Mission Mission

Dolores Park Works reports that the playground renovations are 85% complete and it may open as soon as March. Planning is in progress for the opening party. I’m a little sad to see the Dolores Park pool go, but I think this will be a safer place for kiddos to observe adults engaging in casual drug use and public alcohol consumption.

The new Helen Diller Playground will feature a super slide, a natural climbing stone, and a “sound garden” (an anonymous donation from Chris Cornell?). It will also have designated areas for age groups 2-5 and 5-12. In fact, there will be a boat for younger kids, and a separate shipwrecked boat for the older ones–no doubt a metaphor for their soon-to-be broken hopes and dreams.

Agism? Maybe. I’ll never forget the first time I approached by a kid in a playground and told, “you’re too old to be playing here!” I was heartbroken, and I couldn’t stop thinking about it during the entire drive back to my apartment.

[photo and scoop via Dolores Park Works]

Oh so this is where all those acappella guys in college ended up:

A handful of Dolores park patrons anxiously awaiting their turn to use the generously-provided porta-potties situated at the 19th Street entrance were temporarily inconvenienced this past weekend when the cleaning crew stopped by at around 5pm to give the units a bath.  Some waiting in line were outraged that the cleaning would be scheduled at such an obvious high-usage time and that shouldn’t the city know better, but you know what?

I’m so happy that they clean those things every single day that I don’t give a shit (no pun intended) when they do it.  Personally, I’m still amazed that the porta-potties still sometimes smell springtime fresh whenever I enter, a fact that I commented on way back when they were installed.  If it means that a line full of entitled folks has to wait a little longer, so be it!  And seriously, the dude was only cleaning one of them at a time, which still left 5 others perfectly vacant.

Keep up the great bathroom cleaning work!

Previously:

Park porta potties pretty perfect

A touching moment occurred when these two DIY entrepreneurs crossed paths while in the midst of their rounds during one of the nicest weekends in the park EVER.  The gruff visage of Cold Beer melted away as soon as he noticed Warm Cookie Girl, replaced by an affable grin (and perhaps even a hint of blush–I think he may have a bit of a crush).  The two exchanged pleasantries for a moment before engaging in a friendly barter, with Cold Beer offering a nice cold one and Warm Cookie Girl reciprocating with a delectable morsel of her own.

They consummated their encounter with a friendly cheers (beer to cookie) before proceeding on their separate ways to satiate the needs of the Dolores Park masses.

Dolo Butt, n – a condition wherein the afflicted has a brownish stain on the seat of their pants from sitting on Dolores Park’s notoriously muddy grass. Ex: “You can tell Joan just came straight from the park. She’s got a mad case of Dolo Butt.”

[coined by Zach Morvant, epic cyclist]

How can YOU prevent dolo butt?  Well, for one, you can make like Vic and bring along a bunch of paper shopping bags for you and your pals to sit on.  What a nice guy!

Looks like someone had a good reason to celebrate at Dolores Park this past weekend.

[picture/title/caption via reader Adam (we are officially obsolete)]

In America’s desperate search for rare earth elements, no site is left unturned.

That, or #burningmanrapture.

The “strip miming” typo was so unfortunate I had to share it with you all. I don’t even know how that would work. Naked with white paint? Peeling off imaginary clothes? Etymology over on Twitter:

And here’s a panorama for posterity’s sake.

It’s a lovely day for a thunder lizard to laze upon the lawn. Get thee to the park!

“I’m on the boy’s bathroom side, holding up a unicorn hand puppet!”

Surprisingly, this is not the first time someone used unicorns to mark her territory in the park. Remember this one?

If you don’t have a unicorn hand puppet, what the hell is wrong with you? I guess you could always hold one of these into the air, too:

Then I suppose after that you could play beer pong while listening to Bob Marley’s Legend.

Adrian Covert‘s awesome depiction of the Mission, with your favorite park highlighted. I’ve spent a lot of time drawing and painting the fronts of these buildings, but I like that in this piece most of the real buildings represented are depicted instead by their rooftops.

You can pick up prints at Fayes Video or Serendipity.