A sanitized, corporate San Francisco, as predicted by David Cross and Bob Odenkirk in 1996

In the comments thread about the impending closure of Valencia Street vintage-by-the-pound outlet Clothes Contact, one commenter reminded us about this prescient Mr. Show sketch from nearly 2 decades ago. Keep an eye out for familiar faces:

Dang, Mr. Show sure is great.

Closed Contact

Looks like Clothes Contact is gonna peace out within 60 days:

$14000 / 2000ft² – Great Ground Floor on Valencia (mission district)

Great Frontage on Valencia and 16th. Nice three story building with great potential. Space will vacate approx 60 days… Possible to double space with full basement. Shown by appointment only.

Guess you gotta sell thrift by the ounce, not the pound, in this economy.

[via Craigslist]

Update: The gone-in-60-days figure may be inaccurate, according to current employee Travis:

Alright, I work there right now, and the truth is, it’s gonna be around at the very least until the end of the year. After that, we’ll have to wait and see what happens. But it’s sure as hell not closing in 60 days. Come in, you’ll see.

Calling our corner stores by name instead of calling them ‘the corner store’

I got tired of using intersections to specify what corner store you’re talking about: “The 20th and Bryant one is out of Watermelon Wheat, can you check the 23rd and Alabama one?” Etc., etc. So me and some friends started trying to call the ones we frequent by name, and we found that it’s both less time-consuming *and* more fun!

Here are all the ones I now know by name now:

  • Norm’s (20th and Bryant)
  • Mission Groceteria (23rd and Alabama)
  • Serv-U Market (21st and Bryant)
  • New Hampshire Market (20th and Hampshire)
  • King’s (22nd and Bryant)
  • Tony’s (24th and Hampshire)
  • Samy’s (24th and Bryant)
  • Isaac’s (22nd and Folsom)
  • R Image (25th and Folsom)
  • Rhea’s (19th and Valencia)

And then of course, there are these two:

What’d I miss?

[Photo by Google Maps]

28-year-old man shot and killed early Saturday morning at 16th and Valencia

Does anybody still go to Skylark?

Around last call on Saturday morning, 28-year-old Benjamin Martinez was shot multiple times near the corner of 16th and Valencia Streets. He was taken to San Francisco General where he later succumbed to his injuries.

According to Bay City News, police responded to the scene around 1:30 a.m. Saturday. The shooter fled the scene and SFPD has only described the suspect as “a male suspect with a gun.”

Bartender Derek Hypieper from Gestalt just down the street told Mission Local that his doorman heard multiple gunshots, but was unaware someone had been killed. SFPD also blocked off 16th Street and an ambulance was spotted by the 22-Fillmore stop outside Yoyo Restaurant.

Mission Local also noted that a memorial popped up in front of El Cafetazo late Saturday afternoon reading,”Rest in Paradise Benny.” Anyone else who may have spotted anything is encouraged to call SFPD directly at (415) 553-1145.

Back in 2012, a 20-person brawl broke out on the same corner around 2 a.m. on a Tuesday morning and left local kitchen legend Caesar Chuc on life support. Chuc passed away a few days later at San Francisco General.

That time in 1894 when bike messengers had to carry mail from Fresno to ‘San Fransisco’

The fine folks at Mission Bicycle Company were digging around in some public archives and came upon an awesome story. So they made a cool patch to commemorate it:

1894 found the United States in a deep depression. The infamous Pullman Strike crippled rail service west of Detroit all the way to the California coast, isolating San Francisco. No trains meant among other things, no mail.

In response, a bicycle mail route was organized totaling 210 miles, divided into 8 relays, and occupying 18 hours. The route offered to carry a letter via bicycle from one end to the other for $0.25.

This patch is a replica of the original stamp present on each letter carried. We retained the misspelling of San “Fransisco” for authenticity.

At least they didn’t call it Frisco! (Just kidding, that would’ve been fine.)

Check out this map:

Get your patch at the Mission Bicycle shop on Valencia, or online here.

Snappy answers

Last week Allan asked me to interpret some gross crap on a bathroom wall. Inspired by Al Jaffee‘s Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions, I gave it a crack.

When I was a kid I got the little paper back collections from MAD Magazine, and one of my favorites was Jaffee’s, both because they were hilarious, and also because they offered the opportunity for me to put my own punchlines in.

Insert your own here.

Some originals from Jaffee’s book, with my adolescent-mind additions, after the jump.


Awesome photo of Valencia Street by Google Maps

Boogaloos vs. St. Francis Fountain

My pal Nattles and I have a beef. We both like both places, but she prefers Boogaloo’s, and I prefer St. Francis, and sometimes it’s a problem. We decided to enumerate what we like about each place. First, Nattles and Boogaloo’s:

  • The people watching: Omer at the steps of that government building across the street (when he was around), the sidewalk sales on those steps… The bike lane & increased traffic in general on Valencia means you’re liable to run into more friends (and enemies) and see more strange sights.
  • The Boogaloos Classic: vegetarian biscuits and gravy. BOOM.
  • Desayuno Tipico: plantain cake!
  • I like flipping my coffee cup to indicate that Yes, I would love coffee like at an old school diner.
  • Corner shop – All the light!
  • Friendly people!
  • Coffee to-go at the front is serve yourself.
  • Nice to go alone to.
  • Straight up I’ve never found a dish at St. Francis that I *really* like, and I have two at Boogaloos that I haven’t strayed from in over 5 years.

Fair enough. Now me and St. Francis:

  • St. Francis has FRIES
  • It’s on 24th Street
  • There’s always a spot at the counter (unbeatable for solo dining)
  • It’s not on Valencia
  • The mimosas are better
  • The people watching is also great (24th Street!)
  • It’s not so bright! When you’re hungover, sometimes you don’t want it so bright!
  • I almost always order a grilled cheese sandwich with avocado and tomato and an egg over easy on the side, which I then plop on the sandwich. I’ve gotten this at both places and St. Francis just does it better. And it’s way better with fries, doy.
  • You get to watch sundaes and floats being made
  • Three’s Company trading cards for sale
  • On the rare occasion you have to wait for a table, the little bench out front is pretty clutch
  • Overflow dining room on the weekends, super-clutch
  • I just love the staff so much
  • You get to listen to the Clash or Talking Heads almost every single time

I love both places though. (FRIES!) Anyone else have any thoughts?

(Thanks, Nattles!)

[Photos by Google Maps]

Unreleased vintage ’00s music video by local rockers the Passionistas finally emerges

These guys totally ruled. I first saw them open for the Willowz at the Make-Out Room… holy shit… ten years ago, in ’04, around the time the Willowz had that song in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and were poised to become the biggest rock band in the world, but were still playing the Make-Out Room. For $6:

I didn’t have any friends here really, so I was standing alone in a corner between bands, and the show was sort of poorly attended because it was on a Monday night, so Myles (the drummer then but the singer in this new video) came over and made friends with me. We were both going to SF State, and we were both drummers, and I think we both lived in the Mission. It sure was a different time back then. Delfina was the only fancy restaurant. There was a KFC on Valencia. And bands like the Passionistas could still afford to live here.

They were a bare-bones rock ‘n’ roll band, a little arty but not too arty, with Myles’ slightly off-kilter drumming style and Aaron’s definitely off-kilter crooning. I would see them every chance I could after that. And I bought a lot of their (usually homemade) merch. Eventually they got another drummer so Myles could better help front the band, as you’ll see in a second.

They broke up in 2009 I think, and Aaron and Myles went on to do some amaaazing solo projects. But there was never anything quite like the Passionistas, so I was extremely pleasantly surprised to find this newly available song and video in my Facebook feed last night. It totally rules too:

(The Willowz were okay, but not as good as they got 5 years later on their killer album Everyone.)

Now check out all these old Passionistas-related Mission Mission posts…

New t-shirt design by Amos Goldbaum features SF’s official seal

Epic! Get it online or directly from Amos out on the sidewalk on Valencia this weekend!

[via Amos Goldbaum on Twitter]