Mission Vegan: $1 Pastries at Ritual not worth more than that

I rarely go to Ritual because I live closer to Four Barrel (and I LOVE it), but I ended up at the former this evening. Ritual’s vegan apple nut bread is very mediocre: nothing is horribly wrong with it, but it’s too sweet, too dry, and has little character. But they sell all their pastries for $1 close to closing time, so at least I didn’t pay more than it was worth!

Next time I’ll just try harder to get to Arizmendi before it closes.

25 Responses to “Mission Vegan: $1 Pastries at Ritual not worth more than that”

  1. Heckadeca says:


  2. Brillo says:

    if we parse it properly we find the truth hidden in the middle of this post: “vegan … bread is … mediocre.”

    • scum says:

      I find a vegan diet boring. Meat and cheese make me happy.

    • D. Jon Moutarde says:

      No, vegan bread is just fine. In fact, most good bread is vegan by definition. “VEGAN PASTRY” is an oxymoron. Pastry without dairy — no such thing. Therein lies the source of much mockery of vegans.

      • manymachines says:

        Uh, what? Vegan cupcakes (with no dairy) certainly exist.

      • Brillo says:

        sure, but what good is a baguette without cheese on it?

        • D. Jon Moutarde says:

          Ask yourself that, when you’re burning in a hell that resembles Orange County. I’ll be munching on a torn piece of baguette with a little top-shelf EVOO and black pepper.


  3. Ryan says:

    Their coffee isn’t much to write home about, either.

  4. manymachines says:

    Ritual has gotten a pass on its mediocre pastry offerings for years.

  5. MrEricSir says:

    Drop a slab of butter on it and put it in the toaster oven. Problem solved.

  6. observationist says:

    caroline, that’s the saddest little engagement ring i think i’ve ever seen on anyone. if your man (or woman) can’t afford to spring for a decent sized rock, they should’ve just forgone the diamond, entirely.

    life’s too short to settle for crappy vegan nut bread and chintzy bling.

    • Chachito415 says:

      You are such an unhappy person.

    • Adam says:

      Another thread where the douch bag comments build off each other. With it usually finishing off with a gem like this that has little to nothing to do with the original subject. I realize people get a rise off of trolling, but jesus christ it never ceases to amaze me that someones life could so sad as to post something like this.

    • Emily says:

      Maybe she’s a girl that doesn’t feel the need to have a huge diamond. They exist.

    • Caroline says:

      Sister woman, if a kindhearted man who loves you to pieces gives you his great-grandmother’s ring and your only concern is the size of the rock thereupon, I just don’t know what to tell you.

  7. SlobDog says:

    I’m still feeling the sting from the art that had to be taken down and suggestion that coffee houses should have work with birds on power lines.

    • LM says:

      That story was a total imaginary shitstorm. The art was a very very very specific subject matter that Ritual had specifically requested NOT be used. They told the artist “any kind of photos except _______.” The artist said “sure” and then presented _______ instead. The art was removed as a result. It wasn’t OFFENSIVE art, it was emotionally draining depressing art. The artist completely flipped out on the staff, while the cafe was open and full of customers. The owner wrote a quick off-the-cuff email and paid the artist, even though she wasn’t required to, because the artist wasn’t being paid to hang her art in the first place. Artist continued to be an asshole and sent the (admittedly poorly thought out) private email to all the press in town, without the author’s permission, in order to get free publicity for her art + smear Ritual at the same time.

      I fail to see where the blame lies for Ritual here. A “Portlandia” reference about how hipsters (i.e. most of Ritual’s customers) like it when you put a bird on it does not require a boycott IMHO.

  8. LM says:

    Ritual’s pastries on Valencia suck. However, their pastries at the branch inside Flora Grubb Gardens are really yummy!