafuoco on Guerrero used to offer basic Italian grub and grog (“It has chianti and what else do you need in an Italian restaurant”).

Benders was Sacrifice, serving up rum ribs and voodoo pasta in a tiki setting (“Don’t ask about how this purgatorial “tiki lounge” fits in, it just does”).

Booze was referred to as liquids and Amnesia charged a whopping $2 for live shows. Over at The Uptown a good jukebox was defined as one stocked with Dylan and Morphine, but beers were $3 and the dude next to you could probably tip you off on a well priced nitrous tank.

The current de-gentrified Club Veintiséis on Mission near 26th was the gentrified 26 Mix, a “sound bar” offering up a high quality listening experience while you sipped on your suds à la Tokyo style bars which feature a premium soundsystem and choice djs.

Bonus interview with dj Spesh aka “dj Special K” of club QOÖL fame right here, who will surely get a kick out of this decade old frosty picture we’ve unearthed.