List of things I saw while laying on the beach at Crissy Field for most of the last two days

Laying on the beach at Crissy Field on a 90-degree afternoon is pretty cool for a lot of reasons, so I did it two days in a row. Here’s a list of stuff I saw:

  • Little red helicopter doing acrobatics over and under the Golden Gate Bridge
  • “Horizon Lines” container ship entering the bay
  • Soooo many pelicans, feeding
  • Kitesurfers racing back and forth in formation
  • Little boat full of crab cages racing back into the bay
  • Three helicopters chasing each other all over the Bay Area
  • Kitesurfers hauling ass out into the shipping channel to surf the wake of inbound container ships
  • A couple swearing really loudly a lot (“Jesus FUCKING Christ,” he says to their dog; “SHIIIIIT,” she says to him, “Do you have the keys!?!?”
  • Other picnickers looking jealous of my 4505 Burgers & BBQ picnic
  • Two seals racing out toward the Golden Gate
  • Uggo brown haze over the Berkeley Hills
  • A guy in an oceangoing outrigger kayak HAULING ASS toward the Marina
  • A majestic great blue heron in our path, and then in flight
  • Brian Merritt and Rob Queenin taking a stroll
  • Celebrity cruise ship departing the bay
  • “Golden Energy” container ship entering the bay (I swam in its wake)
  • State-of-the-art racing sailboats in training
  • A guy that really really looked like Morrissey
  • Coast Guard helicopter going back and forth along Crissy Field for like an hour
  • The same little boat full of crab cages racing back into the bay again
  • A couple that you could tell were rockabilly even though they were in swimsuits (maybe it’s the hair; maybe it’s the body language)
  • Other picnickers looking jealous of my Courtney’s picnic
  • A cool beetle crawling up the strap of my Dolores Chiller
  • A really janky old boat puttering around (it was so old and janky it looked fake, but it was apparently seaworthy)
  • A crusty old hobo-type who said something to our dog and pronounced dog “dōg”
  • Some Europeans all in white (white shorts, white bikini, white wristwatch, white blanket, white towels, white accessories, etc.)
  • Another European making lots of 360-degree selfies with a GoPro on a stick
  • A seal bobbing around right where I’d been swimming 10 minutes prior!
  • A guy in an oceangoing outrigger kayak slowly paddling toward the Marina
  • “Horizon Lines” container ship leaving the bay
  • Group of seals performing *full breach* after *full breach* omg
  • 1 million dogs

[Photo and additional reporting by Jess Kelso]

22 Responses to “List of things I saw while laying on the beach at Crissy Field for most of the last two days”

  1. Looking says:

    You spend alot of time in the Marina. Do you live there or are you looking for a sugar mama/dada?

  2. Herr Doktor Professor Deth Vegetable says:

    How the hell do you know Brian Merritt?!

  3. Glasshole says:

    This blog has jumped the shark.

  4. Norteno says:

    THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE MISSION. if you like the marina so much why don’t you move there? start a blog called MARINAMARINA.

  5. Steve-Z says:

    I enjoyed this list.

  6. Oyster Boy says:

    Because… Dolores Park has no beach?

  7. Unimpressed says:

    Your list was trite, uninteresting, redundant, and devoid of any humor.

    FAIL.

  8. Dan says:

    The outrigger was a canoe- outrigger canoe.

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