Mission Mission

It happens every year, all over. Reader Ross S. sends us this video he shot of some folks burning a tree in the street. (Thanks Ross!)

He also suggests that:

[A] public service announcement regarding when it is ok to burn things in the street (world series win) and when it isn’t (any other time) is in order.

That does sound helpful. When is it okay to burn things in the street? Though this seems a lot safer than burning a mattress in a crowd of hundreds of drunkenly excited fans. It’s probably never “okay”, if you’re really talking about a PSA, but you’ll do it anyway, so it’s always good to be safe while performing illegal acts of anarchy. Anyway, I always thought the beach was the spot to take all of the old Christmas trees. Stack ‘em up and build a super tree. Or just join Danger Ranger. (whoever that is)

One thing we should definitely avoid is leaving a burning tree on someone’s doorstep.

I’d like to also take this opportunity to wonder aloud about shooting video portrait-style, instead of landscape. I know we watch this stuff on our computers, and not the TV, but media still tends to be oriented wider rather than taller. I don’t think anyone prefers the pillarboxed look (seen above), yet people do tend to shoot this way with their phones. Do we need to make room for the long and narrow format? Or should we make people feel stupid so they conform to the old standards?

A fortnight ago, we were delighted by the sudden appearance of miseltoe all over the mission. This week Christmas trees are taking it to the streets. But unfortunately, this is not as fun. You can’t really make out with a stranger under one without getting covered in pine needles. They just sorta get in your way while you’re walking.

Most trees just crash out on the sidewalk like some marina transplant that had a few too many drinks before being kicked out of Kilowatt for grabbing girls. (Hey side story: I actually spent the day in the Marina yesterday and found it to be quite lovely. Great food, beautiful scenery, and Bro-douchery was minimal at best. I did hear a group of dudes refer to a really cute dog as a “panty-dropper” which sorta broke my heart a little. On the other hand, I heard some other guy on the bus use the term “warm up” for what I call “pre-party” and I’ve been using it ever since. Anyway, on to the tree):

Or some folks just let that tree crawl away itself. Look out! Conifer crossing! (Valencia & 15th)

Hey, even dead trees need some of that good ‘ol H20. Check out this guy in a stylish plastic winter coat straddling a fire hydrant. Tampering with city property just for another sip? Tsk!

This tree always had bigger dreams. Traffic safety dreams. Some might call it a hero. (22nd and Bartlett)

But I think the most creative tree disposal comes to us courtesy of 1337 h4x0r and all around swell guy Mr. Eric Sir. This tree is the perfect muni stop companion. No idle chit-chat, no seat hogging, just a pine-fresh scent while you wait.

Unfortunately, it also seems to be a piss magnet. What is it about human nature that makes it so appealing to piss next to plants?

See you next year, trees.