Death Burger


Signing the waiver.

Our buddy Zoe (not pictured) had the Death Burger at Dr. Teeth last night:

Zoë: hey
me: yo
Zoë: have you had the death burger at dr. teeth’s yet?
or, mr. teeth
one of those
me: nope
we had a blog post about it though
sort of
yesterday
Zoë: oh really?
it’s insane
me: called “eating the hottest pepper in the world”
Zoë: fucked me up last night
they make you sign a waiver
me: what was it like?
Zoë: well, i got the veggie burger
which is a really loose, meatloafy type patty
they make it there
and it’s covered in this reddish sauce
aka death sauce
and i guess it tastes kind of barbecue-y but i have no idea because it’s just insanely hot
like, it feels more “temperature hot” where you cant really taste anything
anyways, i couldnt finish that thing
the waitress said “a customer got really mad at me yesterday. he said ‘it’s not funny. no really, it’s not funny’ and i said ‘it’s not supposed to be funny’ ”
anyway, i’m never ordering that shit again
but, the rest of the menu looked super legit
we should go!
i saw you on the way home
you were walking from dolores
but i was too deathy to yell at you
me: whoa
yeah i like mr. teeth
so many different ways to get your tots!
Zoë: tot-ally
me: did you take any pics last night?
Zoë: not of food or anything
just of coworkers
oh but one shitty thing
one of the bathrooms was out due to plumbing
but the light was out in the other one
and it was completely dark
i tried doing the cell phone light thing
but people had clearly been peeing all over the place in the darkness
so there were no restrooms working
aka i had to leave
me: dang
quite a night

Now, watch this video Ariel made of Nick Fisher eating chicken fingers with the same gnarly sauce:

[Photo by @juliebadoolie]

5 Responses to “Death Burger”

  1. batman says:

    i am intrigued now…must try….

  2. Brendan says:

    Thats me in the photo signing the waiver for the death burger. It was spicy, but edible. I couldn’t really taste the burger, but it was fine.

    However I woke up at 3 AM thinking my intestines were going to explode and rolled around in intense pain for an hour. Possibly the worst pain I’ve ever experienced. I eventually fell back asleep and when I work up I was back to 100%.

    I highly recommend trying the death section of the menu at Dr. Teeth.

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