San Francisco to close at end of June

The Onion reports:

SAN FRANCISCO—Saying that staying in its current location was no longer feasible, sources across San Francisco confirmed Thursday that the popular Northern California city would be shutting its doors at the end of the month due to rising rent.

Residents and business owners of the iconic West Coast metropolis, which has occupied the same peninsula for generations, told reporters that spiraling costs had reached such a level that remaining in its 47-square-mile waterfront space was simply beyond its means.

Read on for more.

[Photo by Allie]

19 Responses to “San Francisco to close at end of June”

  1. DB says:

    Have they tried moving to Daly City?

  2. Truth says:

    This was in SFGate last week, they called it a ‘moratorium’

    • two beers says:

      Yes, building luxury lofts to capitalize on the demand of speculators and Chinese capital flight has proven to be effective at lowering the cost of housing. Let’s keep doing the same thing over and over, even though there is no evidence that building “market rate” housing has ever lowered the cost of housing anywhere. There surely can’t be any other approach, and Rand forbid we try something else than failed “market solutions.”

      • Truth says:

        It’s weird how you make a joke about Ayn Rand while sitting on the anti-progressive side of this discussion.

        “There is no evidence that building “market rate” housing has ever lowered the cost of housing anywhere.” Umm, yes if your source for information is your cat. Try doing some searches on this magic box you are communicating through and you’ll find much to your chagrin that yes, adding tons of new housing has somehow magically alleviated housing crunches and lowered rents in several places, Chicago is one of the most recent examples.

  3. Macks says:

    This is gonna hit too close to home for some people on this blog.

  4. Mark says:

    WE NEED TO BUILD MORE HOUSING. Seriously, go look at Seattle, it’s basically all construction at this point, holy hell why can’t people understand the need for housing

    • troll says:

      Plenty of cranes up in SOMA. Not that it matters.

    • scum says:

      Seattle is roughly 84 sq. miles of land with 670,000 people, while S.F. is roughly 47 sq. miles of land with 850,000 people, you cant compare the two.

      • MrEricSir says:

        I wish The Onion would stick to parodies, it hurts when they report the truth.

      • Mark says:

        Of course you can compare the two… The area around Amazon is just construction hell, they are actually building housing for their employees instead of making them venture elsewhere into Seattle to find it. Capital Hill is also building up absurdly, just look at that place on Valencia in planning limbo for a decade, and you can kind of get a sense to why our cost of living is so high.

        It’s not like the tech workers in Seattle make any less than the workers here, and honestly when you walk around Seattle it feels like proportionally they make up a much larger percentage of the population than here. So why is their cost of living less? And why hasn’t it exploded. I mean that as a serious question, because the answer is clear to me, but elusive to other people.

        • Mark says:

          btw for those who do not know, Amazon is effectively in downtown Seattle

          • troll says:

            Where’s Google located? How many apartments have gone up there?

          • Truth says:

            Mountainview, a City who’s NIMBYs get behind extremely restrictive policies that prevent people from putting new housing there. Much like the what’s going on in San Francisco . . .

  5. JohnnyL says:

    I say we go back to farmland…

  6. Tchrys says:

    I’ve got it! Let’s just rent out one of our spare neighborhoods on AirBnB and make a couple extra bucks!