“Fair warning” to hipsters and yuppies

A new tag on Samy’s Liquors at 24th and Bryant makes some pretty clear threats to a couple broad swaths of people. It instructs to kill hipsters and yuppies, two hard to define groups that were often derided among taggers in the last decade, but makes no mention of techies, the neighborhood slur du jour.

This is my fair warning to the hipsters + the yuppies!!
Get the [fuck?] Up Out the MISSION!! Before this [shit?] starts getting UGLY!!
you got 6 Months, Keep it Kickin!! If you don’t, it won’t be funny!
I Guarantee my Soldiers will GLADLY Come Out GUNNIN!!

The beholder’s eye

“It’s a clue.” he said as he slammed it down on my desk. I couldn’t see what he had put down. Firstly, because my eyes were closed. Secondly, because I wasn’t sitting at my desk, I was curled up beneath it. Vic, Helen and I had closed down the Latin American the night before. Or was it this morning? In any case, we had also opened it up this afternoon. That kind of week. I had gone back to the office to get some blogging in, but I don’t think I actually did any. And now all I could see were three pint-sized margaritas floating in front of me. I swatted at them fruitlessly.

“Hey. Hey!” Allan’s low top sneaker kicked me in the arm. “I need you on this. And I need it now.”

I was lying on what felt like a burrito butt and a gum wrapper was stuck to my cheek. My maid was on vacation. “Did you bring me coffee?” I croaked from my little dusty bed. It was just about five, and I couldn’t get as far into the afternoon daylight as I used to be able to without some slow drip.

“I’ll put a pot on. Let’s get to work,” Allan’s kicky feet walked away from my desk. “Commenters want to know, is this art?” I slowly crept out and slithered into my chair. The sideways sunlight cut through the office fog of dust, slicing it to ribbons with help from broken and uneven venetians.

“Where did you get this?” I asked, finally getting a look at the photo. It was an oddly shaped paint dribble. It almost seemed accidental, but something about the curvature suggested intent. Allan was hot on the trail of a new tagger in town. Someone who approached every untouched spot in the city like a beautifully blank surface with the potential to be a new Mona Lisa. Or at least one of Reyes’ letters.

“Don’t worry about that, just suss out the meaning.” Allan plopped a full coffee mug on my desk. The sound of porcelain against oak was pleasing. As was the hot drop that splashed out and burned my hand, teasingly. I took a long sip, searing the roof of my mouth and probably also my throat. The Mission Mission office’s snack budget didn’t reach as far as the fancy neighborhood boutique cafes. This was brown bean water. But it would do.

Half an hour later, I had this.

I brought it to Allan. He was lost in thought. “Someone’s been passive aggressively hate-faving my tweets. Can I just disable all engagement?”

I didn’t know. “I don’t know,” I responded. “Here’s your image.”

“Ariel. You’re so literal. This is quirky and whimsical, but it’s not what I need. This goofy lil’ ankle biter, this isn’t what we’re after. It’s great, it’s fine. You did your best. But take a look at these. I went ahead and had Extra Pizza Toppings take her own crack, and I think she found it. I think she found both of it.”

And he was right. She found something. “Go with this,” I said, “Something about people looking like their pets.”

“Huh.” Allan frowned. “Could it really be that banal?”

“You can’t spell banal without anal.” I grabbed my whisky flask from the middle drawer of my desk.

“What they hell is that?”

“I dunno. A joke? A headline? An out of context status update?” I grabbed my hoodie off the rack and flung the door open. “I’m meeting a commenter who’s ready to go legit, I’ll find you at The Alley, I’ll be there by the time the sun burns into Sutro.” I closed the door behind me, this day had posed too many questions and I was all out of answers. I stepped out onto Mission Street and stumbled East into the Capp Street wind.

Ellis Acting a 98 year old

Another week, another use of the Ellis Act to evict long time SF residents. 98 year old Mary Phillips has lived on Dolores Street for 50 years, and she’s now being told that she has to leave by her landlord, a real estate company called Urban Green Investments. According to KRON 4, when she heard the news, Mary said “I didn’t sit down and cry, I just refused to believe it. They’re going to have to take me out of here feet first.” She says that she has never been late on her rent and has nowhere else to go. Heartbreaking. This is really where we’re at.

Way back in DotCom1 when my single mom and I were illegally evicted from our Dolores Street apartment, the Tenants Union was a big help. You can become a member or donate to them on their site.

UPDATE: According to Business Insider, Urban Green has released a statement revealing that they will allow Mary Phillips to remain in her apartment for the rest of her life, rent free.

“Contrary to recent reports, we have always planned to provide for Mary in this way,” said McCloskey. “We have made no comment about Ms. Phillips’ situation to this date as we have been negotiating with her attorney in good faith, but the recent media reports have made today’s comment necessary in order to clarify the facts.”

UPDATE 2: According to some, the deal that McCloskey wrote to Business Insider about was never acceptable to Phillips. The larger issue for her may be that her caregiver, Sarah Brandt, is still being evicted, making the living situation too unsafe for Phillips to remain. Though I’m seeing conflicting takes on who’s offering what and when they offered it. More on Brandt and her relationship with Phillips here.

Muni Metro map of bars

A quite handy new guide to drinking your way through the city and letting your friendly neighborhood Muni operator be your designated driver. Thrillist put this map together, and breaks it down further on their site.

Career advice for Thao

Thao Nguyen, of local band Thao & the Get Down Stay Down, is looking for a new career in the fun new short The Shepherd and The Guardian. Also starring local illustrator Wendy MacNaughton and local author Daniel Handler, the piece is number 7 in a series of short films made with filmmaker Lauren Tabak. Some pretty good lines and deadpanning here, especially by the kid.

You can see more from the series on Thao & the Get Down Stay Down’s media page.

Clarion Alley zoetrope

Muybridge in Clarion Alley.

Probable Edweard Muybridge tribute, powered by wind.

Wachowski’s Sense8 shooting at Pride

I hope everyone’s enjoying Pride Weekend out there in the sun. Don’t forget to drink water. Seriously. We’ve all got to do our part in this awful drought, but drink a lot of water.

The Matrix filmmakers, The Wachowski Siblings, were back in our neighborhood shooting for their upcoming Netflix series yesterday. The series includes a diverse cast from all over the world, including a transgender blogger, which may be the connection to Pride. Though from what we see here it looks like they’re highlighting two cisgender women, so maybe not? I’d hope and assume the Wachowski’s would give a trans role to a trans person. (Correction: Jamie Clayton is trans, thanks, Andy. Did some searching and somehow didn’t find that.) They certainly seem to be willing to work with the communities that in which they’re shooting, Mission Local has an article about production collaborating with CAMP to shoot in Clarion Alley.

Cristiano Valli caught some good shots of them at work during Dykes on Bikes.

Andy Wachowski on set.

Jamie Clayton getting direction from Lana Wachowski.

Jamie Clayton and Freema Agyeman taking a selfie in character.

Lana Wachowski in the zone.

Bird Haunters

Snappy answers

Last week Allan asked me to interpret some gross crap on a bathroom wall. Inspired by Al Jaffee‘s Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions, I gave it a crack.

When I was a kid I got the little paper back collections from MAD Magazine, and one of my favorites was Jaffee’s, both because they were hilarious, and also because they offered the opportunity for me to put my own punchlines in.

Insert your own here.

Some originals from Jaffee’s book, with my adolescent-mind additions, after the jump.

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Drama Talk & Drinks: “We are left with a dun dun dun di di di dun di di”

This week, Katie & Brittany went to see a musical based on a movie that sparked a romance that turned into a Broadway show and then came to our little town. Here’s their report:

Remember the 2006 movie Once? I know it was a long time ago but we still remember getting “Falling Slowly” stuck in our heads.

So we were really excited to check out the stage adaptation of Once last week. The musical was nominated for 11 Tony awards and won 8 of them. Between the critically acclaimed movie and all the awards, needless to say, we went into this show with extremely high expectations.

Katie: What I’ve noticed about going to SHN shows is that the production value is so high and the actors are so talented that even if it’s not an amazingly written show it’s always really entertaining. Always.

Brittany: It’s true. Once is so interesting. It was more like real life, which means depressing. At the end I definitely was left saying “Wait that’s it? That’s the end?” No happy ending here. Which I guess is refreshing because most Broadway shows are tied up in 2 hours.

K: Yeah, tied up in a pretty bow with a happy ending and we are left with a dun dun dun di di di dun di di. Not Once. But what beautiful music and amazing talent.

B: It’s really music anyone would like. I would listen to it with someone who didn’t like show tunes and I wouldn’t be embarrassed.

K: One thing that I struggled with was the format of the show. The fact that the set was a pub, but even though we are in a realistic pub setting it’s used mostly as other locations, like the vacuum shop, the music store, his house. It would have worked better for me if the set was not a specific place. I thought they were going to be a little more creative with turning this movie into a musical but instead they grabbed moments from the movie and threw it awkwardly on a stage designed as a pub. Luckily the actors and the music were so good that was enough to make it work. But for me I don’t think it was an example of great writing or a well constructed musical.

B: They really did themselves a disservice by having such a detailed set behind them which made it harder for your imagination to transform it into other things. It was a beautiful set though.

K: Really beautiful, really detailed. Just not needed. I thought they were going to take the story and the music from the movie and present it in a different, a very creative, theatery way, which didn’t exactly happen.

B: I’ve never seen the movie so I didn’t come in with certain expectations or context. It took me a little bit to get into the staging, but they were good enough actors that midway through the first act it worked for me. I did really like the stylized movement.

K: I just feel that they should of taken it further. I mean there is already a movie. I can sit in my living room and watch the movie. What is going to make me want to see this on stage? And it’s that, it’s the stylized movement, it’s the musicians – who did a really good job – that’s why I’m going to want to see it live.

B: And I think when they went there it was really good. All of the musicians were amazing. I do wonder how I would be feeling if I saw the movie.

K: I think you would have had a different perspective. The production was really well done though. It was a concert with a story. The lead girl was so good. Her voice was almost like a violin. So beautiful. Loved how the lead guy would get crazy on the guitar. The music definitely makes it worth going.

The Verdict:
Once is a great night out. The actors are super impressive. As always SHN brings through a tour with Broadway level sets and production values.

The Drama Talk:
While some of us struggle to walk and text at the same time, these actors act, sing, play the accordion, change the set and dance in front of an audience of 100′s all without skipping a beat. If you haven’t seen the movie, wait. The play doesn’t elaborate as much on the film as we may have liked, so if you can keep the plot a surprise, you may enjoy the show more.

Drinks:
This production offers a special opportunity to go onstage before the show and during intermission to have a drink, so we did just that. Brittany had a beer and Katie had a chardonnay. As we were sipping our beverages, that were served in a plastic SHN sippy cup, actors came onstage and started playing music . . . right next to us . . . in arms reach. A really cool experience worth the really expensive unremarkable drinks. You don’t need to get a drink to be on the stage though, just get to the theater early since they limit the number of people allowed on stage at a time.

Once runs through 7/15 at the the Curran Theatre, and tickets can be purchased through their website. Ticket prices vary from $65-$210 depending on where you sit.

Ariel Dovas

Posts: 688

Email: ariel (at) missionmission.org

Website: http://www.flickr.com/photos/eviloars/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/eviloars

Biographical Info:

This guy moved to the neighborhood from his hometown of Santa Cruz in '93. Now he makes movies and does a bunch of other weird stuff.