All slices are created equal at Mission Pizza

Relatively new pie pusher Mission Pizza has finally published their menu and boy the choices are overwhelming! Three types of Mission themed pies plus a Mexican Mariachi to boot. Somehow though they’ve amazingly been able to procure all toppings at the same cost. No matter your slice, you pay the same price! The only variable in price seems to be pie size. Any theories as to this egalitarian pricing scheme?

33 Responses to “All slices are created equal at Mission Pizza”

  1. Heather says:

    I’m guessing they are operating on a “Menu Matrix” system wherein the larger profit margin from the popular but cheaper (to produce) items pays for the items that are more expensive to produce. If you plot #pizzas of any type sold on the x axis, then profit margin on the y axis… etc.


    • Lindsey says:

      and that profit margin falls to vegetarians. no thanks.

    • Lindsey says:

      err- at least in this case. not disputing anything you said! >:]

    • HotwireMY says:

      Do you wax financially on dates as well?

      • Heather says:

        Dear HotwireMY,
        I’m not quite sure how you equated answering a financial question on a blog to how I would talk on a date. It almost comes off as if you were just seizing the opportunity to comment on how un-sexy it is for women to talk about smart-people things. Since that was such a boner-killer for you, please tell us: what things do you like women to talk about on dates?

        • HotwireMY says:

          Dear Heather,
          I am really quite sorry that you took offense to that comment. It may be hard to believe, but I intended to make impress the complete opposite sentiment. I think it’s sexy for either male or female to talk about smart people things. From your reaction, I’m guessing that there is some insecurity about how your intelligence is perceived; so much so that you presumed my comment was implicit of a misogynist agenda.

          But, perhaps I’m conjecturing about your position via my own insecure projections. Suffice it to say, I was impressed by your initial comment. Good day.

    • Jack Walker says:

      That’s some righteous Boston Consulting-esque MBA stuff. Dogs, cash cows, problem children, and stars oh my.

  2. Rachel says:

    I wonder if they deliver to Pacific Heights.

  3. Chachito415 says:

    “Mexican mariachi” seems redundant, considering mariachi comes from one part of Mexico.

    • MrEricSir says:

      I’ve been considering started a German Mariachi band since last Thursday. It would be just like a regular Mariachi band, except we’d go around to German restaurants and bars and play polka music.

  4. Mike H says:

    Is this place any good? It’s so close to Arinell’s, aka the perfect (for sf) slice.

  5. Ministral Cycle says:

    The Capp Street Cunt Large
    Pubes, ejaculate, spattering of blood, $17.95
    and blistered crust

  6. A Bot says:

    Local (read mission) businesses need to get a little more creative in naming there businesses.

    Mission Pie
    Mission Bowl
    Local: Mission Eatery
    Mission Minis

  7. Mission the point says:

    Mission Pizza is right on the hardest block left on Mission…totally not gonna fly with the Yups and not geared toward them anyway. Good luck – it’s someone’s dream….hope they realize it.

    • D. Jon Moutarde says:

      Not gonna fly with anyone, especially not with anarcho-punks who are only comfortable with busting up businesses on fucking Valencia, dope. The west side of that block is a complete write-off until the cops stop writing it off, or until armed vigilantes move in. HA-fucking-HA!

  8. thefro says:

    It makes me pretty happy when I can somehow make vegetarians pay for my meat so I am pretty pumped.

  9. mike says:

    fuck white people