Masterpiece Beating After Zeitgeist Binge: Who Kicked This Guy's Ass?

Missed Connection between my face and your boot:

Did you beat me up Friday night? – 27 (mission district)

(this is not a romantic listing) Friday around 4:30pm I started drinking at Zeitgeist. I don’t think I was drinking heavily, but probably started a little early. Better get some food to soak up some of the alcohol, I thought. So me and friend hit Aslom’s Rasoi for some tasty Indian food. Then we went back to his place around the corner and drank large amounts of liquor. This is where my memory temporarily stops.

I actually *did* believe, before opening the link, that it was romantic listing. So I’m a little sad about that. I do applaud him for trying to stay on an even keel with the help of some fart-inducing food — but beer before liquor!?

The next memory I have is me stumbling down the street with puke on my sleeve, dirt all over and feeling pretty grumpy. I got a cab from the Castro Bank of America and didn’t notice until the next morning that my jaw was swollen as hell and I had a black eye.

And now you’re that guy who ruins my great night in the Mission because I have to step around your massive pile of spicy-smelling vomit. Congratulations.

I can live with the swollen and bruised face, but not knowing how I got it is really eating me. I’m left to fill in the blanks on my own and I’m afraid I may have been a total jerk, or possibly just fell down some stairs?

I was wearing a white and gray striped sweater and had on a brown hat.

I love when stereotypes come true.

So, if you kicked my a$$ (or saw me get it kicked), why not take credit for it and let me know. I would really like to know what I did/said in order to receive this masterpiece beating.

I think this guy is leaving out a lot. This has probably happened before. I witness this every Friday night in the Mission — some young dude wearing a striped sweater and a hat (probably corduroy or knit with that little half bill that tough guys think make them look sensitive) vomits in the street, gets in a fight, and acts like it’s OK to turn a great neighborhood into the Vegas Strip.

P.S. Are you a ninja?

Maybe I kicked his ass because he says stupid shit like “Are you a ninja”?

Previously on Mission Mission:

Dick Cabbie Robs Fare, Leaves Her Curbside, Battered and Phoneless

‘Hamlet’ with Zeitgeist Employees

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15 Responses to “Masterpiece Beating After Zeitgeist Binge: Who Kicked This Guy's Ass?”

  1. Puke on the sidewalk “ruined your whole night”? Awfully prissy.

    The guy is owning up to what he did. What do you want from him?

    I mean, beyond being bitchy about his injuries.

  2. Guy with Black Eye says:

    Hey there, I’m the guy who posted the missed connection. I’m gonna respond to your comments in reverse chronological order, m’kay? That way we can let the pendulum swing and end this conversation in a kinder tone, the way your blog entry started.

    Maybe I kicked his ass because he says stupid shit like “Are you a ninja”?

    Everyone knows that ninjas can bend time. I blacked out, otherwise known as time travel, and woke with a black eye. Wouldn’t it make sense that a ninja did it?

    I think this guy is leaving out a lot. This has probably happened before. I witness this every Friday night in the Mission — some young dude wearing a striped sweater and a hat (probably corduroy or knit with that little half bill that tough guys think make them look sensitive) vomits in the street, gets in a fight, and acts like it’s OK to turn a great neighborhood into the Vegas Strip.

    Of course I left out a lot, because I don’t remember. That’s why they call it a blackout. And I’m not proud that I went beyond measure with the drinking and pulled a Hasselhoff, but these things happen, even in the ever-so-innocent mission.

    [I was wearing a white and gray striped sweater and had on a brown hat.]

    I love when stereotypes come true.

    I mean, what’s that all about. How does anyone get around living in SF without accidentally putting a sweater and/or hat on?

    And now you’re that guy who ruins my great night in the Mission because I have to step around your massive pile of spicy-smelling vomit. Congratulations.

    It was lamb-with-raisins-in-a-coconut-sauce vomit. And there was mulch stuck to the puke stain on my tough guy sweater (btw, was Mr. Rogers tough?), so I know I puked in someone’s bushes or flowers, not the street or sidewalk where you have to step around it.

    I actually *did* believe, before opening the link, that it was romantic listing. So I’m a little sad about that. I do applaud him for trying to stay on an even keel with the help of some fart-inducing food — but beer before liquor!?

    You were interested enough to read my missed connection with the title “Did you beat me up Friday night?” thinking it WAS a romantic post? Interesting.

    But yes, the old adage, beer before liquor. I have to admit, that was my one juvenile mistake. My only excuse is that I’m new to SF and I was so awestruck to be living in this city that my judgement was temporarily skewed, which led me to continuously imbibe until I ended up a jack ass. Go ahead, you can haze me like a freshman now.

    Anyway, the whole point of my missed connection was to hopefully make right a possible squabble, or just have peace of mind knowing that I fell down the stairs to the BART and only hurt myself, no one else. Please rest assured that my behavior was the result of basic human error and I’m not wandering your streets waiting to menace you. I’m just a guy with a black eye trying to smile about it.

  3. Brock says:

    sounds like he was walking on too much sunshine.

  4. Guy with Black Eye says:

    What’s up? I submitted my response to your article about me. Not enough guts to post it?

  5. Guy with Black Eye says:

    I’m gonna try this again, maybe my comment was too long so I’ll cut it up… I’m gonna respond to your comments in reverse chronological order, m’kay? That way we can let the pendulum swing and end this conversation in a kinder tone, the way your blog entry started.

  6. Guy with Black Eye says:

    Maybe I kicked his ass because he says stupid shit like “Are you a ninja”?

    Everyone knows that ninjas can bend time. I blacked out, otherwise known as time travel, and woke with a black eye. Wouldn’t it make sense that a ninja did it?

  7. Guy with Black Eye says:

    You: Maybe I kicked his ass because he says stupid shit like “Are you a ninja”?<

    Me: Everyone knows that ninjas can bend time. I blacked out, otherwise known as time travel (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tQL_0OejZNU), and woke with a black eye. Wouldn’t it make sense that a ninja did it?

  8. Guy with Black Eye says:

    You: I think this guy is leaving out a lot. This has probably happened before. I witness this every Friday night in the Mission — some young dude wearing a striped sweater and a hat (probably corduroy or knit with that little half bill that tough guys think make them look sensitive) vomits in the street, gets in a fight, and acts like it’s OK to turn a great neighborhood into the Vegas Strip.

    Me: Of course I left out a lot, because I don’t remember. That’s why they call it a blackout. And I’m not proud that I went beyond measure with the drinking and pulled a Hasselhoff (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=82-FJyniP7A), but these things happen, even in the ever-so-innocent mission.

  9. Guy with Black Eye says:

    You (in response to: “I was wearing a white and gray striped sweater and had on a brown hat.”: I love when stereotypes come true.

    Me: I mean, what’s that all about. How does anyone get around living in SF without accidentally putting a sweater and/or hat on?

  10. Guy with Black Eye says:

    You: And now you’re that guy who ruins my great night in the Mission because I have to step around your massive pile of spicy-smelling vomit. Congratulations.

    Me: It was lamb-with-raisins-in-a-coconut-sauce vomit. And there was mulch stuck to the puke stain on my tough guy sweater (btw, was Mr. Rogers tough?), so I know I puked in someone’s bushes or flowers, not the street or sidewalk where you have to step around it.

  11. Guy with Black Eye says:

    You: I actually *did* believe, before opening the link, that it was romantic listing. So I’m a little sad about that. I do applaud him for trying to stay on an even keel with the help of some fart-inducing food — but beer before liquor!?

    Me: You were interested enough to read my missed connection with the title “Did you beat me up Friday night?” thinking it WAS a romantic post? Interesting.

    But yes, the old adage, “beer before liquor.” I have to admit, that was my one juvenile mistake. My only excuse is that I’m new to SF and I was so awestruck to be living in this city that my judgment was temporarily skewed, which led me to continuously imbibe until I ended up a jack ass. Go ahead, you can haze me like a freshman now.

    Anyway, the whole point of my missed connection was to hopefully make right a possible squabble, or just have peace of mind knowing that I fell down the stairs to the BART and only hurt myself, no one else. Please rest assured that my behavior was the result of basic human error and I’m not wandering your streets waiting to menace you. I’m just a guy with a black eye trying to smile about it.

  12. Allan Hough says:

    haha, i think mission mission just got served. plus i think that last sentence might kind of sum up all of human experience: “just a guy with a black eye trying to smile about it.” bravo, guy with black eye. that’s the way to live.

    PS mission mission doesn’t screen comments. the only reason a comment wouldn’t show up is if wordpress thinks it’s spam. having multiple links in a single comment might do it.

  13. [...] Zeitgeist — and drinking beer before liquor? We kind of had a laugh at his expense, but today he defended himself in the comments section, and totally won us [...]

  14. so, did he ever find out who kicked his ass?

  15. redt says:

    I was reliving old memories with a friend, and remembered that fateful day when I first came here about 2 years ago. I pulled this post up as validation that I used to be more of an ass than I am now. Yes, it’s been that long, and I’m proud to say I’ve had zero black eyes since. I did find out several months later that I had run into some people I knew at 500 Club and apparently, in the middle of deep conversation, my eyes glazed over and I collapsed like a rhino hit with a tranquilizer dart, subsequently crushing a bar stool. So, it is possible that an inanimate object kicked my ass. I suppose I’ll never know for sure.

    Thanks Mission Mission for keeping a record of my existence – this way I don’t have to remember on my own and can reserve more brain cells as offerings to the beer gods.

  16. Guy with Black Eye says:

    redt = Guy with Black Eye, can we change that?

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