‘Hipster traps’ laid in NYC

I was gonna be all, “Who would want a warm beer?” But c’mon, hipster parties always feature a big warm box of Pabsts sitting on a counter getting warmer and warmer with every passing second. Maybe somebody needs to invent a party-ice cinch to go with that six-pack cinch everybody loves so much.

I like the glasses though. I need that color.

P.S. This looks pretty dangerous, right?

[Photo by Alister Cameron] [via Lindsey]

14 Responses to “‘Hipster traps’ laid in NYC”

  1. Corpus Nerd says:

    This trap wouldn’t work because hipsters are too skinny. They would just pull their rail thin wrists through the clamp like Mr. Fantastic from the Fantastic Four. Also, PBR went out of style about 7 years ago.

  2. G says:

    Yeah this trap is sooooo 2005 . Only low end Alts wear wayfarer knockoffs.
    As for pbr pffft no way! Hipsters only drink energy and alcohol . Maybe
    If it were a pint of svedka and a large redbull it might work but I doubt it.
    Hipsters are too good to drink or smoke something off the street now if it were
    A kit you could buy at a co op in a tote bag yah but nah try again bro.

  3. tacotron says:

    this is a flava flav trap

  4. tinachristina says:

    On the hipster note, since when has “hipster” been an “Ambiance” category on Yelp? See Gracias Madre on Yelp for example. Not sure how I feel about this.

  5. jrheard says:


    you’re probably not going to believe this, but i’m the programmer who implemented that feature on yelp. so i can tell you that it’s been a category since february 24, 2011.


  6. billy says:

    yay! way to implement that feature! i think it’s totes valid.

  7. Pp says:

    before everybody got lost
    A. hipster=weird person musician artist poet etc
    B . pink sunglasses+ neon bike chain + pbr +etc etc=urban outfitters clone…
    the disappearence of the middle class continues to make Americans into bitchy clods but i’m a hipster and that’s why i live in the city, to make art and have fun, eat it

    or move to Antioch or some shit where boring white people all get along

  8. one says:

    earthquakes tsunamis what happened with the volcano nuclear disaster.

    this is the first laugh i’ve had for days.

  9. jeff says:

    I disagree, Pp. I think that:

    A. bohemian= weird person musician artist poet etc.
    B. hipster= rather normal young person from an affluent family trying to fool people into believing that she or he is a bohemian.

  10. BK says:

    Yelp probably chose to implement that feature because every goddamn review I read on there is from some asshole writing something to the effect of, “Well, overall it was good, but there were too many judgmental hipster-types there for my taste, so me and my square significant other felt really uncomfortable: 2 stars.” It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out whether you’re going to an establishment where “hipsters” can be found. Cheap beer/drinks? Check. Indie and/or ironic retro soundtrack? Check. Vegan food or artisan coffee? Check. Located in or around the Mission/Lower Haight/etc.? I think you’re catching on… Why does it work that way? Because MOST of us are young, relatively broke, fans of music and art that want to live in a place where the people and things we love can be found with relative ease. Just shut the fuck up and stop worrying about what other people are doing and try to enjoy your own life.

  11. Corpus Nerd says:

    Are You A Hipster? Take the quiz and find out!

    1. The Rapture is

    a) What happens at the end of the world

    b) Not as good as Moving Units

    c) A new brand of Jeans

    d) Why I go to church

    e) Overrated

    2. The Postal Service is

    a) What I use to mail things

    b) Ben Gibbard’s side project

    c) A punk band

    d) A new coffee shop

    e) A website

    3. Screaming Females is

    a) My favorite porn site

    b) A new ride at Six Flags

    c) The best new band of 2010

    d) An S&M club

    e) A kind of candy

    4. Converse is

    a) What I do at dinner

    b) Not as cool as vintage cowboy boots

    c) What I have been wearing since 1992

    d) Inappropriate attire for my workplace, home, or school

    e) Cooler if you wear Jack Purcells

    5. Thurston Moore is

    a) A 16th century English Baron

    b) A writer for Warner Brothers

    c) A catcher for the Seattle Mariners

    d) A God

    e) My friend on MySpace

    6. Calvin Johnson is

    a) A true poet of the age

    b) A wide receiver for the Detroit Lions

    c) A guy I went to high school with

    d) An insurance broker

    e) An idiosyncratic modification of a soy chai latte

    7. I wear vintage clothes because

    a) I’m poor

    b) It’s a way of protesting consumerism

    c) It’s funny

    d) I shop at Macy’s

    e) Used clothing is gross

    8. I ride a

    a) Cinelli

    b) Vespa

    c) Mo-Ped

    d) Chevy Trailblazer

    e) Bus

    9. Emo is

    a) A word for spoon in the Eskimo language

    b) A large flightless bird that lives in Australia

    c) A religion founded by Ian MacKaye

    d) My own personal style

    e) I have no idea

    10. I’m vegan because

    a) It’s wrong to eat animals

    b) It’s cool to be really skinny

    c) I’m not vegan

    d) I had a hamburger for lunch

    e) I volunteer for PETA

    11. I studied _______ in college

    a) Business

    b) Criminology

    c) Biology

    d) Graphic Design

    e) American Literature

    12. South By Southwest is

    a) The best Alfred Hitchcock film

    b) Not as cool as it used to be

    c) Where I met my husband or wife

    d) A real estate convention

    e) The direction in which I walk to get to 7-11

    13. PBR is

    a) My favorite beer

    b) A good beer for the price

    c) The most ethical beer based on it’s ties to unions

    d) Not as cool as it used to be

    e) A terrible drink that only stupid and poor people would buy

    14. Levi’s jeans are:

    a) For yuppies desperately trying to prove their American-ness

    b) Not as cool as Cheap Monday or Nudie Jeans

    c) I try and buy vintage and usually remove any labels because it’s more authentic

    d) Inappropriate attire for my workplace, home, or school

    e) On sale at Urban Outfitters

    15. Myspace is

    a) A place for friends

    b) Still a good place to put out your band’s music and network with other musicians

    c) Inappropriate for my workplace, home, or school

    d) Not as cool as Friendster

    e) Where I meet prostitutes

    16. Make Out Club is

    a) A bar

    b) An underground kissing club

    c) Where I met my husband or wife

    d) I have no idea

    e) An online social network that was cooler than Myspace and Friendster and Facebook combined

    17. Eminem is

    a) Stupid

    b) My favorite musician

    c) A candy that melts in your mouth

    d) Noteworthy for his work with Dr. Dre

    e) Inappropriate for my workplace, home, or school

    18. Urban Outfitters is

    a) Where I shop

    b) For young people

    c) Revolutionizing the fashion industry

    d) For posers

    e) What is Urban Outfitters?

    19. Blogging is

    a) A waste of time

    b) Fun

    c) Where I write poetry

    d) A serious breach of personal privacy

    e) How I make a living!

    20. Green Day is

    a) Something to do with St. Patrick’s Day

    b) The best punk band ever

    c) Somehow becoming cool again in a highly and unexpected circular fashion

    d) The way I mark my calendar when I start my diet

    e) Annoying because the lead singer uses a fake British accent


    1. a) 1 b) 5 c) 3 d) 2 e) 4
    2. a) 1 b) 5 c) 3 d) 2 e) 4
    3. a) 1 b) 4 c) 5 d) 3 e) 2
    4. a) 2 b) 4 c) 5 d) 1 e) 3
    5. a) 2 b) 3 c) 1 d) 5 e) 4
    6. a) 5 b) 1 c) 3 d) 2 e) 4
    7. a) 3 b) 4 c) 5 d) 2 e) 1
    8. a) 4 b) 3 c) 5 d) 1 e) 2
    9. a) 3 b) 2 c) 5 d) 4 e) 1
    10. a) 5 b) 4 c) 1 d) 2 e) 3
    11. a) 1 b) 2 c) 3 d) 4 e) 5
    12. a) 3 b) 4 c) 5 d) 1 e) 2
    13. a) 2 b) 3 c) 4 d) 5 e) 1
    14. a) 4 b) 2 c) 5 d) 1 e) 3
    15. a) 3 b) 5 c) 2 d) 4 e) 1
    16. a) 2 b) 3 c) 5 d) 1 e) 4
    17. a) 5 b) 2 c) 3 d) 4 e) 1
    18. a) 4 b) 2 c) 3 d) 5 e) 1
    19. a) 1 b) 4 c) 3 d) 2 e) 5
    20. a) 3 b) 2 c) 5 d) 1 e) 4

    Your Hipster Rating:

    90-100 Total Hipster: You’d better go grab some vegetarian sushi and a few cases of cheap beer because guests are about to start arriving at your house show/indie label showcase with significant industry reps arriving at any minute. Hurry!

    80-90: Cool Person: You have good instincts, but you’re not paying attention! You need to go to more shows and hang out with more musicians to achieve better style.

    70-80: Nerd or Yuppie: If you really want to be a hipster, quit your job and start a rock band or go to art school. It might mean a pay cut, but you will look and act cooler.

    60-70: Working Adult Professional: You have no instincts for sub-culture. You are boring, but you run the world. Good for you!

    60 or below: Normal: Why are you reading this?

  12. d says:

    You see, it seems like a funny joke now, but then your heart sinks once you actually see the hipster whimpering in the trap, and you don’t have the guts to put it out of its misery so you just leave it there and try to convince yourself it never happened. You suffer from guilt every day for 20 years until you finally spill your guts to a therapist who promptly informs the police, and now you’re on the run from johnny law.