Attempted mugging in Clarion Alley by 3 kids with a half empty bottle of Coke

This type of thing has really been happening a lot recently, so everyone be sure to take extra care when walking around alone late at night.  This time the intended victim was San Francisco’s premier fashion blogger, The Fog Bender:

Walked my bike up Clarion alley and was confronted by 3 kids who couldn’t have been older than 18.  They ran up to me and started throwing punches and actually knocked me down and kicked me in the head a few times before i got up and started scrapping with them.  I picked up my bike and started swinging it at them saying “you wanna fuck with me?”  One of them threw a half empty plastic bottle of Coke at me.

Read the harrowing conclusion here.

30 Responses to “Attempted mugging in Clarion Alley by 3 kids with a half empty bottle of Coke”

  1. tell me about it says:

    ugg boots? really?

  2. Greg says:

    Hipsters are funny

  3. Ryan says:

    not that i would ever say a victim “deserved it” or anything, but…walking down an alley late at night, alone? really? and they had a bike, but weren’t riding it…how about ride the damn bike, as people fuck with you less when you’re already past them? or ride around the block, as *alleys are always sketchy when alone late at night*???

    yeesh. common sense seems to be in short supply these days.

    • Daryl F. says:

      ‘Not to blame the victim but . . .’ is the new ‘I’m not a racist, but . . .’

    • Alex says:

      I concure. If he can say “he looks good” bludgeoned and bloddy, we can say he’s an idiot for walking, and not riding, to see some pretty murals at closing time.

    • Jen says:

      The “walking the bike” part comes right after the “had three beers” part, if you click through and read the actual story. If someone thinks they’re not sober enough to ride a bike, then good on them for being smart enough to walk it.

      I do agree that the best course of action is probably to stay on main, better-lit streets, but we’ve certainly been seeing a lot of this sort of thing on non-alleys lately, too.

    • Lindsey says:

      seriously? it doesn’t seem like he provoked them in any way. he’s also a like, normal sized dude, which is perceived more intimidating than some 110 pound female. you’re right though- common sense is in short supply. While you’re looking for some of that, you should search for some compassion, dear ryan.

      • Ryan says:

        @Lindsey & @Daryl F. – oh i’ve got compassion. but not for blatant stupidity. and Daryl, you’re right, that was a cop-out prefacing statement, which i retract — who the fuck walks down an alley, alone, tipsy, late at night? that is some straight-up Mark Ass Buster shit right there. you do stupid shit, you pay the consequences…i should know, i was mugged in Chicago one time for doing stupid shit (riding my bike in a shitty neighborhood late at night on a tiny side street, a bit tipsy). i got punched in the face, thankfully didn’t go down, but i learned my lesson: keep your shit together in public and don’t put yourself in unnecessarily stupid situations. sucks that this dude got mugged, and that violence seems to be on the rise in the Mission (or just better reported, i haven’t looked at the statistics)…but be realistic and keep in mind that you live in a Big-Ass City.

        • Daryl F. says:

          I get it, if you can blame the victim’s behavior then that keeps you from feeling afraid. Just keep telling yourself it can’t happen to you . . .

          • Ryan says:

            oh jesus…of course it can happen to me. if you would actually read what i wrote, instead of what you’d like to read, you’d see that it *did* happen to me. hence why i don’t do stupid shit like walk down alleys alone late at night whilst tipsy.

  4. Erik says:

    Not to blame the victim, but this is 100% the victim’s fault.

  5. Alex says:

    And it’s spring break. More bored teenagers for a week…

  6. think_for_me says:

    That’s why I carry a gun. Funny how much people calm down when pull out a piece of steel. Yes, I have a permit.

  7. GoodDaySir says:

    Maybe if the victim thought of that bottle as half-full none of this would have happened.

  8. Out at all hours says:

    Try looking and acting like you’re not a mark, herb. That’s the key. Attack first with a nice deep OG greeting and stare the lil Gs down. Get ready to swing and it’s all good. Peace on the streets y’all.

  9. airhead says:

    Do you have a description of the attackers?

  10. Bordash says:

    muggings, or attempted muggings or whatnot, seem to be on the rise lately. a couple people tried to mug me near dear moms not long ago, there was that street fight on sixteenth, this… any more? people are getting antsy in the mission apparently.

  11. xBPx says:

    Maybe what’s going on is people who actually GREW UP in the Mission (went to public schools, live in public housing etc) get tired of dickhead transplant hipsters walking/biking/tagging the streets like they own them. Maybe they’re pissed cause the rent keeps climbing because who gives a fuck about working families when it’s more profitable to rent to “artists”. Maybe, who knows. Either way watch your backs at night, have RESPECT for your new home and the hardworking people struggling to survive there, and everything will be cool. Common Sense 101.

  12. fuckaknifeboi says:

    yeah i got jumped last month by 2 kids prolly 18 yrs old. NW corner of 25th & bryant… thurs night at 12:15am.

    ( i was drinking and tired )

    “AYYyyy you got some money?”
    -skip hops in front of me-

    “No, I aint got no money..”
    -skateboard dude pulls up-

    “Are you sure?”
    -flashes knife thats bigger than mine at me-

    “Yeah, I’m sure..”
    -whip bicycle onto back wheel, backing away-

    -knife dude slices my wrist while trying to take bicycle-
    -skateboard dude holds trucks and punches me in lip/lower jaw-
    -now im fallen in the intersection and traffic is stopping-
    -they’re running into the darkness where i see others drinking beer and silently enjoying the fight-
    -jump on bike, head toward their crew-

    “Fuck YOU
    FUCK YOU little knife boi!

    “Lets get him”
    -pursuit for half block-
    -and im outta there…-

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