Shit My Crazy Landlord Says

Sure, we’ve had our fill of crazy tenants, but what about crazy landlords?

Dylan writes:

a friend of mine lives in an apartment in the mission and he receives some of the most insane letters form his landlord you’ve ever seen. He started a blog about it….

Check out these choice bits:

  • “You are not my slaves and you can leave this building, to rent at another property or purchase real estate, where you are able to. I am not your slave either, but, I am your victim.”
  • “I remember a story, a few year’s ago, in the Mission District. There was a man who fell off of a balcony, at 4:00 am in the morning; from someone’s backyard balcony. He died. It was a party.”
  • “If you are having sex within my building, I prefer that you be in a heterosexual wedlock with whomever you are having sex with. I am expressing my personal belief and Catholic Christian faith to you.
  • “I am not cursing you, and I do not hope for your destruction, I am just quoting a scripture that might get you to stop bothering us.”
  • “I prayed and asked my God, for another company, who would be more affordable. God helped me to find Faith Roofing Company, who helped me to re-roof the roof for $8,500.00.”

The full letters are up at Letters From Judy. Enjoy them in all their low-res glory before Judy finds out and finally evicts this tenant for all the extra-martial sex he’s allegedly been having.

2 Responses to “Shit My Crazy Landlord Says”

  1. moderniste says:

    Jesus H. Christ!!!! What a loopy nightmare. And why is it that these fishsticks are always the ones that decide to buy rental property?

    (And hey, lady, you are setting a terrible example for Catholics–what with the conservative Pope-ster and pedophile image problems, we don’t need “help” from the krazy korner.)

  2. hopfrog says:

    so i moved into a cheap studio cabin in ca. there is a married couple in front house. a quiet dude in a offshoot room of house. then there is an angry druken barber in a lower house. he is prone to 4 hour druken rants on his cell phone where he threatens to kill his boss(pretty sure he is capable of that) the landlord owns several house in the county that i live in. for some reason he has moved onto the property where his wife occasionally visits. the dude wears earplugs , talks to himself and blows his snot into where i USED to wash my dishes. he seems like a lost cult leader. i have an injury which prevents me from bending over .he moved my dish basin and said that he had strict cleanliness policies and that i needed to communicatewith him. i suspect this guy is cuckoo 4 cocoa puffs. i told him that i would prefer to speak with himwhen other housemates are there. i told him i cannot bendover and that i have a real problem with him blowing his snot in the sink. this place is nsummer camp like. perhaps the guy thought i would biffff him .i certainly did not put that energy out. he acts normal when his wife is around. he creeps me out. i really cannot afford to move.i am on wc so he cannot legally evict me. i think he is trying to make my life here hel. he knew that i was on wc when i moved in. i am not looking for a friend.i feel little need to communicate beyond here is my rent please do not snot up the sink or barf in toilet that 3 now 4 of us do crazy sabs end up owning property??ai yi yi