‘Hipsters’ Finally Defined

Woah, I just realized that the most comprehensive definition of hipsters was achieved in this past week. First, Ben at Mission Loc@l:

Ben, I think you’re close. However, I think you’re leaving out some minority groups. Maybe add Asian folks who don’t wear Cal sweatshirts and we’re getting warmer.

Then this from MM reader Rod:

Bingo! Next, please.

Here’s a good one, what’s a “bro”? Lately, I’ve seen dudes who are clearly hippies being called “bros”. Are hippies also bros? I guess hippies might say the word “bro” on occasion. But I guess I do that too. Wait, am I a bro? I also can’t name a member of the Giants baseball team.

25 Responses to “‘Hipsters’ Finally Defined”

  1. i ride bikes says:

    I thought hipsters were everyone that wasn’t yourself?

  2. pedro says:

    this is so stupid.

  3. Erik says:

    “But not me” should be part of whatever definition is chosen.

  4. MrEricSir says:

    Sounds about right.

  5. A hipster is anyone who says anything like, “Yeah, that was really cool — last year”, or “…until the [fill in the blank] ruined the scene”. That pretty much includes a whole lot of Anglo and Asian and Latino peoples, but not very many Very Dark Colored Peoples — probably because they are too busy being poverty-stricken assholes to be worried about hipness.

  6. Rod says:

    it’s current use is purely pejorative, no one identifies them self with the word, so the definition will waver depending on who you ask. i think it’s universally ‘those people who i do not like who are different than me’ or in some cases ‘those people who i do not like because they are all the same’ or ‘those people who i do not like because they are all too different.’

    it also seems to have popular usage among people who previously favored terms like ‘queer’ and ‘homo’.

    • Ben S says:

      I think there’s a weird self-loathing thing going on with how a lot of people use it out here, too. People use it when they want to establish distance from a group of people whom, from the point of view of anybody other than themselves, they themselves are a member of.

      Kinda like how everyone loves to get condescending about “hipsters” allegedly ruining the Mission, because it’s a way to shift the perceived blame for gentrification to somebody else. It’s incredibly tiresome, frankly.

      • Jesse says:

        Agreed. The term ‘hipster’ is 100% pejorative and extremely played. But to me, ‘hipster’ has always meant someone who dresses the part of anti-mainstream/counter-counter but backs up none of the ideals that embody those philosophies. For example, dude dressed in beanie, ironic t-shirt, skinny jeans, and then whips out an iphone, i.e., total consumer.

  7. Dr. Sweet T says:

    The ‘bro’ thing is definitely getting a little out of hand. My suspicion is that it’s a reaction to the hipster-calling epidemic, wherein those who, on some unconscious (or is it?) level, identify with the ‘hipster’ moniker are retaliating. They basically use the same tactic of labeling those who aren’t conforming to the labeler’s fashion aesthetic/politics/taste in music/bar preference, in a way that makes it easy to fit a complex social being into a neatly wrapped, easy to understand (and deride) stereotype.

    On the other hand, if you want to lend any credibility to the painfully inane brolorespark.com you can just assume that if it has a dick and balls, it’s a bro.

    • wondering says:

      I always though hipsters were basically people in their mid 20′s to late 30′s who wear skinny trendy clothes, party alot, and most importantly are at least partially financially supported by their parents/family. The last part being the most important.

  8. wondering says:

    hahaha, yeah. But not true. How’d you get so cranky anyway?

  9. Herr Doktor Professor Deth Vegetable says:

    There are plenty of hallmarks.

    Riding fixies. Horrible sense of style, all in the name of “irony”, including but not limited to vintage (or even just vintage-style) t-shirts, skinny jeans, mirrored aviators and/or boxy plastic glasses, etc etc.

    Really I didn’t think that there was much confusion about this, I thought that most people could pick out the hipsters with a fair amount of precision. Hell, even my friend in town from the UK for a week was able to point out the Hipsters whilst walking through the Mission.

  10. Patrick Connors says:

    I just pooped. Does that make me bro or a hipster?

  11. Herr Doktor Professor Deth Vegetable says:

    Also, can’t forget the old standby:

  12. yea says:

    Yeah man. There are definitely too many robots in this town. There is a methodical prescription for hipsters in this place. It used to be ‘hipsters’ all looked like Nick Cave. Now they all look like skateboarders with the same wolf in moonlight tee. I rebel. I started rebelling against preppy, jock, bro shit when I was in 4th grade by listening to Kyuss, Jesus Lizard, Morbid Angel, Born Against, Econochrist, Rorschach and only buying clothes at typically unpicked thrift shopz.

    So, obviously the coolest thing for me to do now is just start dressing like I work as a caddy at a golf course. Cuz too many motherfuckers are still catching up to me in 5th grade. So, fuck y’all, I’m buying new clothes at fucking GAP. Fucking bums.

    This site isn’t even that “cool” considering no one has mentioned the UOA show on Monday. Only cool people know this shit and we’re buying clothes at motherfucking GAP and rollin around with a limp and a cane because we’re almost 30.

  13. vanessa says:

    the only people that have problems knowing what a hipster is are people in denial that they are hipsters.

  14. Fredo says:

    Herr Doktor Professor Deth Vegetable has it down! Must include the logger look, Pabst beer, mostly weird taste in music and ball caps. The most important thing of all is that you must hate almost everything non artistic.

  15. Native Sun says:

    an excerpt from my soon-to-be-published blog:

    Many of these retards travel by bike, and the trademark of the cycling hipster is the fixed gear bicycle. For those of you unaware of fixed gears, or “fixies” as they call them, it’s essentially a bike that doesn’t have the ability to coast because the sprocket is screwed directly onto the hub and there is no freewheel mechanism. In other words, the pedals always move with the wheel, forwards or backwards. Originally these bikes were used by track cyclists to train for races…which makes sense, since racing tracks are relatively flat surfaces and the fixed gear yields more efficiency. If you’re unfamiliar with San Francisco, it is one of the most hilly and precipitous cities in the world. There are over 50 hills in the city alone, with anywhere from 3-31.5 % gradient. Now, explain to me what makes sense about having a bike with no brakes, and the only means of stopping is to physically slow the pedals down to a crawl? [or more recently, 'skidding', which is patently cool].

    • Johannes SeBrahstian Brach says:

      “Bro” is short for “brother”, a term of social endearment originally used by African Americans in the 1960s/civil rights era to signify solidarity with one another.