They might be kindergarten teachers

Local blogger anadromy experienced some deep thoughts while observing a pair of twentysomething dudes on the 47 the other day:

Both of them had their noses buried in their phones. Just as I was about to get off, they noticed each other and said what’s up. From the way they interacted, it was obvious they worked together and were both on the way to the office. Based solely on appearance, vibe, and where the bus was heading, I would be willing to place a large wager that they were both tech dudes on their way to some kind of startup South of Market. One guy said he was coming from Pacific Heights. The other said he was coming from Hayes Valley. The guy from Pac Heights asked, “Where’s that?” and I got bummed out because these two guys started to seem like a microcosm of everything that is wrong with San Francisco these days but then I got off the bus and thought about it some more and, whatever, at least they were riding MUNI and not some disgusting luxury shuttle and at least their company is based here in the city and not some fucked up suburb an hour away. Then I realized I could be totally wrong about them. Who knows? They could be kindergarten teachers or something. I was recently at a bar in Baja and there were these American bros having a bachelor party there. I assumed based on appearances and context that the women with them were probably prostitutes. But it turned out the women dancing with the bros were, in fact, kindergarten teachers just out having fun on a Saturday night.

Seems like a good rule of thumb to me: don’t hate, for They Might Be Kindergarten Teachers. (Also, who the hell cares where Hayes Valley is, anyway?)

[link] [Photo by Colleen Cummins]

23 Responses to “They might be kindergarten teachers”

  1. Haggie says:

    Kindergarten teachers are the new coke whores!!!

  2. Andy says:

    It’s true! Unless they’re on the huge white private luxury bus… then you know they’re not.

  3. Dean says:

    Good thoughts, well written.

  4. Western Additional says:

    Hayes Valley? Never heard of it.

  5. Sabb says:

    Still doesn’t deter me from crop-dusting Blondie’s.

  6. Family Guy Doctor says:

    Can’t it be both?

  7. Xxoptork says:

    yeah but it’s july. no school.

  8. Ben says:

    Life’s not easy constantly questioning the hipster credibility of everyone around you.

  9. Dave says:

    “Fucked up suburb an hour away”? He really needs to get out more.

    I know its hard to imagine San Francisco isn’t the absolute pinnacle of urban living, but there are places in the Bay Area that aren’t SF and Rockridge that aren’t suburban hellholes.

    And one advantage of those place over both SF and Oakland: you don’t have to wait in line for an hour on the freeway to get back home when you go somewhere even more interesting, either.

    • Bob says:

      I have no idea where in Silicon Valley you could be talking about. Honestly I actually don’t. The entire region is connected by the 101 or el camino real, both highly congested methods. The only public transportation is Caltrain which shuts down early, and a light rail that is on a single track? And is just a terrible thing to use in general.

      As for places that are interesting? I guess if push came to shove I could live in San Mateo, maybe Redwood City.

      Mountain View? Good lord that place is terrible.
      San Jose? I’m only aware of downtown, and it’s even worse.

      • Herr Doktor Professor Deth Vegetable says:

        Truth. Both San Jose and Mtn. View are cultural wastelands. Suburban hellholes.

  10. Dave says:

    >Mountain View? Good lord that place is terrible.

    Yes barely habitable. And yet millions of people choose to live south of Mission and Geneva; do they know how benighted their existence is? I suppose you could call Daly City “the outer outer Mission” and San Jose the way-outer Mission and then those people will feel better about themselves.

  11. Leary says:

    I tutor kids in reading on the weekends, send some cash to organizations for local homeless youth, and hang out at local music shows. You’d probably be nice to me if you met me.

    But guess what? I TAKE ONE OF THOSE SHUTTLES. And I write software for a living.

    So next time you see a guy doing any of that, be sure to go out of your way and be an asshole to him. After all, he might be me.

    • arse says:

      get over it

    • anadromy says:

      You seem like a very nice person but, I’m sorry, those shuttles you ride are really, really awful. I have no problem with anyone riding shuttles to work in the south bay. If you want to live that far from your job and your company is willing to pay to schlep you back and forth in style, good on you. But the way they just started stopping in MUNI stops, blocking buses and forcing MUNI passengers to walk around them, was infuriating and, IMHO, completely indefensible. More infuriating still was the way the city let them get away with it for years before crafting a bullshit legal excuse for it. The whole thing is sleazy and lame and it smacks of major league entitlement and privilege. In short, it sucks.

      By all means, please continue your good works and your charitable giving and your support of local music. But if your stupid shuttle blocks MUNI stops or makes MUNI buses late or blocks traffic or bike lanes (and I guarantee you it does every single one of these things each morning and evening at some point or another), I’m definitely gonna think you and everybody else on it is an asshole.

    • El Dedo says:

      The thing that makes me giggle most is that all of the people I know who’ve got their hate flag waving against the gentrifishuttlehighrent cause, NONE of them volunteer, NONE of them contribute in any tangible way to their neighborhood, NONE of them support the arts (aside from saying they like music and art)

      MOST DO hang out at El Rio (if they don’t have to pay the cover) or Bender’s and get drunk and bitch about the techies though. Daily.

      /giggle

      • troll says:

        How impressive that you’ve met every single one of them and know all of their habits and doings.

        • El Dedo says:

          Go back and re-read Mr. Troll. I didn’t say ALL of them, I said “all the people I know…”

          reading comprehension. GET SOME!

          now go back under your bridge.

  12. Dale says:

    What’s up with this try to be nice to probable dorks stuff? 20 something dudes in SF don’t teach kindergarten. Perhaps looking to make a buck and/or be cool, but that’s so far down the river they’ll never get a chance.

  13. one says:

    Sorry, kindergarten teachers live in neither Specific Whites or Hayes Vy – wherever that is.

  14. Oyster Boy says:

    They Might Be Giants.

  15. Dr. Nobody says:

    I used to ride the shuttle that ran between UCSF campuses. It was nice! But they did hit and kill a pedestrian once. Imagine if Google did that?

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