Here’s an excellent essay about what it’s like to work in an office

It’s by Ramona Emerson, one of the best writers of all time:

The weird thing about working all day everyday is that you’re going to die. and when you die you’re dead forever. Like who is the person who said, “I know. Five days will be for work and two days will be for brunch and everything else good.” That person must have hated people. And the thing is we just go along with it like there’s some kind of biological imperative to work five days a week. Like evolutionary psychology could be made to explain it just like it is made to explain everything that no one wants to deal with. You’re 28 and salad is the best part of your day. 

People have such weird ideas about work. If you told your mom you hated your boyfriend and he made you want to die, she would be like, “Break up with him!” But if you told your mom that you hated your job and it made you want to die, she’d be all, “Maybe you need to adjust your expectations.”

Offices are so strange. It’s so hard to know what’s going on in them. Are other people  working? It’s impossible to say since for a lot of people working has become indistinguishable from fucking around on the internet.

Read on for lots more, including bathroom sex fantasies and spinach and goat cheese salad.

6 Responses to “Here’s an excellent essay about what it’s like to work in an office”

  1. Steve-Z says:

    Subsistence farmers and hunter-gatherers don’t have these problems, but they also don’t have three-day weekends

  2. Mo says:

    She is so right on! It’s slavery and she’s sounding the bell. If her view makes you uncomfortable it’s because the truth in her words are making your insecurities twitch. Subsistence farmers and hunter-gatherers also are smart enough NOT to sign off on ‘student loans’ that they’ll never be able to pay back because the school system that feeds the cubicle farms strangely offer no job security. Only debt security. And that’s where warm blooded divine creatures ‘sell out’ for paychecks that steal their lives away.

    • Valenchia says:

      If you actually believed what you said, you would be a subsistence farmer and not have internet access or any of the advantages of modern life. Sorry but whining about “slavery” when living a highly privileged life just reveals your shallowness.

    • EH says:

      So the only reason to disagree with the essay is because it’s true. Well said!

  3. Oyster Boy says:

    I worked four days a week for the last seven years. Man was I spoiled.