Control is an illusion; let there be socks

Best SF blogger of all time Brock Keeling the other day posted this thoughtful seasonal greeting on Facebook:

In between your unfollow-worthy posts about Donald Trump vs. Bernie Sanders, “Merry Christmas” vs. “Happy Holidays,” imported vs. locally-sourced terrorism, and other Daily Show- vs. FOX News-inspired dreck you insist on shouting to followers who think and feel exactly the same way you do — far be it from me that I should tell anyone to stop screaming into a bag of birdseed! — cushion your self-righteous updates with one like my own:

Socks remain one of the most requested clothing items at homeless shelters, but rarely the most donated. Freezing temps, blisters, and infections are common conditions that can lead to more serious health issues for our homeless population. Go ahead and donate a bag or five of socks to your nearest shelter. (Black non-dress socks, imo, are ideal because they last longer and are better suited for inevitable job interviews.) But best of all, not only will you feel better inside your own crazy head, you’ll get to make pious, grandstanding posts like this one. Fabulous.

St. Anthony Foundation is a good place to start (details: https://goo.gl/O1OBZN). Check your local shelters for drop-off info.

Get to work!

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Note: the title of this post also refers to a post we did in 2009 involving another all-time blogging great, Tony Pierce, and the prospect of a Valencia Street American Apparel shop.

Help Wanted (a poem)

I’ve been writing this blog every day
For a little over eight years
I’ve met heaps of interesting people
And conquered a lot of fears

But I’m getting older
And the neighborhood is a-changin’
And it’s starting to feel a bit like
The masthead could use some rearrangin’

I still love the Mission
And I still love this blog
I just need a little bit o’ help
A-rustlin’ up this hog

This thing’s never made a lot of money
So you couldn’t expect to get rich
But if a creative outlet and a lot of fun is what you’re after
Please continue a-listenin’ to my pitch

If you love this place
And you reckon your blogging abilities are the bomb
Please drop me a line
At allanhough@gmail.com

[Vintage staff photo via our Facebook account]

Somebody received a robot butler today and discarded the packaging out on the sidewalk

Maybe it’s a public service: someone can live in it.

[via Motley Goods on Instagram]

Hot new look for Indian summer

[via Melissa]

No greater horror in life than splitting the check

Former local blogger Ramona tells us all about it:

There is no greater horror (in a life with few horrors) than getting the check after dining or drinking with a large group of people. The worst worst time is when everyone has cash except for you, so they’re like “How about you put it on your card and we’ll give you money?” That innocent sounding “How about…” always ends with you putting $200 on your debit card and them handing you 16 crumpled ones, and you being like, “What the fuck?” and everyone being like “I put in the correct amount PLUS a little extra for tax,” and then turning back to their conversations to leave you to be evicted from your apartment. The best worst time is when some extremely chill person who has never been out to dinner before is like “Just give me your cash and I’ll put it on my card,” and you’re like “Okay,” but are thinking: welcome to hell motherfucker.

Read on for Ramona’s latest check-splitting horror, at an outdoor bar in Brooklyn.

[Photo by Honey Jets]

I went swimming in the bay today; where did you go swimming?

And the water was waaaaaarm. Like Santa Monica in October warm. Serious.

See me?

Should you say ‘in Potrero Hill’ or ‘on Potrero Hill’?

As part of a digression in a great post about Thomassons (objects in cities that are useless but still remain, like these hitching posts from the days of horses in SF), TK from 40 going on 28 poses a question:

When you’re saying something is located in a neighborhood that ends in “Hill,” do you say “in” or “on”?  Like, I say “You know, Thee Parkside, over on Potrero Hill,” or “That is the douchiest place on Russian Hill, and that’s saying something.”  Sally obviously prefers the “in” usage, as in “My bro sold his startup to Google and bought a place in Rincon Hill.”  Is either one right or are they both cool?  I don’t know.  *shrugs*

Tough one! Maybe think geographically? Thee Parkside is technically in the Potrero Hill neighborhood, but it is not on the hill. So I’d say “in.” Whereas Blooms Saloon is definitely *on* Potrero Hill, so maybe I’d say, “Blooms, on Potrero Hill.” Or would I? Hard to say.

The time my cousin Jono prevented a fight by dancing his ass off, while the Strokes played ‘New York City Cops’ in the distance

We’re in a tightly packed crowd, pretty far back, for the closing set of FYF 2014 by headliners the Strokes. They’ve just finished, but we just know they’re coming back for an encore. People are starting to stream out though, and amidst the chaos, some guy shoves another guy, the other guy shoves back, the crowd parts around them. It’s gonna get real.

But then, the Strokes (off in the distance) launch into “New York City Cops” (which is poignant already for its 9/11-related history and what’s happening currently with the NYPD) and my cousin Jono (who incidentally just won an Emmy) launches into the middle of the two guys and starts *boogying down*. The tough guys that were about to fight each other look confused for a moment and then go their separate ways. The rest of the crowd swarms in around Jono and we all dance and sing and shout along to the chorus.

Anger diffused by dancing. Violence prevented by party.

Let’s rock:

[Photo by Stephano Higuera]

Does the bartender who seems to like you really actually like you?

Local veteran barfly David Enos thinks not:

Group of cool guys on the train tonight, each with khakis, thick frame glasses, desert boots, hoodies.  ”Cantina’s where its at because the bartender knows us, he knows us, we’re down.  We go in, our table’s the focal point, we can get loud and not be kicked out.  I, personally, have gotten into some awesome conversations with random people in there.  We start a fight, the bartender’s on our side, he’s fightin’ with us, know what I mean?” I guarantee that the bartender of this establishment hates these cretins to the core.

Ouch. Read on for some thoughts on whether or not these guys are good tippers.

[Photo by Honey Jets]

Do-it-yourself pothole fix

Think something like this would work on that really persistent nasty hole on 21st?