The Sexpigeon diet

I think the Sexpigeon diet is worth a shot:


Integrate exercise into your daily routine
Skip the escalator and start taking the stairs! It might not seem like a lot, but every step burns extra calories.

Set a reasonable diet
You don’t have to count every calorie, but sometimes the answer to “Would you like fries with that?” should be “No thank you!”

Goals, targets, rewards
Set sensible, achievable goals and give yourself small rewards for meeting those goals. Losing five pounds in a month is more than enough, and you deserve a (small!) bag of Cheez-Ohs for the accomplishment.

Get a hobby!
It sounds funny, but sometimes we eat because we don’t know what else to do with ourselves. Try out a hobby! Spending hours by yourself can help you avoid all those calories you’d be spending at meals with friends.

Make smart decisions
Put an “or” where your “ands” currently are. Have a glass of wine OR have dinner, but don’t have both. Save that for one of your cheat days!

Read on for several more helpful steps.

3 Responses to “The Sexpigeon diet”

  1. Fact-Checker says:

    I miss Tag.

  2. Pacific Standard Simon says:

    Misses the most effective one — QUIT BOOZING.

    I know, I know, I won’t do it either.

    • Pacific Standard Simon says:

      Oh, and take up smoking. That’s even better for weight loss. You might get cancer some day, but you’ll be skinny during the important years.