Mission Mission

Missed Connection between my face and your boot:

Did you beat me up Friday night? – 27 (mission district)

(this is not a romantic listing) Friday around 4:30pm I started drinking at Zeitgeist. I don’t think I was drinking heavily, but probably started a little early. Better get some food to soak up some of the alcohol, I thought. So me and friend hit Aslom’s Rasoi for some tasty Indian food. Then we went back to his place around the corner and drank large amounts of liquor. This is where my memory temporarily stops.

I actually *did* believe, before opening the link, that it was romantic listing. So I’m a little sad about that. I do applaud him for trying to stay on an even keel with the help of some fart-inducing food — but beer before liquor!?

The next memory I have is me stumbling down the street with puke on my sleeve, dirt all over and feeling pretty grumpy. I got a cab from the Castro Bank of America and didn’t notice until the next morning that my jaw was swollen as hell and I had a black eye.

And now you’re that guy who ruins my great night in the Mission because I have to step around your massive pile of spicy-smelling vomit. Congratulations.

I can live with the swollen and bruised face, but not knowing how I got it is really eating me. I’m left to fill in the blanks on my own and I’m afraid I may have been a total jerk, or possibly just fell down some stairs?

I was wearing a white and gray striped sweater and had on a brown hat.

I love when stereotypes come true.

So, if you kicked my a$$ (or saw me get it kicked), why not take credit for it and let me know. I would really like to know what I did/said in order to receive this masterpiece beating.

I think this guy is leaving out a lot. This has probably happened before. I witness this every Friday night in the Mission — some young dude wearing a striped sweater and a hat (probably corduroy or knit with that little half bill that tough guys think make them look sensitive) vomits in the street, gets in a fight, and acts like it’s OK to turn a great neighborhood into the Vegas Strip.

P.S. Are you a ninja?

Maybe I kicked his ass because he says stupid shit like “Are you a ninja”?

Previously on Mission Mission:

Dick Cabbie Robs Fare, Leaves Her Curbside, Battered and Phoneless

‘Hamlet’ with Zeitgeist Employees

:: :: :: :: :: ::

I’m about to relate a story attributed to an anonymous source. As journalism class and The Wire taught us, be wary. The girl that told me this might be a compulsive liar, or I might be a compulsive liar, so be wary. Also, I make unwarranted disparaging remarks about Nairobi, for which I apologize in advance.

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Friend X: i had a very umm sobering experience last night
Allan: ?
Friend X: and im gonna try to avoid going out at least untill next weekend when my ex is here visitig
i was wasted really wasted
and a cabbie took advantage of that
he literally threw me out of the cab and on to the pavement and took off with my wallet and phone in there
Sent at 7:24 PM on Monday
Friend X: im covered in bruises and found blood in my hair and am pretty much terrified
Allan: omg
Friend X: yeah.
Allan: what is this, nairobi?
Friend X: exactly
my roommate came home today
and i said jenn i think i need a hug
and was completely serious
i just started crying
kinda a wreck
and in drinking too much ive been puking all day
which is sucky in general but it hurts too cuz im so bruised up
apparently someone found the wallet and called wcities today
i met up with them in the mission (while trying not to puke on the bus)
and got it back but he took all 100 in cash which i expected
but every penny too
and my muni pass
nairobi.
Allan: where did he pick you up?
Friend X: in front of kilowatt
Allan: wow that makes it mission relevant. can i put your story on my blog if i promise not to call you a hater?
Friend X: yeah if you just say ” a friend of mine”
or name changed
Allan: i just think the public has a right to know it’s fuckin nairobi out there.
guard your kidneys bitches!
Friend X: no kidding
im honestly wondering if i should go to a dr to make sure i dont have a concussion or anything
plus i feel like an idiot
and i was blackout drunk which is bad
and i dont remember a significant portion of my night
but i do remember what happened and how terrifying it was
Allan: yeah i’d grab a checkup
Sent at 7:35 PM on Monday
Friend X: i have a lump on my temple from where i hit my head
and am super bruised all over

So if you get blotto at Kilowatt or anywhere else, hold on to your organs.

Link to Kilowatt.

Link to more crime-related Mission Mission coverage.

Link to post in which I call somebody a hater.

Photo: stoney taxi view by jfredericksen