Why Isn't There An Apple Store in the Mission?

Why no Apple love in the Mission? You’d think this is something even Chicken John could get behind.

The only question is where? On Mission? Or Valencia? A few proposals:

The Social Security Building / old Hibernia Bank on Valencia and 22nd and Valencia:

Pros: Apple-eqsue architecture
Cons: even longer Boogaloo lines

Dolores Park Castle:

Pros: empty building finally used; good WiFi coverage for the park; nice park to rest in while awaiting Genius Bar appointments
Cons: dark wood beams may conflict with Steve Jobs beech aethsetic; Pottery Barn may attempt to move into Christian Science Church next door

Dolores Park Bathrooms:

Pros: Even better WiFi coverage in DP; safe refuge for Blue Bottle; clean bathrooms
Cons: white Apple logo easily tagged

Please add your suggestions in the comments.

(top photo by Chris Carlsson; Apple logo via Wikipedia)

16 Responses to “Why Isn't There An Apple Store in the Mission?”

  1. MrEricSir says:

    Z Barn seems to be empty… did they go out of business? That would be a good-sized spot, except of course chain stores are not allowed on Valencia.

  2. olu says:

    there are no apple stores in the mission, because we’re too poor (per capita). However, if they did open one at the Castle, it would be teh awesomest! because it would be blasting wifi into the Dolo which means face time in the park, and access to a working signal, since AT&T sucks on crowded days. and sucks on regular days. and sucks on rainy days…….

  3. Stone says:

    There is a perfectly rational explanation for why there’s no Apple store in the Mission, and it has everything to do with demand. Three Apple stores in the city is plenty. It’s not as if they’re losing any business here without a retail presence.

  4. Chico Dusty says:

    jump on the BART you lazy bastards.

    • missionhiptard says:

      but i live in the mission and i dont like to leave the mission. it’s so cool here. we have everything BUT an Apple Store. i hate making an extra stop for my vegan burrito before i got to the Genius bar. everything should be in the mission. EVERYTHING!

      • Don’t worry, there would be a taqueria in the store too.

        Or better yet, have an Apple Truck that drives around the Mission that parks next to El Tonayense.

        Kind of a roving Genius Bar / iPhone dispenser with mobile WiFi! Awesome, no? Fuck yeah.

  5. Ferocious Foot Odor says:

    How about just a little one, back by the stinky meat counter at Duc Loi?

  6. Missionrioter says:

    It would be awesome if they took over one of the many empty 99 cents stores on Mission street.

  7. bluntcard says:

    Because the Mission is a dump.

  8. sfist says:

    Isn’t the apple store a CHAIN??? We can’t have that in the Mission. Some call chicken john

  9. kourosh says:

    Are you serious? If residents blocked American Apparel and Blue Bottle (Blue Bottle!), what chance does a yuppie magnet like Apple have?

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