Tax Dollas at Work: Noe Cops Nail HANGRY Tweaker in Dolores Park


Just in case anyone was wondering why Noe Valley *Buzz* is MY FAVORITE NEW NEIGHBORHOOD BLOG, allow me to enumerate the ways in which I adore their account of an epic arrest made at Dolores Park on Saturday. (They get -1 for tardiness, but who cares really?)

1.) They call the J-Church “the Jaaaaaaaaay Church.”

2.) Pure poetry: “And dood, this mo-fo was HANGRY! Probs sick from the hospital jello or maybe he had the Methadone Munchies but he was fixing to rob a b*tch of their picnic snacks from Bi-Rite like craaaaaaaaaaazy.”

3.) They censor “bitch.”

4.) Their take on the SFPD? “Legit. Tax dollas at work.”

5.) They love the truffle guy as much as I do: “He’s delish tho, brown and stoned. We thought he was Brazilian but he denied it…just really really hot.”

6.) How about this killer photography? I like the “Noe cop” cradling a bag of groceries.

I mean, the best I could muster was this Twitter tweet, but they delivered a joyful, action-packed feat of storytelling. They’re delish.

However, they do claim Dolores as part of da Noe. What do we have to say about that?


17 Responses to “Tax Dollas at Work: Noe Cops Nail HANGRY Tweaker in Dolores Park”

  1. zinzin says:

    dolores park…part of noe?

    that’s just silly.

    they’re probably just thinking everything south of 19th & west of guerrero is noe….because mostly white people live there now.


    viva la mision, in all its diversity.

  2. lardtub says:

    dolores park will never be in now valley. that is sick.

  3. Tyler says:

    Truffle guy is so hot!

  4. meave says:

    Well, look at a district map (that’s a .pdf, btw) — Dolores Park is in D8, which also encompasses most (?) of Noe, too. When I lived at 23rd and San Jose I was in D8, which was right on the edge of D9, and that was strange because what did I care about Noe issues? Nothing, is what.

    Also: When they say “da Noe,” are we supposed to be reading that like, “No,” rather than “No-ee”? Because Fresno has had dibs on “tha ‘No” for a long time.

  5. zinzin says:

    i think you really need to be on the south slope of that hill to be truly noe. emotionally i mean.

    that said, dolores x liberty is pretty noe-like.

    and 16th & mission, which is decidedly “mission”, is actually d6, which is mostly soma & tl. believe it was annexed into d6 in a re-districting exercise. go figure.

  6. johnny0 says:

    The upper Muni stop is about all there is to Noe. DP is clearly split between Castro and MIssion — I draw a diagonal line from the SW to the NE corner. (I’d say the tennis courts are definitely Castro though.)

  7. Bridge Troll says:

    I think under the bridge after dark is definitly Castro as well…

  8. Jamber Day says:

    I’m thinkin it’s the closest park for Noe people and that’s why they feel like it’s in “da noe”…I read that “in da noEEE” though. I say the E.

  9. Shakti says:

    Noe people can claim the mom-and-baby part of Dolores if they want, but THAT’S IT!

  10. C. says:

    Dolores = Mission, as in ‘Mission Dolores’.
    Anything with ‘Dolores’ in its name is ‘Mission’, regardless of geographical location or other-neighborhood-esque utilization on subtle levels (energetic, emotional) or gross levels (“under the bridge”, style of home, ethnicity (e.g. white) of occupants, importation of babies of ethnicity into park from home of style); districting into “zones” is more a planning thing than a thing connected with any realities of ‘hoodness (including “Stop American Apparel” zones ;) ).
    Really, anything named ‘Dolores’ came from the Mission, therefore can be claimed by the Mission. Even if it were, e.g., in Golden Gate Park or the Sunset or wherever…

  11. newshound says:

    Crazy- the Dolores Park turf war is on. I live on Liberty near Dolores and we call the hill Dolores Heights. And surprise, we care about the park too.
    I have already started the petition to rename the park *Noe Dolores Park*.

  12. zinzin says:

    @newshound – it’s a good point you make.

    who really cares what hood people think the park is in…long as they love it and take care of it….


  13. C. says:

    I was kidding by the way…
    zinzin & newshound, nice points.
    but what about a sticky-tag turf war between mission and noe teams?
    or a dog-show contest?

  14. zinzin says:

    i’m down for a dog show!

  15. ooeygooey says:

    Clearly, the dividing line is the 19th street “promenade” — Noe to the south and Mission to the North. That pavement strip down the middle of Dolores Park? No man’s land! Let’s rumble!

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