Always be closing

This sounds awesome!

comics will cut out most of their bullshit act and leave you with the joke/jokes they keep closest to their hearts- their closers. Jam packed with their own personal favorites, old faithfuls and maybe even some new tricks, I’ll Leave You With This will teach these comics their ABCs- ALWAYS. BE. CLOSING.

Get advance tickets here.

(And, obviously we don’t want longtime local businesses to always be closing, so support Lost Weekend and Cinecave and Cynic Cave whenever possible.)

Misery Index, a free monthly comedy show at the Rite Spot

It’s a monthly event but host Trevor Hill says of tonight’s edition, “This one is especially good.”

Al Gore on whether or not San Francisco is still cool

[via Megan Wong]

Snappy answers

Last week Allan asked me to interpret some gross crap on a bathroom wall. Inspired by Al Jaffee‘s Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions, I gave it a crack.

When I was a kid I got the little paper back collections from MAD Magazine, and one of my favorites was Jaffee’s, both because they were hilarious, and also because they offered the opportunity for me to put my own punchlines in.

Insert your own here.

Some originals from Jaffee’s book, with my adolescent-mind additions, after the jump.

(more…)

And I was just about to shut down the comments section for good

I guess we’ll have to let it live. Thanks, Simon. [link]

A classic joke about being done with San Francisco

The boys like it ;)

[via Ariel on Facebook]

LOST: Spider bag

Poor lil guys. Help Theo out?

[via flyering]

Mission CTRL brings back ‘Innovate or Die’ tonight and tomorrow in the Mission

Local sketch troupe Mission CTRL (part of the PianoFight family) debuted their latest show “Innovate or Die” during SF Sketchfest last month, and it went over so well they decided to bring it back for a pair of dates right here in the Mission. Here’s the rundown:

Mission CTRL is answering a question you didn’t even have the balls to ask! That’s right—we’re bringing back our sold-out SF Sketchfest show, “Innovate or Die!” Two nights only (March 6/7) at Zbelow, featuring some heavily funny guests: musical comedy from Imaginary Radio and stand up from Stroy Moyd (March 6) and Caitlin Gill (March 7).

This crew is great at what they do, as we know from having laughed our asses off at their poker-playing Minotaur bit and their summer blockbuster about murderous ducks. Get tickets and more info here.

And watch this short for a taste:

Vehicular Manhattanslaughter

[via The Fog Bender]

Van Ness jokes

Why David isn’t headlining Sketchfest this year I will never know.