The worst gay guy in San Francisco

Looking Season 1 Episode 2: is this show good, you guys? I just finished the second episode of HBO’s Looking, the first cool show to be set and made in SF since forever, and I’m on the fence.

Here’s what happened this week: Agustin moved out of his apartment with Patrick to live with boyfriend Frank in Oakland. Dominick’s ex-methhead ex-boyfriend comes to town, asks for him back. Dominick gets weirded out and effs a li’l short guy in the b, tells the methhead to go eff himself later in some hotel lobby (READERS: where was this?).

Jonathan, the hero of our story (I guess?) goes out with Richie, the Mexican guy from Esta Noche we met last week on the J-Church (I guess?). Jonathan’s buds tell him “real Mexican” guys are probs uncut, so he googles a bunch of dick pics in preparation (as one does). When the two are finally getting down to business (following beers at Doc’s Clock, then an Erasure dance sesh), Jonathan puts foot in mouth while putting dick in mouth and tells Richie that he’d expected him to be “uncut.” Richie gets weirded out, bounces (as one does).

Now lest you already forgot, on last week’s episode, Jonathan weirded his OK Cupid date out by being like “lol I got a HJ in BV park the other day for shits and giggs.” Basically, this show should be called The Worst Gay Guy in San Francisco, because this guy is like SO bad at being gay. If next week’s episode features Jonathan wearing sweat pants at the Folsom Street Fair making AIDS jokes, I’m seriously OUTTA HERE.

The problem with Looking so far is that it’s expected to be the big gay answer to Golden Girls, Sex and the City, and Girls (there was even an extended Golden Girls ref this week), but no one’s ever having any fun. Sex and the City, for one, would have never let a convo re: Mexi peens go by without a cacophony of insane dick puns.

CARRIE: So this guy Richie I’m seeing tonight, he’s Mexican.
SAMANTHA: Mexican? You think he’s got a flauta between his albondigas, or an enchilada?
CHARLOTTE: Que?
SAMANTHA: You know, is his tamale wrapped or unwrapped?
MIRANDA: (rolls eyes) Ay carumba.

Oh, and btw, Carrie goes on the date wearing a Versace peasant blouse with a giant macrame parrot on the shoulder and says things like “Ay, papi!” and “Si, senor!” all night. END SCENE.

See how fun that was? The gays deserve better than this, a little respect. I’ll keep watching for Muni spotting alone, but if Jonathan isn’t drunk on top of a piano at Martuni’s by next week, I’m turning this weekly column into a Degrassi Junior High fan fiction hub.

Spotted in this episode: Philz, the Bay Bridge, a Cal T-shirt, Doc’s Clock, the Castro Theater, some gay club.

[Photo by Dashquatch]

21 Responses to “The worst gay guy in San Francisco”

  1. I think the hotel was the Fairmont. I could be mistaken.

  2. Meesha says:

    I endorse the Degrassi fan fic hub idea.

  3. Sam says:

    I think you’re missing the idea here. This isn’t a network sitcom, this isn’t even the fake yuppie reality of Brooklyn in Girls, this is just normal dudes being gay and living in a city. The conversations are mildly funny, they are normal dudes. Their lives are only somewhat interesting, its like following around a group of actual people.

    Whether that makes for compelling TV, Im not sure I guess. It’s a little more arthouse than I think most people expected in that sense.

    • Kat says:

      I think that’s a fair point, and though I like when TV acts like real life, I still think TV has an obligation to entertain. I think Girls is great because the characters are a bit of a parody of those kinds of people (Hannah Horvath is a 24 year old writing a memoir!), and that makes it clever for me. Looking doesn’t seem to have any tricks up its sleeve yet, though I’m willing to give it a shot. Though I guess having a shitty gay guy is a pretty good schtick?

  4. KBN says:

    Uh oh, I think I might have to abandon 40goingon28′s Bachelor recaps. Btw, how about a DJH episode recap as a companion just cuz, Martuni’s notwithstanding…

  5. MrEricSir says:

    “the first cool show to be set and made in SF since forever…”

    Finally, someone willing to take a bold stand against Trauma.

  6. suckerpunch says:

    I believe the “some gay club” was Club OMG (6th at Market).

    It’s somewhat startling the amount of gay knowledge I have for being a straight white guy.

    Anyways, pretty sure I’m right, but not 100% positive.

    • Blablabla says:

      Right, you can never be 100% sure you’re a straight, white guy.

    • Jeffy says:

      The gay club should be The Cafe. They were walking north on Castro towards The Cafe, which is at the corner of Castro and Market. When they’re dancing, you can see some dudes standing on an elevated platform, which is the back area at The Cafe.

      • suckerpunch says:

        You’re correct that the exterior shot indicated they were heading that way (Market & Castro), but to me, the interior of the club looked more like Club OMG than The Cafe.

        But its been forever since I was in the Cafe, you could totally be correct.

        • J-Train says:

          You’re probably right. When he went into the “El Rio bathroom” in EP 1 it was definitely not el rio. You really can’t count on exteriors matching interiors or anything matching up as you would expect in physical terms.

  7. Steve-Z says:

    “the first cool show to be set and made in SF since forever”: it’s a different category for sure, but Mythbusters deserves some love for 15 years of Cesar Chavez-based, locally-filmed awesomeness. (see http://i.imgur.com/94RpPBR.gif)

    Every character on Girls has quickly become insufferable. None of the characters on Looking have become insufferable yet. Fingers crossed!

  8. Allan Hough says:

    Also, he’s kind of a bad San Franciscan. He’s lived here 8 years and never been to Doc’s Clock???

  9. Emory says:

    As a genuine SF fag, let me tell you, he’s not even near the lower half of the worst of the SF gays. The gays are surprisingly bad at handling their gayness here. My drag queen friends are the best, cause they are keeping it motherfucking real. You want the good gays, head to Trannyshack.

  10. Lizzie Ann says:

    The hotel is the Westin St. Francis in Union Square, known for it’s clock.

  11. Carlos B. says:

    I thought this was a slow episode for sure but of course this isn’t anything like Girls. In particular I wouldn’t compare Lena Dunham’s direction and Andrew Haigh’s (“Weekend”) direction at all. Some of the shots in the first episode — the awkward, illicit opening scene in the park or the restaurant scene later where the camera lingers on Patrick’s astonished face several seconds after his bad date rejects him but then just goes on to talk about splitting the bill — are masterful in their subtlety. Nothin’ against Girls, it’s just a different show.

    I’m also pretty thankful they didn’t make increasingly racist jokes about a Hispanic man’s penis. I’d never have thought that was something this show needed.

    Also, note to Kat that the main character’s name is Patrick, not Jonathan (which is the actor’s name).

  12. Zig says:

    I had high hopes for Sucka Free City

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