Mission Resident Shits on Her Own Apartment Building

People, please, if you only have one restroom in your apartment and it’s occupied by one of your housemates, do your neighbors and your dignity a  favor and just walk down to the nearest cafe.  Buy a scone or a cheap coffee if necessary, because it’s really better than the alternative, sent to us by an anonymous reader:

Short story:  I heard exceptionally loud “gurgling” noises from my 2nd floor window on Sun. afternoon.  I looked out the window and saw my fat Hispanic upstairs neighbor squatting and shitting onto the side of the building like a dog.  More accurately, she was blowing out a stream of diarrhea that looked like mustard sludge. I was totally blown away and yelled “what are you crazy!!??”  She looked up, made eye contact (I snapped the first pic at that moment), lowered her skirt, turned around, picked up her bag and just walked out like nothing happened!!!!  Even crackheads have more dignity and wipe afterwards!!!

NSFW pics after the jump . . .

Dear God

Make it stop

Never cry shitwolf.

Yeah, we have her address but we’re not gonna give it out publicly.  However, write whatever you want in the comments and I promise I will personally print them out and mail them to her so she doesn’t get away with this scott free.

94 Responses to “Mission Resident Shits on Her Own Apartment Building”

  1. henry says:

    Jesus, why did I decide to click that link while eating a sandwich?

  2. Vic Wong says:

    Pics, therefore it did happen. =(

  3. piratesnack says:

    When I first read this, I pictured her conducting an aerial bombardment by hanging her butt out of the upstairs window.

  4. Noich says:

    That is why our neighborhood is qhat it is. Have some f-ing respect for yourself and your community.

  5. China says:

    Oh my people, why do you always disappoint me! When I was 10 years old and visiting relatives in Mexico for the first time since toddlerhood, the entire family decided to go to the park. Aunts, uncles, a million cousins, everyone. Eventually I had to use the bathroom and of course there was no bathroom in this presumably publicly maintained park. Someone handed me some paper towels and told me to go under a tree. Even at 10 I was appalled and refused to poop under a tree in a public park, but everyone insisted. I had to go so bad, and was so scarred I cried but still refused. Everyone made fun of me for the rest of our stay in Mexico. No one else was too good to poop under a tree in the park and every now and then people would wander away to take care of business and come back smug and refreshed. Since I haven’t been back since, I’m sure they remember me as their prissy Americanized cousin who wouldn’t poop under a tree.

    • Andy says:

      To slightly alter a recently Onion headline:

      “What’s one poop in the park going to matter?” 3,000 people wonder.

  6. GETBUFF says:

    THANK GOD MY NEIGHBORS JUST STICK TO CALLING EACH OTHER CRACKHEADS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET.

    THIS IS AWFUL. AWFUL.

  7. This is the best thing I’ve read all day.

  8. bodah says:

    This is the best post on MM in several months. I SMELL Pulitzer.

  9. elle woods says:

    gotta say that was pretty normal when i lived on albion. man, i coulda written a whole blog about living there. maybe i should have. only moved two and a half blocks away and it feels like a whole new neighborhood.

  10. olu says:

    this is shameful and gross.

  11. mf says:

    what is wrong with you elitist assholes? buy a scone or a cup of coffee? what the fuck? do you think everyone can afford that? and as for you, ms. self-righteous indignant photo-taker, all I can say is- have you ever had a bad stomachache with nowhere to go and wished you had the guts to go outside? and ever heard of preserving or protecting someone’s dignity? why in the world are you taking photos of this and publishing? so that you can feel properly hygenically self-righteous?

    • piratesnack says:

      I was wondering how long it would take before somebody played the “we can’t expect poor people to poop in toilets, that’s oppressive” card.

    • b says:

      Right. Post your address, I’ll hit up Cancun and we’ll see how self-righteous this shit is.

    • mcas says:

      I know there are some morons who comment on this blog (present company include)– and I know some super lefties (present company included)– but man, there is no way this comment is *not* a parody troll.

      • the chaffee says:

        dear god i hope so.

      • piratesnack says:

        I would wager it’s not a parody. But I was also secretly predicting that somebody would call out the author for needlessly describing the poop perpetrator as “fat” and “Hispanic.” I normally expect someone to argue that these descriptors are irrelevant to the story, and their inclusion is therefore sizeist and racist. Come on, people, don’t let me down on this one!

    • henry says:

      reread the original post and you’ll see the pooper is in fact her upstairs neighbor; she does have a place to go shit.

      Haha, protect her dignity? Look at that photo and tell me you are serious?

  12. the chaffee says:

    seriously? you have to be joking mf….its her UPSTAIRS NEIGHBOR.

    WHO HAS A PLACE….WITH A BATHROOM….UPSTAIRS.

    WHO IS GOING TO CLEAN THAT UP?

    DO YOU EXPECT US RICH ELITISTS TO PAY MORE TAXES TO GET SOMEONE ELSE TO DO IT?

    IF YOU ARE SO SYMPATHETIC..YOU GO CLEAN IT

  13. ELMER says:

    Haven’t you ever had to let the crappe (cant spell diharrea right now) flow NOW!?!?!?. Not everyone can make it to a crapper on time…..maybe she’s been eating at all the cutty foodcarts and slop-du-jour shacks you yuppie(wannabe)foodies and gutter gourmands are always touting. Real talk.

  14. SlobDog says:

    Document and send to landlord?

  15. Morgonzo Dos says:

    she needs the diarrheaphragm.

  16. chalkman says:

    At least she went on her own building….

  17. tea says:

    Man, I wish you got a better shot of her face so you could really humiliate her publicly. Wait – she took a shit on the side of her building – I don’t think she gives a shit (no pun) what anyone thinks of her.

  18. Ramón says:

    She di’nt!! Oh yes she DID!! Dang!
    OK – I don’t want to get into the minutiae of it, but she doesn’t appear to wipe her mega-large ass either! And she’s sporting un culo y pico too.

  19. saltychump says:

    The question I have is who cleaned it up?

  20. Ramón says:

    I’m surprised that her head didn’t go thru the opposite wall, behind the jet-thrust that came outta that ass.
    If you people have washers and dryers in your building, keep in mind that she going to wash those skid marks out in the same machine that you use…….with tepid water.

  21. I fucking love Mission Mission. Seriously.

  22. bonusj says:

    your upstairs neighbor is sick… so you get out the camera and literally post her shit on the internet.

    ah, mission mission. i wish that i had the free-time to cultivate such a deeply supportive community. really, what sort of a prick would really tell someone who is dumping in their panties to go buy a scone. will remember your special love next time i piss on your fixies. karma will be swinging back down on all of y’all… shit washes off, but you twats? ick.

    • The Shit Fairy says:

      Look, there isn’t some magical, invisible shit-cleaning fairy who sprinkles fairy dust poop-be-gone that sends all the toxic shit particles down to the special rung of hell where Hitler lives. It’s just as humiliating to the unfortunate who has make a living cleaning up diarrhea off the side of buildings as it is for the woman who can’t wait for one of her family members to get off the shitter/ just go in a plastic bag/mop bucket/yadda yadda. Anything but defacing public space with something that can make people very sick. And, having stepped in human shit several times in the mission, i’m gonna contest that shit doesn’t, in fact, wash off all that well.

  23. Aaron says:

    Ah! This brings back sweet memories of the place I rented off of Cesar Chavez and Mission St. We would wake up to an unholy stench and look around outside expecting to find dead skunks bathing in expired cream cheese and instead find logs (and I don’t mean journals) steaming in the dawn’s early light. It was always draw-straws to discover who the loser was that would have to hose it down the driveway or attempt to clean it up (and surely barf at least three times in the process). Oh. It didn’t matter that there was a goddamn UNLOCKED portopotty parked at the home next door for several months! Kudos, ladies.

  24. lanablana says:

    What is more disgusting to me that you find it appropriate to post some poor woman having diarhhea the internet. And that you took pictures, then send it to a blog that tons of people read to further denigrate a woman who has obviously already had a pretty fucking bad day.

    “Mission Mission”? More like Mission Marina. Obviously you’ve never gone to a complete rager in the Mission, oh around 6 years ago, seen some killer punk bands in some dude’s back yard, smoked pot with a homeless guy, made out with a local celebrity and then pissed between a few cars. Oh, you haven’t? Probably because you moved here from Sacramento and work at Google! Fuck this blog.

    GO BACK TO CHESTNUT STREET

    • dickinburlingame says:

      El gordita es mi hermana, putos!

      But seriously:

      GO BACK TO CHESTNUT STREET! LOL!

    • avenger says:

      i read this blog and see these kinds of comments often enough to declare a new rule:

      you stop being punk rock when you have to turn to blog comments sections to blast yr anti-hipster rage. smoking pot isn’t edgy. interacting with homeless people isn’t edgy. shows in backyards aren’t edgy. if you lived in sacramento, this is the norm, oh around right now.

      but yeah, dude, taking pictures of people having a bad day is a dick move.

    • Buffet Boss says:

      Lanablana, R u Kidding?? what should they have done? ran down to help this “poor woman” or perhaps i should ask, what you would have done?

      Obviously u r not as cool as u claim to have been 6 years ago, quit living in your over glorified past..

      I was born and raised in SF, Fuck U if u shit on my hometown!!

      Mission Mission ROCKS

    • jackalacka says:

      6 years ago??? oooohhh woooow. oooooold schooool. you probably enjoy the smell of your own farts, too. ianablana, you are an idiot!

  25. Sel says:

    Once saw a lady doing the same thing in the gutter at the corner of 26th and Valencia. There used to be some restaurant there with outdoor tables (before Toad’s) and people where just eating and talking all around her while she did her thing…

    Love this place, public poopers and all.
    Like the blog, but I agree with avenger. dick move posting the pics

  26. greg says:

    Its no big deal. My buddies in high school used to poop on the side of buildings all the time.

  27. Edward says:

    No one defecates in public out of sheer laziness: busted toilets, stomach problems and/or mental illnesses almost always play a role. In those situations people don’t have a choice, and this is probably no exception.

    Shit is ugly and shitting in public is unseemly no doubt, but the opportunistic act of taking those pictures and putting them on the internet is far more so. When you put a camera between you and your fellow man for some such exploitative purpose (guy gets punched, homeless guy loses his pants, my neighbor gets dehumanized) you’re in the picture too and the shit gets on you. I am personally way more disgusted by what’s going on behind the camera here.

    I’ve taken my fair share of photos of shit on walls (http://berlining.wordpress.com/2009/09/28/dog-feces-round-up/), so I’m clearly not averse to the topic, but the big difference is that no person–especially not my neighbor–was naked, compromised and presumably unwilling to be in those pictures. It concerns me many people I encounter lately seem to think that the right to not be exploited ends at the front door. If you have a choice about whether to publicly shit on someone/something, have some respect and don’t.

    In my opinion, the real shame here goes to some anonymous photographer and to the author of this post.

    • piratesnack says:

      So, seriously, you think it is wrong to take a picture of a person in a public space unless you get their consent? For real?

    • Cranky Old Mission Guy says:

      Wow, wordpress is really fucked up.

      No, wait, if you can read this, my commenting skills must be fucked up.

      Hey, wait! If you can read this, but my previous reply didn’t appear (after several attempts), then someone else must be fucked up.

      Oh I’m confused.

      • Andrew Sarkarati says:

        i was waiting for your take on this!

      • Cranky Old Mission Guy says:

        (I believe WordPress wants me to take the link out my comment. Let’s try that.)

        Actually, we see people evacuate their bladders, in public, in the Mission, out of laziness (OK, drunken laziness), every day of the week. And we see the evidence of public pooing likewise every day. It’s not much of a leap, is it? And that woman clearly has a liver problem, just going by the color and consistency of her poo.

        Mental illness, however, seems far more to the point — and acting out health problems is a well-known signal of mental problems. My advice would be to report this woman to The Center For Disease Control, so as to get her the help for her mental illness which she so clearly desires (as evidenced by her public display).

  28. tea says:

    Hmmmm…well, that’s the problem with shitting in public – it’s in PUBLIC! If she wanted privacy she could have gone upstairs to her apt and pooped.

    Lanablana cracks me up. She thinks it’s “punk rock” to shit in public?! Go back to Chestnut Street if you don’t like it! Har. I am assuming she is prolly about 22 and from the midwest. True hilarity. I heart Buffet Boss and agree 100%.

  29. Mark Gunson says:

    thanks for sharing. not.

  30. Teke says:

    Shittin’ between buildings in the Mission…Priceless!

  31. John Doh! says:

    Gives new meaning to the term “Yellow Journalism.”

  32. superlative judgement says:

    Reminds me of the time I found a neatly coiled present in a shoe placed on my stoop. How do you poop in a shoe?

  33. Common Tater says:

    The sick person is the one behind the camera…..I’d be more mortified getting caught shooting someone evacuating than getting caught making a pile of sick outdoors. How can you live with yourself? How will you face her on your stoop? You got problems, buddy.

  34. Zack Brewer says:

    thanks for the trailer park boys reference. i lol’d

  35. Fooph says:

    WHAT A FOUL BEAST!!!!

  36. DJ Scat says:

    I guess we know who’s shit don’t stink!

    even when my dog has the runs, i bag it. So does almost every other dog owner…

    You should post the pictures in multiple locations around your apt/block.

  37. LD says:

    This is how it works, if you are an adult, shit in a toilet. It’s called being sanitary. Oh and an adult.

  38. Fucking Bitch says:

    I think you guys should start posting pictures of hamster girls blackout drunk and/or passed out high on the streets of the Mission with their skirts hiked up so you can see their underwear. That’d be hella awesome. Yr welcome for the inspiration.

  39. hez says:

    i guess she hasn’t seen these posted around the mission:

  40. Dave says:

    Cool out man. She’s just trying to live her life.

  41. raimondo says:

    All Hail Princess Poopie!

  42. Sue says:

    OMG, you should blow up the pics and send it to her, with the crap blown way up, so she can get disgusted by the act she carried out. What a load of disgust.

  43. [...] Mission Resident Shits on Her Own Apartment Building « Mission Mission [...]

  44. porkbelly says:

    My friend, who lived in a ground level apt. with an entrance off to the side, always thought bums were peeing on her door (it reeked of pee). When she went on vacation I volunteered to grab her mail. What I discovered shocked me: the nice immigrant couple who were in charge of outdoor maintenance were the perpetrators! I caught the husband yellow handed. My point being I think there is clash of cultural appropriateness here. In Holland immigrants take sensitivity training classes informing them of what is/is not appropriate. If these folks were legal, that might help.

  45. Steve says:

    I am appalled at all the people defending this.. This lady literally leaves her apartment, goes downstairs, walks to the alley, hikes up her skirt, blasts out a heinous shit all over the ground/wall.

    Who the hell does that?

    I’m just assuming everyone defending this lady literally just pulls their pants down and shits wherever the fuck they are, just because they kinda have to shit. “Fuck looking for a toilet, I gotta poop” *BLURGHHHHHH* “Ahhh how refreshing”.

  46. Penn says:

    Maybe you should have reminded her to wipe!

  47. Em says:

    yeah well at least she was in the space between buildings. i have had to clean up the SAME thing from the FRONT of my house, on the street in the driveway. if YOU want to defend it YOU clean it.

    likewise, if the city allows people to do stuff like this, since they dont do anything about it, they also have the obligation to make a hole somewhere (maybe the politicians’ backyards?) so there is an option for those who need it.

  48. Bing says:

    Here’s the website for the Department of Public Health:
    http://www.sfdph.org/dph/EH/codeEnforce/default.asp

    Whoever sent this in should be filing a complaint about the filthy conditions the neighbor is creating.

  49. vincent says:

    Photographer should be ashamed. At the very least blur her face! And all those who rush to judgment should be ashamed too. How can we know what circumstances that lady was/is. She may lost bowel control and later returned and cleaned it up for all we know. She may be mentally unsound. She clearly needed help not some narrow minded and vindictive photographer and not the jokers comments here. Have a heart people.

    • piratesnack says:

      Vincent, aren’t you rushing to judge the photographer? Do you know the circumstances that led him to post the photograph? He may be mentally unsound! He clearly needs help and not some narrow minded, vindictive blog commenter.

  50. JohnJohn says:

    I sent this to a friend, who was more articulate than I am. “what asshole takes pictures of someone in a humiliating and degrading situation and then posts them on a blog making sure to note that the woman is Hispanic?”

  51. sfdilettante says:

    You should forward these pics to the building’s management so the tenant, who clearly has no respect for her fellow neighbors or the property, can be evicted for creating a nuisance. If the story ended with her hosing the area down, her behavior could arguably be forgivable, but this is ridiculous.

  52. Oliver Jones says:

    I applaud her efforts to keep yuppies out the Mission. Good lookin out! This happens every day in every passageway in the mission….stay out…no molestar.

  53. olen says:

    She obviously couldn’t get to the toilet on time, you asshole. Scone? Fuck off. You might consider apologizing. One day, when you find yourself suddenly touching cloth on the street in broad daylight from that soured Belgian import you had the night before and can’t see straight from poopy-pants panic, the dilemma of choosing currant or strawberry will pale in comparison to figuring out what exactly to do about the warm stream of lentil soup running down your legs, pooling at the base of the pastry case.

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  56. gm says:

    Why is everyone getting so agro? C’mon We’ve all had some pretty close calls. This lady got caught and it’s fucking hilarious! Sucks for her, awesome for us. Posting this is awesome but having her relive probably one of the most panicked moments in her fucking life by mailing her the responses is going a little far. She didn’t shit on your stoop.

  57. Its disgutsting and terrible and dispicable and all that stuff but I cant stop thinking about how disgusting it must have been to just walk away after dropping a tonne of diarrhea and it possibly dribbling down her leg!

  58. [...] 1. Mission Resident Shits on Her Own Apartment Building [...]

  59. AnonOfCourse says:

    I’d still hit….

  60. Sorry For Her says:

    I actually felt sorry for her. When you had to go, you had to go. No one CHOOSE to shit in the ally. I guess between shitting all over herself and the ally, I would have just find a spot and release it.

  61. [...] shits outside her own apartment building [with pics] http://missionmission.wordpress.com/…ment-building/ Mission Resident Shits on Her Own Apartment Building People, please, if you only have one [...]

  62. Mike says:

    To be fair, that’s probably what they do in Mexico…just saying…

    • NIMBY says:

      maybe so but… this isn’t Mexico. I don’t go down there and flush my toilet paper after I drop a deuce just ’cause I do it here in the States.

  63. merkin muffley says:

    Where is smell-a-net when we need it? I see person doing something, but without further evidence I can’t be sure what that pig is up to.

  64. Soul Kitchen says:

    i read all of these comments laughing my ass off. people freaking out trying to defend her because she was shitting on the side of a building, no wonder california is in the dumps!

    but damn! that women needs to lay off the fiber!

  65. heather says:

    You should’ve printed out the picture of her and tacked it to the house above the pile. lol

  66. [...] Mission Resident Shits on Her Own Apartment Building « Mission MissionMar 1, 2010 … 91 Responses to “Mission Resident Shits on Her Own Apartment Building”. henry says: March 1, 2010 at 12:21 pm … [...]

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