A poem about the inner turmoil caused by gentrification

By a Mission Mission commenter named “speculator”:

mad cause me not afford nice place

mad at make neighborhood rent more

not mad at hardworking family guy

not mad at make shitty redundant liquor stores nice places

= confuse

With ya, buddy. Read the original post and the rest of the thread if you require context.

[Completely unrelated animated GIF by C'mon Pony]

31 Responses to “A poem about the inner turmoil caused by gentrification”

  1. MrEricSir says:

    Is that GIF Adam Savage demonstrating how he rejects your reality and substitutes his own?

  2. david says:

    mad cause friends are leaving

    mad at much older than new neighbors

    not mad cause my condo worth double

  3. Greg says:

    Crab boat employee

  4. Billy Kilmer says:

    I think that I shall never see
    A plant lovely as a tech yuppie.

    A yuppie whose hungry mouth is prest
    Against the locavore’s sweet flowing breast;

    A yuppie that looks at Fecebook all day,
    And tweets his pithy trite to the fray;

    A yuppie that may in Summer wear
    A lot of overpriced Jack Spade fare;

    Upon whose bosom lines of coke has lain;
    Who intrinsically lacks a heart and brain.

    Poems are made by fools like speculator,
    But God will make an earthquake later.

    • JJ says:

      Lock thread, close blog. Game over. This guy wins.

    • umm says:

      skilled nerds make billy sad :(

      • Dr. ZootSuess says:

        Hello there, Nerd. How do you do?
        Tell me, tell me, where should I move?
        Now you’ve fucked things up in the neighberherd.
        Where is hip? Please tell me Nerd.
        I do not like this ‘hood at all.
        Colonialization has come to call.
        A $400 sweater, 40,000 shares of TWTR, a Magic Mouse.
        Oh! What a bargain? Oh! What an overpriced house!

        • umm says:

          why should you move? if you’ve been here for more than a minute you have rent control. when you become too cool for the neighborhood you can always make the choice to leave. if you are extremely averse to change the city is probably the wrong environment for you anyways.

      • newtopian says:

        umm, everybody has skills, and they just might be more interesting and valuable than yours.

  5. GrowUp says:

    Novel idea: MOVE SOMEPLACE MORE AFFORDABLE! You are responsible for your own quality of being.

    • Lost in Newark says:

      I got lost trying to find the Dumbarton Bridge. I saw a lot of nice houses in Newark. Folks should move over there.

    • rk says:

      sf is attractive to those who refuse to grow up. it’s somewhat cute until they get about 35, then it becomes a helpless bitterness and emptiness.

    • JJ says:

      Novel idea: Long-time SF residents should charter a fleet of ZuckTrucks to dump these carpetbagging culture destroying clowns in Reno.

      • umm says:

        SF natives should dump the ‘long-time SF residents’ and their feelings of entitlement into the bay.

    • Zig says:

      What an orginal comment. Thanks

    • Herr Doktor Professor Deth Vegetable says:

      Novel idea: KEEP THIS PLACE MORE AFFORDABLE! We are all responsible for the quality of where we live.

  6. Leary says:

    You’ll all be happier in a year or so when all the new condos are finally built, and the professionals you loathe so passionately can comfortably negotiate a fancy new place in the neighborhoods you now scoff at, instead of having to frantically claw each other’s eyes out week after week desperately trying to land your now-overpriced old studio, which is one of approximately three units available to the 4,000,000 people looking for a place in the city right now.

    I know you’ll all tell me to go fuck myself for saying so, and that’s cool. ‘Cuz it’s still true. Relax. Have a beer.

    • Zig says:

      So many layer upon layer of snark and sarcasm here I can’t get the meaning of you comment

    • one says:

      I predict things will get worse for anyone not rich. Condos for millionaires will not ease pressure on rents. And do you think these people are going to give up their cars? Just what we need, more cars. The traffic from the condos and Whole Foods at Market and Dolores will produce (no pun intended) a traffic nightmare. Just multiply that by what, 9? new architectural atrocities along Market Street.

      • Leary says:

        Rich people want to live in SF. If they can do so in luxury housing, they’ll live there. Right now, there isn’t enough of it to handle the demand. Which is why some of them are bidding on your place instead. That may well seem insane to you, but anyone in the real estate market knows how desperate prospective buyers in SF are right now, and the richest desperate buyers usually win out.

        You don’t have to like rich people. Just know that the more of them you placate with a shiny new tower or two, the fewer of them will be fighting over your next place.

        • one says:

          The rich who want to live in the sf are already here. They’re not having any problem finding places to live. We’re not talking rich people here. Though I guess they’d be rich to YOU.

  7. karl says:

    so they’ll be building 4,000,000 condos for all those people? that’s great news!

  8. David HassleHough says:

    I live in a car in HP.

  9. dave says:

    I miss the nerd scene in Cole Valley

    When Craig Newmark was everyone’s pally.

    Geeks and punks used to work together

    And the Mission’s fame was its good weather

    Dime bags were bought in Dolores Park

    Then along came a guy named Mark

    He spent his salad years cornering the social market

    Emerged with billions and nowhere to park it

    San Fran was a city flocked to by youth

    Who all seemed to possess a certain inner truth

    The kind of truth that money can’t buy

    Deep down the Marks know that but still they try

    They buy up the Mission for its youthful magic

    But like Michael Jackson’s their quest is tragic

    Landlords win and landlords only

    Because even in the Mission the Marks are still lonely

    ‘Neighborhoods change man,’ so I’m told

    As San Francisco gets bought and sold

    A working class town like no other

    Has just been played like a Winkelvoss Brother

    The best things in Frisco were always free

    But that took a certain kind of person to see

    No longer do they come to San Francisco

    Because who wants to live in a billionaire’s disco?

    The muses are gone now and why is no mystery

    At least San Francisco still has its history

  10. MissAnneThrope says:

    Can we complain about the Google buses again, please?

  11. MissAnneThrope says:

    So, just so I know I’m getting this: the previous gentrifiers are mad at the new ones?

  12. *ahem* says:

    Good thing the previous Central American residents didn’t have a blog to complain about all the white people who moved in after 1995.