Watch out for kamikaze ninja squirrels!

You don’t see that many squirrels around the neighborhood, do you?  The reason why might be far more insidious than you suspect.  In the past month, I’ve almost been attacked TWICE while riding my bike to work.  Here’s the account of the first attempted assault I originally posted on facebook:

i hit a squirrel on my bike ride to work this morning. i didn’t mean to–the little sucker darted out across the bike path, then darted back, and finally darted right back into my front wheel just as i was passing him.

fortunately, i didn’t squash his head, but the force from my wheel knocking him in the head propelled him up onto my left leg pants leg (which was, thankfully, rolled down all the way, because it was cold and the chain is on the right side) where he grabbed on for a few seconds until i managed to shake him off.

he ran off to the side and i stopped to see how he was, but luckily he was jumping around in a nearby tree so i figured he was ok. But seriously, little guy, my wheel is one damn inch wide and you just had to re-cross right as i was going by? WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH SQUIRRELS THESE DAYS???

A few weeks went by without any further fury offensives, but that all changed this morning:

biking along a quiet street on the way to work again, and this time a squirrel darted out just as i was nearing.  he was coming straight for me with less than a second’s notice, so there was nothing i could do.  i didn’t even have time to react at all.  miraculously, the squirrel somehow ran right between my front and rear wheels and crossed to the other side of the street.  mind you, i was going at least 15mph, perhaps 20.  this lucky little dude’s margin for error was minuscule, yet he still made it across in one piece.

i can only assume that this was a probing test for future attacks.

So basically, what I’m saying is to be careful out there.  Now let’s rock out!

4 Responses to “Watch out for kamikaze ninja squirrels!”

  1. Troll says:


  2. Hi, pedant here, Chip and Dale were chipmunks. That is all.

  3. Greg says:

    Looking for nuts?