Sortalicious

[This is the debut of our new veganism correspondent, Caroline. She's good fun and writes a blog called OVOO (One Vegan, One Omnivore) about how she's a vegan and her husband Reese is an omnivore but they love each other anyway.]

As my first contribution to Mission Mission, I bring you this review of a new neighborhood eatery! Announcements of its imminent approach were made here in the past, but I thought I’d go check it out for all y’all.

Tacolicious is not a taqueria, of course, but it is a restaurant that serves fancyish California-style Mexican food. My ol’ man and I got there on Friday evning around 6:30 and were told by the cute hostess that there was a half-hour wait, and we could wait at the attached tequila bar, Mosto. NBD.

Drinks at Mosto:

The bar was packed—yes, with people who look like they work for and shop exclusively at Banana Republic—but the bartenders were nice and let us hang out by their station. They didn’t even make us move when they went in and out of the bar—they ducked under it. Just for contrast, see if you can picture the bartenders at Zeitgeist doing this. (I can’t either. Not that I don’t love the surly barkeeps at ZG.)

I had a glass of red wine on tap, while the man went with a michelada.

Micheladas are rad, and since Mosto makes theirs with tomato juice (not Clamato—gross!), Tecate, Tapatio, lime juice, and this weird Latin wheat gluten sauce (not Worstershire), they are totally vegan (yay!).

Guess what they charged for the above-described concoction. Guess.

$9.

The drinks on the Tacolicious menu are cheaper, so if paying $13 for a glass of wine (yep) or $9 for a michelada annoys you, stick with the $3 Tecates while you’re waiting and then upgrade at dinner.

Dinner at Tacolicious:

Our waitress was nice and was knowledgeable about which menu items were vegan and which weren’t. This was reassuring, since I’m often in the position of needing to ask taquerias to hold the butter on my veggie burrito. (I’m looking at you, Buen Sabor!) We started with chips (okay), salsa (minty!) and guac (fluffy!). They had a $3.95 vegan taco on the menu—butternut squash with swiss chard and onions—so I got that. I also had a side of Rancho Gordo beans, which I love. With the tacos, we got 3 more kinds of salsa to try: mild, medium, and spicy. The medium, chipotle-based one was my favorite; it had that smoky taste that we vegans go crazy for.

The main problem with the food: Not. Enough. Salt. And there were no salt shakers on the table. Why? why? (And no Tapatio orCholula, btw.)

The verdict?

Go if you want Mexican-esque food and are entertaining a valentine or fancy visitor, like a well-off aunt, especially if he/ she lives in the Marina or Orange County or something. What you lose in street cred by patronizing this establishment you can regain by discussing the inconsistencies in the perspective of the admittedly-pretty mural of the park.

Don’t go if you love salt or are a taqueria purist.

See you next week!

42 Responses to “Sortalicious”

  1. Fiid says:

    Seems odd – they had little salt pinch dishes on the tables at Tacolicious when I had lunch there on Sunday…. a mystery!

  2. Thank you for warning me away from a dinner from hell.

  3. Street Name Police says:

    Last Friday night at 7pm there was a 3 HOUR WAIT. WTF?

  4. henri! says:

    First World Problems

  5. Brillo says:

    I stopped into Mosto right when they opened. Ordered a margarita. Didn’t look at the menu or anything, just asked for a margarita. It came out blended and in a martini glass. I was confused.

  6. Mike says:

    The Mission officially jumped the shark with “Tacolicious.” This is clearly the new headquarters for local douche-wads.

  7. Sweet T says:

    They have an item on the menu called the “Marina Girl Salad.”

    They’re not like us.

  8. StowawaySG says:

    !Por dios, estos gringos! I’m glad about having more vegan options, but not too happy about this yucky Yelp-reviews-on-Mission-Mission feeling.

  9. Old Mission Neighbor says:

    was not disappointed by comments for this post.

  10. Tico says:

    Overpriced cocktails, faux Mex when the real thing is available all over the neighborhood, phony ambiance & a glib review. Feh.

  11. Jose Arcadio Buendia says:

    Did you ask your waitress for salt and hot sauce and she claimed they had none, or did you just look around and not see any on the tables? It matters because if the former is true, they fail, but if the latter is the case, which I suspect, you fail.

    • Herr Doktor Professor Deth Vegetable says:

      No. Salt, Pepper, and Hot Sauce are pretty much the bare minimum for things that should already be on the table. You shouldn’t have to ask for them.

      • Jose Arcadio Buendia says:

        I agree that salt and pepper ought to be on the table, hot sauce not necessarily, but in any case, they could have been refilled during a shift changeover and forgotten about by the waitstaff, particularly if they employ “salt pinch dishes” as described by a previous commenter, which would likely be replenished after each new table, and that oversight would be much more forgivable than not providing them at all. I maintain, however, that if you want something at a restaurant and it’s not readily available, fucking ask for it.

  12. Bob Dole says:

    The invasion of the Mission begins!

    • Jam says:

      begins? It started a long time ago. Valencia street is officially the new Union St., and you know what’s next? 24th St. Little by little, one valet parking enabled restaurant, new expensive condo building and upscale boutique at a time. Nothing but the best!
      “Tacolicious” is like a cartoon, super cute! OMG, get over yourselves! (putting gun into mouth)

  13. I can’t believe this place. Like, ok I get bougie Mexican food. I love Gracias Madre and Nopalito and all that shit but seriously naming your restaurant “tacolicious” and placing it on a street like Valencia is just sacrilege and something I will never understand. What the fuck.

    Also, can we hold up on all the god damn restaurants sprouting up everywhere. Every week there is a new HIP AND TRENDY joint that has a 10 dollar cocktail menu and bite sized foods. Not totally bagging on these places but don’t we have enough? Like, we already have really REALLY good ones we don’t need shitty ones crowding the place esp. with names like TACOLICIOUS.

  14. Brillo says:

    Coming up next on Mission Mission: Neighborhood White Population Equates “Mexican” with “Poor”; Claims Cultural Enlightenment

  15. scum says:

    Vegan diet=bland. Vegan writer=extra bland.

  16. yupyup says:

    white people yelping about white people tacos to white people blog readers…Amazing

  17. redbearded says:

    Never ever ever ever read a food review written by a vegan.

  18. Haggie says:

    YOU NON-HIPSTERS GET OFF MY HIPSTER LAWN!!!

  19. boo says:

    “This was reassuring, since I’m often in the position of needing was reassuring, since I’m often in the position of needing to ask taquerias to hold the butter on my veggie burrito.”

    You should read these things out loud before you publish; ask someone if you sound like a jackass.

  20. chalkman says:

    the nopal tacos at Mosto are good and cheap ($1.50 each) and they’ve got some great mescal…

    • Herr Doktor Professor Deth Vegetable says:

      Not sure how much you’d have to pay me to patronize that douchebag joint, but I’m willing to entertain cash offers.

  21. Bleeze says:

    This is hilarious. I bet most of the people hating on this place (which does have a really stupid name) have never even been in it. I looked past the name, and went in to check it out. You know what? Every taco I had was delicious, and most reminded me of the tacos I used to get on the street while working in Mexico City.

    I know people love to hate on the Marina because of its residents, but I am starting to hate the Mission for the same reason. Thank god I live in Potrero.

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